Wednesday, 21 October 2009

So I know this is expressyourdepression at the moment

rather than express your kink. The kink will come soon ..

But here's the thing. Yesterday I went to hospital as I found a smallish spot on my cheek became a swollen hard bump, rather red (shows up so much on my skin) and I was diagnosed with infected dermatitis. Which is sort of eczema that has become infected. I was given a cream and to be honest it was actually nice to have a little trip out in the evening (must do again) (but preferably not to a hospital).

Why am I writing about this? It's on my mind. You know when you are waiting for something to work..well here I am waiting. It could take days before I see an improvement but then also there may be no improvement. I don't think it will get worse unless a gremlin bites my cheek at night. (Which sort of leads to the response of ugh no thank you).

I'm not vain but you know because it's so out there for everyone to see and there are so many misconceptions about skin stuff, it's a little annoying to say the least. Yes I'm lucky to be alive. I know that. However with regards to skin, people automatically go "acne"..which is fine because acne is very common ..but there are so many misconceptions about that, mostly "ugh unhygenic." Which I intend to set right.

Even in erotica books you'll see phrases like pimply faced geek.

And this is too big too be a pimple and can not be concealed. But then it's not big, big.

I take care of my hygiene and cleanliness but I have a weak immune system and that I feel could be the only reason why I got this. My father does also have a history with eczema though. Mine mostly resembles a lump spot-zema.

Anyway, kind of hard to write sexy, sexy stuff at the moment. Sex at the moment just feels like it should be more of a release kind of thing. Not anything creative or fun. And it's all too raw..pun have it as inspiration for anything I write. Not that I write about porcelain skinned wasp waisted heroines. My heroines and heroes are real (speaking of, I have a new muse- and he's not an actor or whatever). And yes I do believe in the term real woman - provided you don't take it too literally, but that's a whole other debate.

So I guess it's fare well for the moment. I may do some writing focusing more on romance soon but next week may involve doctors visits and I know afterwards I will just want to take one big chill pill along with whatever they prescribe me.

I remember the first time I had something like this. It wasn't the same as what I have now but that's thing, so I have my doubts as to the improvement scale never mind that thing clearing. I spent that -last time I had something similar to thus- week watching 80s movies like My Best Friend is A Vampire (thanks to a very kind friend- who also gave me very good advice) so it wasn't all bad but boy that particular one was on a good day, just peeled the bandage off to find healage.

I of course don't expect miracles like that, and I'm unbandaged this time (oh gosh you're thinking The Mummy aren't you) but I'll always remember, excessively sad though it is, as it was the week before Christmas too.

Oh sigh and farewell for now.

Take care of yourselves. I'll let you know if Kinky has to have herself a little procedure.

1 comment:

  1. So a few days later and it's a VERY gradual improvement meaning from a distance still looks the same but close up you can see some improvement. It's hardly a blister comes off situation. This time it's different. So I am faced with the possibility that by this time next week it will be experimenting with concealers and having it look like a prominent lump/scar for a month. And then it recurring. As eczema often does. Funny thing is it's for the world to see and comment on with being on my face. One can only hope for improvement so I won't complain too much. I guess this will give me the balls I always hoped for. But I have been researching depression and skin disease. Here is what I found and is here what I have to say about it.

    Please read the above article.

    When you have a broken leg, you face the possiblity of not walking again either for some time or for longer or forever. You also face prejudice and unemployment. When you have a skin disease, you don't enjoy walking BECAUSE of prejudice and employment becomes a lot harder. Never underestimate the impact this condition can have on an individual. Nobody makes a face at someone in a wheelchair. They make a face at someone who has a skin condition.

    It affects your waking hours and your sleep. It affects how often you wash your hands. It affects where you can go. It affects your diet. It affects your social life. You can try your best and it shouldnt do but it does. It affects your mind. That's the hardest thing. The waiting, the possibility of having a treatment not work, waiting two hours to see a doctor with no certainty of what they may say, etc etc, all these thoughts run through your head everyday.