Friday, 29 January 2010
So the other day, my hair was pissing me off. What's new? And you want to slap me for saying well it's this thick thing and so heavy and you're sitting there with fine hair. But I have always wanted fine, run your fingers through smooth hair. Mine is coarse-ish. And it's not even full of volume despite being thick; it just drags itself down..and that's with my hair being short. And you're thinking we tend to want what we don't have or the opposite of what we have- but it's not like that.
Jennifer Aniston has nice, thick hair, even in the first season of Friends, I have thick hair but it's sure not like hers.
I don't think I've ever had it longer than shoulder length. So when I hear about guys' turn on you know sexily pulling their woman's hair in the heat of the moment or ..my "favourite" .the fantasy of having it in a bun and when it's released, loose cascading waves fall on her shoulders and her hair brushing against his cock. How literature, movies, society, men and women have feminity and sexuality linked to hair....well, see no one put a gun to my hair and said cut! But I just had to do it and when I looked in the mirror with the hairdresser looking elegant and me looking shaggy, not even long and shaggy but short and shaggy, I just needed to have a change and not have this burden. I like to look neat, you know? Have things in order.
NOW I have hair that's too short and I suppose it's all sexy and pixie cut when you're Winona Ryder but otherwise, I can't even look at some people or watch porn (well that 's a lie) until it grows.
I know. And there are people dying out there. I have my limbs, my health (well probably not, I just don't go for check ups to see what diseases are hidden underneath- sexy eh) and I don't like the way my hair looks in the mirror. My face looks better, short hair has always suited my features....not so much my round jaw.. but I don't feel particularly sexy despite feeling sexy..if you know what I mean. And it's not because of society or men: I'm a freak of nature so the usual psychoanalysis doesn't apply to me and that's not just wishful thinking. You know, I'm used to having short hair, I've had it all my life and being overlooked (I'm overlooked because I'm not obviously sexy but the hair has never got the admiration other women get from other women- their age or from men). But I just don't feel sexy because of what I'm seeing in the mirror at the moment.
By the way do any men not already in love with a woman lust after her when she does not happen to have nice hair or not nice but the wild untameable hair people are always "cliche-ing" about? Serious question. I like to get to the truth of things. Then torture myself. No, joking, i think a lot and I freely put out the negative but I do like to know things. Just because.
I wanted to write a blog and talk about even crap stuff like this. It's not like I can't get into erotica because of this..I can ALWAYS get into erotica and sex no matter what (I boast, still it's true) but I just don't feel that fun at the moment because I look downright serious. And you're thinking so smile; just so you know not that many women seem to enjoy having random men telling them to fucking smile. We're not seals there to perform for your enjoyment, you know! (Though we do like it when you enjoy certain parts of us..or any part. Perhaps).
Now for any men reading this telling me how sexy hair is to them- leave it. I'm not in the mood, it's a sore point at the moment. (Can you tell). I have crushes on people regardless of hair, in fact some have had the worst hair ever, I even managed to find Ethan Hawke attractive in Before Sunrise ...know what I'm saying..so yeah, freedom of speech not allowed on this one..or just choose your words carefully! *SPANK*
And you're thinking, wear stuff that's feminine. I wear heels and nice colours in scarves as it is. And I'm not sticking a god damn clip in my hair or wearing a god damn pink skirt. *sticks out tongue* (You see a theme? Fridays are the worst; I'm in desperate need of some good spanking erotica). (Perhaps, a short haired heroine?..humph!).