Sunday, 29 August 2010

I want to go into the wild, to be as real, down to earth, in touch with my raw side as much as I can possibly can be.

It's quite an odd sentence to write, this, but some books go directly into my blood stream. They go beyond love, and into fascination. I read Into The Wild on Friday on the way to see my Dom. I bought another book as well but it was Into The Wild that whilst had nothing to do with the purpose of my trip (even if you really analyse it you will find that some things can't be linked and explained so easily) that had that ..WOAH factor. It got to me bad. I've read it twice again since.

The harshness of nature, the force of nature, we've heard the terms and descriptions but this book really slams it home. I didn't know about the man in the books' journey, his name is the quite lovely sounding Chris McCandless, I found something out that shocked me. Of course it's not surpising but the JOURNEY..I have always admired people who march to the beat of their own drum. That's not about being a selfish fuck. It's about living your life the way you want and NEED as much as you can. It's very simple to type that but my God going after one thing requires so much inner strength when the time comes that really it's one of the hardest things you could do no matter how much you want and need it.

I'm not into imitation or escape. I just don't want to live my vanilla life, the life outside my submissive life, when I have been given chances, without really living it. I have decided in my spare time to get as much outdoors training as I can. It's again easy to type. It won't be easy to go through with. I know the obstacles. The lack of support from peers at the start, the money, the insomnia, heights, rocks...dare I say mountains. I want to go into the wild, one day like Chris but before then to be in nature, the thing that is real. I want to as down to earth as I can be, as in touch with my raw side as I can possibly be alive.

I don't want to be anyone else but I can really, deeply relate to Chris McCandless. Sometimes in books that go into my blood, that I love, adore, am fascinated by, I mostly do NOT relate to the people in them but Chris hit home.

Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Always Yours by Penn Halligan.

I think my mind goes places and sort of takes days to come back.

I had bought this book a few days ago but like some kind of inexplicable, had only read it today. Like an ooh what's this on my downloads. Like the book you downloaded dummy.

So K moments aside, I enjoyed reading a book, in the category Naughty Nibble (YUMS). As Penn tends to do, she gets right down to the raw need that runs through us all. For me this book is about the reality of knowing you are someone else's. I don't even have to talk about the characters. It's a Penn Halligan book, the characters are perfectly human and brillianty written.

There are so many mouthwatering words that I want to share but it will ruin the story so I will leave a blurb and a K teaser! Enjoy this nibble, I recommend to all, it's available from Noble Romance Publishing, See ya soon folks,

"Annie and Scott are in lust. The sex is perfect. The orgasms, sublime. Lick. Suck. Fuck.

Problem is, Scott’s idea of commitment is a diamond ring to hold on to his lover. Annie adores her man but she belongs to no one and if he hasn’t worked that out then maybe Scott’s not for her.

After months of separation the two lovers reunite. The sex is as hot as ever but has her man finally realized that no diamond is needed to bind lovers as one?"

"Scott eyes zeroed in on her. Annie gulped. Crap. She didn't want him back in her life. It was bad enough she thought about him. She decided to act like he was no one special. That he wasn't the man she spent six months pining over. The man who had not called her once. So much for his idea of love. If she had worn his blasted ring, would he have called? She started swimming—fast and furious, despite the pain in her knee. The doctor's words to "take it slowly" came back to her. You took a hard fall on that knee. Cement isn't forgiving. But you should be gentler on yourself. Yeah well, that was hard to do with Scott suddenly there. Annie wanted to swim and not think. The faster she did and the more pain she was in, the easier it would be to focus on anything but him.


She kept swimming.


Fuck off. Go away, get out of my life. Her knee throbbed as she picked up the pace.
Scott jumped into the water and swam straight toward her. It was only a matter of time before they collided.

Annie hit male flesh and sputtered. It was impossible not to grab hold of him as she choked on a mouthful of water. "Go away."

"Kind of hard to do when you're holding onto me so tightly."

"You scared me." In more ways than one. The feel of her body against his made her lightheaded with need. "Anyway, what do you want?" Annie fought the need to wrap her legs around his waist and grind her pussy against his cock.

"I want to talk to you." His hands moved around her waist.

Oh no, that was bad. Good but bad. "Why?""

"Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth."

I read something yesterday, about living on the outside, about being isolated, about living in your bubble or cell. It's funny but in that I find liberation. Freedom comes from knowing what I want and going after it, nervous, fearful, terrified perhaps.

I've been ignoring people, being a quiet woman, perhaps rude to most. I've been thinking a lot about what I want. I orignally typed what it was but actually, why should I say. But in this thing that I want, I get pushed. I want to be pushed, don't take me as I am when I don't know what I could be. I want to be presented for the sake of being used. Now take what you want from that word. It's as simplistic or deep as you make it. I can be all different things on the outside but inside, ME, that hasn't gone anywhere. Ultimately I want the simple life. Basic. I have possessions but you can take them away from me. Yes, even technology. I don't have an interest in gadgets, in buying small things, I think they look nice and pretty but nice and pretty is just that to me. I'm interested and single mindedly so nowadays in being the woman in the corner who doesn't say or do anything but to survive basically and have a few laughs, much like how I was when I was a child, and going into, reading and writing literature, films and erotica.

I've always wanted to be institutionalised in some way. I used to think it was to make friends but it's actually because I love something about it. Safety? Conformity? Belonging? The day it becomes about that, that's the day I quit the instituition. I want truth, more than love, pleasure (money, faith, fame- mean bullshit to me) and truth comes from where there is honesty. There's too much shallowness in this world for honesty and honesty doesn't come from anything bad, it comes from a good place.

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."— Chris McCandless

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Hey honeys!

I'm back.

I thought I'd start off with a blog post about a book and a link. I would do two seperate posts but I have a cold. Make sense?


So, I bought the new Lissa Matthews book, Arctic Shift. I have been waiting for this for some time, because Ms Matthews tends to post a cover image of her next book and it just teases me really.

A few days ago I was reading Educating Rose which Lissa wrote, I had read it a couple of times since I bought it and I love reading it each time, Rose's submission to her new Dom, his character, her inner strength, her loveliness and his experience. With Lissa's book, you get heroines who are celebrated for being women, it IS empowering, some people have an aversion to what they term ordinary, but they don't understand that truly and no matter how trite it sounds on here, what's inside is what makes a heroine. Not that their appearance should be overlooked, it's part of them and it's their beauty and they have plenty of it, when you get past that immaturity of only believing Vogue stunning is beautiful, then you see beauty in a lot of faces and bodies and shapes and heights, they become people, not measurements, breasts are beautiful, they don't have to be 36 D to be that way. I love the way Lissa writes her heroines thoughts and conversations. I always believe I'm there, right there with the heroine.

And her heroes are yum..I have a lot time for heroes in Erotica..because quite frankly they are fucking sexy, of course they are, it's Erotica, the man is wooing the woman with his sex..I'm good with descriptions aren't I..but to have a hero I actually admire, who I think I like you, that makes them special. I love Lissa's heroes. They're so mature in their head and they fun and human too. You know, just written very well, REAL, like I'm right there with them too.

Alright, so I read Sweet Caroline after reading Educating Rose. I'm actually in love with that book and then today with Artic Shift, I mean come on I read a book not too long ago that changed my life called Comfort Food and to have a different book that can excites you and inspires you, it's a big thing for me. I'm so into books like Story of O and Comfort Food and Owned and Owner, they are all different to each other but are non conventional Erotica, and to have something that wouldn't necessarily fit into non con, not that I'm intolabels I'm just simplifying and trying very badly to make some sort of point, it's a big credit to the author who can make something else get into your blood when you have pretty big things in there. And that was worded very badly but do you know what I mean?

For now, I will leave you with a blurb and excerpt from Arctic Shift. I absolutely love all of Lissa books and this one is no cool down, there's always something different, something that makes me know just why I love this author's work so much. She writes romance and erotica in one so beautifully, it's so natural, it just flows and there's so much to get from her work, I wonder sometimes does she even have to think what's she writing, she's that natural.

Following this, I'm going to link to a new project of mine. It's a documentary I am co producing about the author Jack Kerouac. I find this man absolutely amazing. I am learning more and more new things about him and the other day someone was talking leaving everything and going all Into The Wild ish to be simplistic about something deep and meaningful once again. Well, I want to live my life and Kerouac is an icon who inspires that.

Arctic Shift by Lissa Matthews,

"She believes in myths…can she believe in destiny?

Denali Heat, Book 1

Unlike her adventurous sister, Ruby is perfectly content to let her mind be the wanderlust while her body stays safely in Chicago. Melanie wouldn’t be out of touch this long without a damned good reason, though. Which means it’s time for a giant step outside her comfort zone.

While Denali National Park is like another planet, the myths and legends that saturate this wild land are right up her alley. The wilderness guide waiting for her—naked in her bed—looks about as safe as a polar bear.

Carson’s people are kin to the great beast, right down to the white hair. Before Ruby ever set foot in Alaska, his inner bear knew that Melanie’s little sister was his mate. He’s doing his level best not to let his primal needs scare her, but everything about her sends his urge to possess her into overdrive.

To his surprise, revealing he’s a shifter only stimulates her innate curiosity. Warming her with the perfect fire of their lovemaking, easy. Convincing her that real love isn’t a myth—and making her want to stay in his home, his bed, his heart—now, that’s a problem…
The kitchen dominated the other end of the room. Stainless appliances and bronze accents made it appear inviting even if a bit daunting. She enjoyed cooking, but that wasn’t the kind of kitchen for the hobbyist cook. It was for the diehard professional or diehard I-love-to-cook-and-ain’t-afraid-to-show-it cook.

“It’s my other passion, as you know.”

“What’s the first?”

“The outdoors. Love skiing, sledding, mushing. I think I’m going to have a new one that will be much more time consuming and involved. Probably just as strenuous too.”

She couldn’t stop staring at him when he talked. His mouth was quite sexy. “Really? What?”

“If you have to ask that question and judging by the look on your face, you seriously are asking, I’m gonna have to let you think about it.”

She didn’t understand. “I’m confused. I was being sincere in my…” And she stopped speaking, the realization dawning on her. He was talking about her being his new passion. God, he must think her an idiot. “Nevermind. Where’s your shower?”

Damn man smirked at her and ruffled her hair as though she were a child. In retaliation, she stuck her tongue out at him and after a few seconds realized it was not the smartest thing to do. His smile dropped, and his already dark eyes darkened more. She read sex and lust immediately in the snarl of his lips.

It turned her on, this animalistic side of him.

“Don’t stick it out if you’re not prepared to use it.”

“Right. After a shower maybe.”

“Tease,” he muttered. “This way.”

He led her up an open, wooden staircase behind the fireplace. The second floor had four rooms, two on one side and two on the other. From what she could see through the open doors, one might be a bathroom, while the other three appeared to be bedrooms. The middle was open to the great room below and picture windows flanked every open area of wall. There were no actual pictures around but there was no need. The outside world was art enough.

“I’m glad you like it.”

She turned her head toward Carson. He was just as beautiful as the rough and rugged wilderness landscape he lived in. “I love it. I’m in awe of it.”

“Good. It commands respect, demands it and is deserving of it. C’mon, this way.”

He led her through a bedroom, his probably judging by the lived-in feel, and into a bathroom. There were windows looking out over the back of the property. She could stand under the spray of the shower and stare at the mountains beyond. “I bet you never get tired of the view.”

“I don’t. If I did, I could put something up to cover it, but…it’s ever changing. I’ll put your bags on the bed and go down and make something to eat. Holler if you need anything.”

He seemed reluctant to go and his manner was a bit stiffer than before. A quick glance down his body showed his cock was hard, and she heard him huff before he turned and walked out. The view of his ass in jeans wasn’t too bad either.

His earlier comment about her being a tease floated through her head. She wasn’t trying to be a tease and honestly didn’t know the first thing about being one. That was Melanie’s area. She was the brains and the beauty, while Ruby was the fanciful plain Jane. Sticking her tongue out at Carson had been done in a teasing manner, but not one meant to tease him sexually.

Though, after what he did for her last night, using his mouth on her… She’d fallen asleep and slept better than she could remember sleeping in a long, long time. Her body relaxed, her mind eased and she’d slept like a baby, even if she hadn’t slept long enough.

She could still feel his mouth too. He kissed her sex the way he kissed her mouth, completely as if it were the only thing, the most important thing in the world. And he used everything…tongue, teeth, lips, breath. Not having a reference point for how awesome it felt to have a man make you come orally, she thought it was probably the best thing in the world, right up there with… Well, she didn’t know what to compare it to that would be just as good. Much as she loved her self-induced orgasms and her fun little sex toys, nothing made her feel quite like his mouth had.

Being on top was… She’d never done that either. No man had pulled her up over his face and then pulled her down while at the same time telling her to ride the tip of his tongue. No one had ever let her have that kind of power and that’s what it was, a form of power. He held her, but he let her control how it happened by lifting up, or grinding down to get to the edges of his teeth.

Talk about amazing. Sh—

“You ever gonna turn on the shower?”

She jumped, squeaked even. Had he just been standing outside the door? She never heard him move after he left, but if he’d gone to get her bags as he said, she didn’t hear him come back either. In response, she quickly figured out his shower knob and turned it on.

And then she heard his laugh."