Thursday, 29 October 2009

Erotic romance heroes and real life.

I've never had a thing for someone who would feature in an erotic romance novel which and whose heroes I love.

I think that's one of the reasons I subjected a part of the world (3 people probably) to my abuse of the genre, is to have a creation based on men I have known and not known so much.

It's pure selfishness. It's great!

I LOVE erotic romance and I love the heroes. I don't feel alienated when I read a book or when I read about the hero. There's a couple of things that make me roll my eyes I'll admit but then if I'm kind of in a mood that day I'll roll my eyes at Friends, you know? Do you see my point..

I love erotic romance heroes because they're pure turn on. It's the whole thing that makes up erotica, having someone push your buttons and bringing you closer to pleasure. Whether it's reading about hard asses or hard abdominal muscles or beautiful blue eyes or a beautiful sense of humour or you know anything that can capture a woman's interest, especially if she's horny, they're all captured wonderfully in erotic romances. These men come to life. Er probably because they have a personality as opposed to the one dimensional stuff I talk about here.

So how come if I encountered someone like that in real life, and I had once, it doesn't turn me on? It's probably me. Like I don't know them to the extent I get to know them in erotic romances. It's certainly not an intimidiation thing. I'm not normally attracted to people I am intimidated by because aside from the fact I'm intimidated by everyone no really, I think losers use intimidation.

The powerful boss scenario can be sexy as hell in fantasy, but I think MAJOR FUCKBUTT in real life.

I don't like men who growl at you. I don't like men who are sarcastic. Or grumpy. They come off as arseholes and I in turn hate them. In a I despise you for your lack of humanity kind of way not a I hate but want to secretly lick chocolate off your dick way.

But in an erotic romance book this Mr sarcastic grump is a hotter Mr Rochester (if you like him, I do but he's a little bitchy isn't he?) ..and in books, loner, sarc grump guy doesn't make me spit "asshole."

Oh that's interesting terminology..anyway..

There's really no real point to this post in particular. Oh actually there is, I just remembered. I bought an erotica ebook. And I really enjoyed the way he was pushing her buttons to get to know her, to get past the polite exterior one tends to put on if they don't want to end up losing their job and working as a ho, but then he started doing this thing. Talking. Oh God. The animal references. I'm more a *grunt* occasional (but please not too often)"baby" type woman, you know?

And the other non point of this post. I tend to go for nice people. Not pushovers. I hate pushovers. I hate passive aggresive people. Er probably because that would include me. But I hate that in a man. Ooh do I expect man to pay for our first dinner together? Fuck yes. It give me a little thrill. But I don't tend to go for smooth, suave men. It's just men who are polite without asserting themselves too much, who have a natural ease and charm, a smile, a hello. I go so crazy for men like that. Just being around them is enough for me. It makes my day and I can masturbate to the idea of them being kinky with me.

Actually there was one hero in an erotic romance who turned me on immensely. He himself was a turn on as opposed to what he said, which was also a turn on but as I'm a huge fan of dirty talk, it becomes a bigger turn on than the actual man himself. If animal references aren't used and the "baby" isn't abused, dirty talk = SEX on fire.

So my future fantasy husband was a teacher. And funny. And intelligent without reminding me of a dreadful Sherlock Holmes movie I once saw. And not too sophisticated, you know not Rochester worldy. He's a little too weary for me. So back to teacher. He was a man in touch with his sexuality but only had eyes for her, without calling other women bad names. Though he did say something but I'll forgive Mr Kincaid that. God even the name was sexy.

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