And I'm telling you I won't stop caring

I was watching Dream Girls and you know, everyone knows the bit where Effie says And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going. Rather she doesn't say it. She doesn't just sing it. This is what they mean by powerhouse. Jennifer Hudson didn't just hit the notes, her whole body, her face was feeling her performance as Effie.





See I will always tune into this movie because of Effie. She is all about getting the most out of life and having to fight hard for it. And meeting prejudice upon prejudice upon prejudice along the way.





Complacency is responsible for prejudice.





Complacency is responsible for the fact that Susan Boyle received groans, eye rolls and cat calls when she walked on the stage of Britains Got Talent.





Why the FUCK hasn't someone done something about complacency?





Why the fuck do we now in 2009 have a few plus size models?





Someone said why should we care about Effie.





I care about Effie. Because if you have ever felt pain in your life you will care.





And I care about her more so because some of this pain has been due to other people's prejudices.





For a woman it's not merely weight. It's the face. It's the hair. It's the nose. It's the eyes. It's the mouth. It's body shape too.





See I am never going to fit the ideals.


Let me be competely honest. And I want to talk about this;


I don't have feline eyes. I won't have long hair. I don't have a nose that points down. I don't have a wide mouth. I don't have a streamlined face. And my body at any weight won't be that of a glamour or showgirl. It's just an ordinary body. I just have an ordinary face. Except I happen to love them both.





And then, height. Something of more importance in certain cultures than others. But no doubt any short woman will have to put up with prejudices about that too, even if you have the other prerequisites.

Of course if I mention race you may shoot me or at least roll your eyes. However, if I did have white skin I know that things would be ever so slightly easier.

So being the non exotic looking but non white person that I am, let me tell you for someone who wants to be on stage at some point in their life, when people either smirk at you, look you over or ignore you, it's an unsaid rule and at times an unspoken prejudice that you should stay in the background.

So I get Effie.




And I'm telling you I won't stop caring.





I'll always speak out. Today it's writing. Tomorrow it's youtube. One day it will be the stage.