Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Dream and tell.

A dream that you wish will come true..if you don't tell it. Well, like I say I don't believe in myths. For me it's very important, no essential to my living that I am 100 percent honest and explore everything. There's that expression don't air your dirty laundry, well this is my blog and I shall do what I wish on it. You are going to get the good and the bad.

Early hours of this morning I had the best dream I have had for while. It wasn't the best sleep but the content feeling I got during that dream, I felt warm and cosy. I felt happy inside. I could feel that, I don't know to what extent I was asleep and to be honest I'd rather take sleep over great dreams.

I don't believe that much in dreams because I don't like living under rules of any sort, that's why I read my horoscope and balk at the things I'm not supposed to do. Instead, I try and do them. It's not a rebellion or a fuck you, it's having to be free. I want that freedom at a great cost, fine, so be it.

But this dream meant a lot to me...because of that feeling I got inside.

I basically formed an easy, and meaningful friendship with this man whilst I was somewhere else. Whether it was another town or country I don't know..it was just a sense of being somewhere else. Perhaps it was a place called freedom. We spent time together talking, and were if not already watching a dvd in this room with just the two of us. I was clearly comfortable with him and then he wrote me a note after an interruption. Memories of that note are very hazy but I remember it was that that affirmed our friendship and how much this quickly formed, true bond meant to both of us, his feelings for me as a human being and a friend and an equal were very clear on that note. It was witty, articulate and meaningful..just like him. My image of him was someone perhaps 5 years older or the same age as me, or rather that was just how close we were intellectually. He looked kind of the same as men my age too..but he was so on par with me and so different to them.

He also never took anything of me for granted and nothing went unappreciated. He and I were purely equal. Then, it got time for me to move on and I remember something came in the way in the sense I would have to evaluate if I wanted a relationship with him and to approach him about that. I remember thinking, I should show him this side of me, show him my Erotica and not least because I knew he would have the intellect to read it, really read it.

What I have learned from this dream, that it was just a dream but that happiness I got inside confirms how important it is one never settles for less, especially if you are honest and in touch with yourself, you owe it to your soul, corny as that sounds, to never, ever settle for less.

The writer part of me is inspired to use this sort of spirit..not story..for Those Two, one of my stories on this blog. In that, there's two men and now I have come to a decision about them and me.

I hope everyone has at least one good dream from time to time..inspired or not, it's great for the soul.

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