Saturday, 17 April 2010

Sacrifice and high horses.

Yesterday I decided to take a step further. It wasn't a thought out decision and it was very simply done. It was hardly an erratic move, anyone who knows me may be a bit suprised, probably they won't be, but I doubt they were shocked. It was well within my personality. By the way I'm not justifying it, just that sometimes you get to the stage where you think yeah okay I want to go there. It's part of my exploration and expression as pretentious as that sounds, how else do you put it?

I posted a link on a board along with a message in which I explained why I posted, a warning and a mini "apology." It was that picture I posted a link to on here yesterday. There are pictures of people with full frontal shots, black and white artistic nudes and one in which a woman is catching her man's come with her tongue as he shoots on her breasts and young women looking like girls with tops and skirts pushed up, pulled down. On this board the latter pictures feature along with messages like I'm going to poo, who wants to chat whilst I do so? Which I'm not mocking but the board is called perverted female sexuality and has a lot of taboo and left of centre stuff. It's a way to express yourself and I won't ever mock that.

Let's just say my message on that board didn't go down well with one young woman. In fact she really got on her high horse with this one. I've encountered similar tones from women before, the -no you move out the way- kind of stuff. I'm not saying they are all the same but I know someone jumping on their high horse and intolerance when I see 'em. Like I say consider the tone of the group, consider my warning message, consider other posts on the group. But no that was not considered in her reply to me to me on that board.

The outcome of the situation could be that I have my not just my membership to that board deleted but that I have my account deleted too. I'm prepared for that, I can still communicate with all my friends and that's the sacrifice I'll make. But when I set out to express myself, that will not be sacrificed. I won't post anything but a few words on that board again. I won't be going further in expressing myself on there, no exploration for me on there. I'll do it anywhere but there. If I have crossed a line, there was another way to tell me. I'm not even sure if I have pushed boundaries. In this world, young girls can dress up in short, short skirts and we can have The Pussy Cat Dolls. We can have photos of sexuality if they are artistically done. But we can't have honesty..unless it's full out porn. Just ask yourself, how offensive is a picture of a woman licking her breasts? IS that really porn? If it's a pornographic act, isn't "I'm going to poo chat to me whilst I do so?" Again consider the board and that I posted the link, not the picture, and consider that I explained myself.

So in going after what you want which is to live out your sexuality, you have to make sacrifices but think about what they are. I'm not doing it out of pride, or to not back down, I'm doing this as an expression. And if you have read my blog you will know that is not just a cheap cliche.

And you have to be prepared for the inconvenient as well as the good. I won't give details but you know there are people who have taboo tastes which you don't share and you find a turn it worth it to stay in contact with them? That's a fully fledged question, one which I will leave open.

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