Dear Diary,

There are 5 things I want from life. My 5.

1. Have sex with someone who's very experienced sexually. Someone who knows all the moves as they say.

2. Take someone's virginity, not some weasly boy's but someone who just needs to let down their spectacles from time to time.

3. Have sex with a woman.

4. Have two men love me whilst I am inbetween them, we wake up a threesome and make love that way. I get wetter each time I think they're going to kiss each other. I wait to see what happens.

5. Have rough sex with a man in alleyway, the kind of man who ought to know better.

6. Because I can't stop at 5, have sex with someone just after they have come into some money. There is nothing like that feeling of exultation and power screwing you. We'll screw on a bed of money like they do in the movies.

7. I want to make a sex tape not like idiots do but one which makes me something of an icon in certain spheres.

8. I was stupid, 8 isn't enough, 18 isn't enough. I want it all.

I'll be back another time.