Monday, 17 May 2010

So I was watching Shopgirl, I went to look up Ray's quote

that he was wondering how he missed a woman he did not give his all to, or did not let all of her in, and how he had done this so he wouldn't miss her, yet he still did. I wanted to quote that because I think it's sad yet beautiful. However, I couldn't not get affected by a quote I read before that, "A woman needs to be held, even, and science has shown this, if its with someone she doesn't care about. Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released depends on the degree to which she is held. The first and best is the complete surround. He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are. Second best is the 'arm around." He is next to you but with one arm around you. Third is he's just next to you on his elbow, but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you. Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest, while he looks away into space. But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman. It was a radio personality in this movie, I didn't even hear this quote but it's really one which causes you to think and wonder and disagree or agree either fully to some extent.

What do YOU think about this? IS this true for you? Is this true for your experiences? You don't have to give too much away or anything but I'm leaving this on my blog as an open discussion.

I LOVE Mirabelle's dress. On a girly note, I love her accesorising in this movie and this dress shows her in her element, no accessories, I mean who's looking at that anyway, she looks simple and very sexy.


  1. I haven't had a chance to see this movie yet! I want to read the book first but it's never at the library!!!

    After reading that quote, you're right, it got me thinking! I have one friend in particular whom I crave all the time! We are very good friends, never being lovers. When I met him and we travelled cross country together, he was gay! In a relationship with another friend. After a few years he went back to women but he seems to choose volatile. Now though, he is married (to a woman), with children! He is still one of the best friends I have ever had and he gives the best hugs in the world! I am usually quite uncomfortable when it comes to being held. My own insecurities coupled with a lack of familial affection during childhood. But when he gives you a can feel it!!! He is all there and so are you! It's not even a sexual thing! I suppose it could be if you thought about it but...because of those hugs, I actually crave more because of the comfort and love and safety felt in mind, heart and body!!! One of my dreams is to be held by a lover like that but I have only experiences the other examples you mentioned and none of them are anywhere near my life anymore! I believe that quote to be true, based on my experiences only!

  2. Thank for you for sharing this..I sound like some robot..but I truly mean it. You inspire me to be open too..even more so haha, its okay to be open about the good stuff but the bad stuff too it's sometimes needed, I think.

    If i find a link to the book i will send it to you. I think Steve Martin said he was more of the Jeremy character than the older distant man he plays in the movie, he had this going on with a woman and ended up losing her unlike in the movie. Just a tid bit of information there. I hope I got my facts right though..still good story, eh?!

    I think it all depends on how you are as a person. I know from experience that you can be the most comfortable around a certain someone, but you have to be open too. I think I'm just that used to being tactile without getting very embarassed. It's funny because I enjoy sex, sexuality and I have too little shame to worry about rejection, it's more the fact I still get shy when a friend kisses me on the cheek or I can't even pat someone on the back properly without an oh doing it..but i didnt actually used to be like that in school, so maybe it's oddly to do with the bullying even though i was never really physically bullied.

    When I sleep, I like to have a closeness but I don't get too close, again because of this weird shyness at odds with the other side of me. But it depends, sometimes with someone it just clicks and it works and you never know, there are exceptions.

    I'm glad that you have had hugs that are genuine, as cliche as it sounds those really are the best things in life. Thank you so much for sharing. If you ever want to talk about this more or anything else, just go for it on here or privately.

  3. I believe a woman needs to be understood more than held. You need one man to stop for just 60 mins and to listen to his woman - really listen and really understand without sex or touching involved. A man who actually sits and listens, focussing totally on what I'm saying is sexier to me than anything else.

  4. That's is so completely true. Very well said. I completely agree with you.

    Yes, I wonder holding someone and not really understanding them..or listening even, hmm...

  5. I completely agree!!! The understanding, the listening and the heart (and motive) are very important factors! Without them the arms around you are just simply arms around you, there is no meaning to it. You would just be better off hugging yourself most times!

    I like being held in bed, with an arm around me cupping a breast cosily in his hand. But, unfortunately, I can't sleep like that! Oh well. I suppose I could learn!

  6. Oh THAT, the boob thing is SO what I love too! Oh gosh, I tell you, come Tuesday, the innuendos are just rolling around..