Okay last night I was watching a film just a regular film and I was feeling a bit turned on anyway, I sort of had this weird gunshot idea of becoming a prostitute. Yes. I have these weird gun shot ideas at bedtime anyway, because it's right where I am comfortable and I can imagine wearing say 6 inch stilletos and a short jacket, but when I wake up I want the comfiest shoes and longest jacket.
What stops me from a career that would make my mother proud, is actually hygiene, really, and also me. I'm not going to go into it now fully but let's just say if I could wear a mask and make sure the lights were off the time of sex, I would be able to be the slut I am inside. That's not insecurity speaking by the way..you really need to have read my previous blog posts and those on my other blog. Like I say, do not want to go into it now for sake of my own sanity.
I definitely want something where I can be honest and forthright about me and be able to explore me fully.
So I get pissed off when I see this new thing about women chefs cooking and acting all weird sexy in front of the camera which of course happens to get a nice right between the cleavage shot. Why not just tie a woman to the stove barefoot and have her naked in your apron instead of having these two worlds where you talk about respecting women and then you have a woman who is filmed so cheaply for satisfaction and viewing figures? What ever happened to in the bedroom? I have no qualms, in fact being a slut in the bedroom is prerequisite for me..because that's where I'm going to explore sexuality but for fuck sake, I'm not going to cheapen myself in the world outside the bedroom, I want to be respected and viewed as an equal, not a sex kitten. I don't want to play into a man's game. I don't want to use my feminity to get ahead. I want to explore it and use it for sex only, for MY sexual fullfillment.
Now you can call me hypocritical and/ or backwards, but I'm not going to defend myself because you can't understand me. I argue now with people who are on my wavelength which by the way is not a statement on intelligence, I never said I was intelligent, I'm of average intelligence but I can articulate my feelings, emotions and thoughts and be honest.