Saturday, 31 October 2009

Kinky's alternative sexy list

Not because they are alternative but because it is an alternative list.

Every year some poops do a sexy list. They talk about charisma blah blah when it's just about grooming and looks. Same old, same old.

And ew. Emma Watson? As in young Emma Watson?

Happy Halloween Bitches.

1. Whitney Port. Now come on, you hate "superficial" shows but you'd tune into The Hills for this bomb. There's a reason LC likes this girl so much. Just good friends? Whatever. The girl knows her fashion but she doesn't come across as snobby. She talks about clothes with passion. Not afraid to take risks and very human. Trapped in the body of a model. Oh Whit, I'll rescue you from this terror.

2. Leighton Meester. There's a pic of her in a black top and jeans, hair pulled back, exuberant face. She may have done a sex tape but she's no Kim Kardashian. Behind the scenes she and Chace Crawford make out like a school teacher wrapped primly in brown tweed and her favourite student.

3. One Tree Hill Brooke and Hayley. These two believable endearing characters are not quite the Todd Anderson, Neil Perry sandwich I'd like to go, but a nice addition to spanking Sundays.

4. Simon Cowell. The heavens made a man who pulled his trousers up so high it made me want to pee just looking at him. If pee doesn't turn you on, Cowell will. You can try to explain it. You can use words like charisma. Confidence. Buisness sense. Humour. You could. But just sit back and enjoy.

5. Edward Cullen. Played by some man called Robert Pattinson. Pattinson is blessed with good skin but even if he wasn't, he'd rock Edward Cullen like no one. He admires Brando? It shows..and that peformance was still original. And sexy. See Cullen is the sexiest vampire and Pattinson got him just right. And thus it pleased those who lusted after the Edward in the books and those who hadn't yet read them. Cullen is so not the poser loner. He is Brando.

Coming soon, golden showers and red hot heat.

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