Tuesday, 4 May 2010


So remember when "everyone" was rooting for Halle Berry and that Gabriel guy? What are the bets the phrase they look good together was uttered? Sure, African American Halle who was a former beauty queen and is mega succesful and talented Oscar winning actress together with a Nordic type man who as I understand was younger than her and is a model, it would be an interesting combination of looks their offspring would inherit and an interesting fact of an older woman and younger man in a society obsessed with youth in women. In some ways it's also kind of opposites attract and that diversity is something people root for. Am I getting it right here?

I used to have romantic fantasies. In the books I read from 10 years ago to now, I see sensitivity as part of the appearance in a guy. I even wrote a little about it myself in Slowburn, describing Michael as having gentle but strong features. I wrote that very casually and I happened to have a crush on someone who looked like that, I didn't think the hero MUST look like that to be a hero.

The thing why do I get the feeling certain looks are associated with a Knight in Shining Armour (whether intentional or not) quality or even certain character traits?

I don't believe in cliches, and black and white. Just because Gabriel and Halle have seperated, I don't believe he's the insensitive, philandering, lazy, jerk, though he could well have any of these, er, things. Halle succesful and beautiful in her personality though she is, for all we know may have fidelity issues or committment issues or be violent. I'm throwing out possibilities, we don't know what goes on inside.

We all have things that are unfashionably flawed, maybe even "taboo" so there's absolutely no point in having images of handsome and the cliches that come from it, a tall man, strong, kind, the perfect father, etc etc, let's stop that.

I have more respect for Erotica that's more about the dialogue, interaction between the man and woman, an insight into their thoughts and feelings and less about man's appearance. Though I do have a weak spot for man and woman as in what makes a man a man and a woman a woman, masculinity, femininity, but it's not just about a man who's tall and tough, it's about a man who is tough period, fuck the height. When such a man gets together with a woman whose femininity isn't like the one sold to us in the media and is there in the classic ways, like her curves including the unfashionable ones or unfashionably little or large, it makes me appreciate the primal fucking raw power of attraction and sex.

People who say it's about making oneself feel better have just put their own prejudices in their statement. Yes Erotica is about power and being inspired and feeling good but I don't have time for stories that have bitterness and put downs in their descriptions and a woman SHOULD look this way, you know only "curvy women are real women," I don't believe in that and I don't believe in one standard of beauty. Of course there's a lot of Erotica and there may be some people who write like that and a reader who buys or likes that, but we are all different and no one reader I reckon is the same. Maybe as humans we all want the fundamentals, but lots of other things I believe vary.

Our ideas of beauty in men and women vary, but what if they changed?


  1. Exactly...and beautiful people are those who make me laugh and think. Beautiful men are those who keep trying to reach you each when you keep telling them how 'wrong' you are for them...they don't listen...thankfully.

  2. So, so true.

    Haha, I'd love one of those *smile*