Monday, 1 February 2010


6 months ago I started working out every day. You see I saw this movie Scent of a Woman..! and fell in love with the tango dance scene. I wanted to dance solo so I looked up salsa on youtube. And since I wasn't going out much, I used to use a ministepper and do an extra 15 minutes or so "dancing." But I found salsa on one's own boring. I mean, I think if anything this dance and the tango are meant for two can do some moves on your own but it sort of takes away from the magic of it. I feel.

I discovered through this, some videos on arabic belly dancing. Within a month of doing an hour and a half of this every day, I noticed a difference in my arms. But when I saw my mum a month later, she told me I was half the size I was before. No joke. This reads as a dodgy weight loss ad, bare with me..I just like to be thorough.

I didn't need to wear clothes other than my nightsuit everyday so I didn't notice how much weight I lost. It was also gradual. Each month, I'd lose more and more weight. When it got to Summer (heck yes a capital S) I had to alter a lot of clothes and I saw a difference in my waist. I also had toned arms and for once in my life, I could see my ab muscles. To me, a girl who has always been soft, short and round, it was like a transformation of a sort. I was still soft, short and round but I was toned and slim. That didn't make me happy but seeing my body, seeing its potential in the sense I could see what it looked like after I put it through some stuff, that made me happy.

And weirdly I didn't start off to lose weight and it wasn't my goal to keep it off, rather I wanted to do this workout everyday as part of my daily "routine" really. I would wake up, eat, watch, workout and then write, masturbate, read, watch and masturbate-haha! I'm not quite accurate there! But it was something of a cool time, not seeing ignorant people's faces, Training Day, Michael Stevens, this blog, sunshine and warmth.

It seemed I wanted to explore my potential and in doing so, I noticed how I felt sexier. It wasn't my appearance; I have never been admired for that and I always thought health was more important anyway, but seeing my body- slim arms, a tiny waist, hips that flared from the waist (though I'm not much of a hip flarer, mine are quite small unfortunately), I could see and feel my shoulders and back strong but feminine. And like as I said before I could see my body. It comes back to that.

Of course I wasn't happy with the reduction in my breast size. Whereas I used to wear minimisers before, I'm wearing padded bras now. But they are frillier and prettier.

I've always been a breast girl, I get a lot of pleasure from the twins..but they're still doing okay. And my nipples are still obviously naturally as fantastic as ever.

I've noticed my tits (I like that slang) sag more when I bend down and whilst sag is natural, breasts are made up of fat and if fat decreases, breasts are going to do so as well. to different extents in different people.

But I can know what small breasted girls go through in the sense ..breasts are not everything. Sure, they maybe to some people but if your sexuality and sexual creativity,!, are so low you need to see pumped up boobs, then that's rather sad. The human body is about so much more. It's not just about femininity and mounds of flesh and how women "should" look, who makes up these rules by the way? You want to talk it, don't just read the magazine and newspaper "research." My femininity, my sexuality is linked to my potential and my health. Only a part of it is looks. And if the visual is so important, that itself should be explored too in looking more over as opposed to just merely looking.

My life hasn't changed because of the weight loss but I still keep up the workouts though limiting them to 5 minute daily abs and a full workout about once a week, fortnight or even month. I used to walk a lot before and that shows in my legs, my I am boastful, short but I've been told they're beautiful (no "lucky" man..just my sister and but I walk more now..I have more energy and excersise, is more daily existence.

Sometimes you need to give your body that push for whichever or if any motive and then it just gets better and better. I've noticed how easily I can keep the weight off, which has come as a surpise to me. I can see and feel my arms a little less toned but I know what to do should I ever want to have them as they were a month ago.

I'm healthier now. I'm in my weight range for my height, granted this is a guide but knowing I have that in check is not so much a relief, but it makes me happy. I know I have one aspect of my life..not in control so much but that it makes's become like a science to me, I've got it figured out.

And my ab muscles are quite kissable.

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