Monday, 11 October 2010

I do so love it when thoughts are provoked.

"The pressure put on men to be initiators, yet avoid seeming creepy or aggressive leads to an unpleasant double bind. After all, the same gross cultural pressures that make women into objects force men into instigators; how many women do you know who proposed to their husbands? So how can a man express hi...s sexual needs without being tarred as a creep? After all, the point of promoting sex-positive attitudes is for everyone to be able to be open about their needs and desires, right?"

Unfortunately it's a big bummer that I can't read the whole article due to a tech hitch but this has been taken from literotica. I got an update from these people. I actually posted them a story but I don't think in the 5 years that have gone by it's been published on Lit. *throws rattle* Or it has and my username was something so casually perverted, I can't remember it and therefore searching for the story (the title being something very casually perverted) would be too much for me.

Now, there are some men, and I have seen this, who will look at young girls in a short skirts and just look, I have actually watched them looking and they continue to be on their little mission.

I'm not saying that as soon as we reach 18, hey it's okay, we're women, we know it all, pretty much this is a developing thing and there are girls who are mature for their age, genuinly not just putting on an act, but there is something in me that says, okay under 18 with a man say in his twenties even, a little creepy. That's probably the societal conditioning in me and yet I won't glare at such a couple and act all wronged for the whole of womankind, afterall individuals are indviduals.

"There she is; short skirt on nice legs, tight blouse and a pretty bra, "fuck me" heels and a smile. She's dancing around in the room, with a real wiggle.

She looks great.

But when a chap "rises to the bait" of this provocatively-dressed female, he can be accused of all manner of things unpleasant, sometimes in Court, and it is often quoted that what the female wears has nothing to do with it. He thinks she's giving "Come and get me" signals. She says "No it ain't".
This causes no end of confusion and has led to some weird trials in the UK."

If I were to put on a short skirt, tight blouse and wear a pretty bra and I did it just for me and with no intention of attracting male attention, just for argument's sake, it's incredibly naive of me to assume that no man wouldn't be just a bit more into me. Like it or not, intentional or not, you put your body on display in some sort of way and I mean that as a compliment and not as some grandma tut tutting, then you're going to get male attention to an extent. Men are going to want to look at you and thinking about you in sexual situations. They're probably going to want to feel you up sooner or later. Of course if a man just walks up to you and starts to pinch your arse, he is a creep. Why? There are boundaries.

Some men will say wearing a short skirt and a tight blouse means you should expect to be raped, as if you have comitted the crime whereas obviously it's only the man who has raped you who has comitted the crime.

There is a strong line and you know when that line has been crossed but a real creep doesn't care about that at any point. No remorse. No nothing.

Then, there's a desire from some women to have a man in their lives who is alpha and dominant. People say in fiction these men are heroes whereas in reality, they are creeps. But are they? I think about certain things I have read in fiction, and put myself in that situation, imagining it. I would feel the same as the heroine, angry. But in the story the man shows plenty of humanity, there is actually no rape. So, the men are alpha and dominant and their actions are left of center, not conventional but they are not creepy men.

It's become a thing to just call a man who eyes up a woman in a short skirt, oh "creep," "pervert." But you have to wonder when another man walks past the same woman, if he hasn't noticed as much of the woman's legs as the men beforehand.

There's also this thing of look but don't touch. I'm not big into sticking your tits in someone's face and then shoving em away and say uh uh uh. That's a total sex tease. That doesn't justify rape. Nothing justifies rape but in society, it seems we can have a naked woman on a magazine with gigantic boobs and sticking out her arse doggy style and it's okay to "express your sexuality" by reading a magazine, but that's all you should do? I'm also not big into saying ooh yeah I just sang a song called Hit Me Baby or Don't Cha (lol; sp!) and I feel so empowered.

There is a way to talk to women, not these mythical creatures as it turns out, but human beings also with a sex drive, also with wants, needs, different sides, personalities amomgst us, flesh and blood, feelings and thoughts, submissive, dominant or neither much, all of us are different, which does not require manipulation, an act of any sort.

I believe men and women SHOULD be honest about their sexuality though it's fucking hard to be so sometimes, and they can be if they develop a sense of humour but most of all have some manners. You don't have to feel like you're too nice for women. Just don't bother with the women and if it seems most women aren't into you, it's not your time. Write. Live. Do something but don't become bitter and start calling women bitches or sluts.

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