Sunday, 29 August 2010

I want to go into the wild, to be as real, down to earth, in touch with my raw side as much as I can possibly can be.

It's quite an odd sentence to write, this, but some books go directly into my blood stream. They go beyond love, and into fascination. I read Into The Wild on Friday on the way to see my Dom. I bought another book as well but it was Into The Wild that whilst had nothing to do with the purpose of my trip (even if you really analyse it you will find that some things can't be linked and explained so easily) that had that ..WOAH factor. It got to me bad. I've read it twice again since.

The harshness of nature, the force of nature, we've heard the terms and descriptions but this book really slams it home. I didn't know about the man in the books' journey, his name is the quite lovely sounding Chris McCandless, I found something out that shocked me. Of course it's not surpising but the JOURNEY..I have always admired people who march to the beat of their own drum. That's not about being a selfish fuck. It's about living your life the way you want and NEED as much as you can. It's very simple to type that but my God going after one thing requires so much inner strength when the time comes that really it's one of the hardest things you could do no matter how much you want and need it.

I'm not into imitation or escape. I just don't want to live my vanilla life, the life outside my submissive life, when I have been given chances, without really living it. I have decided in my spare time to get as much outdoors training as I can. It's again easy to type. It won't be easy to go through with. I know the obstacles. The lack of support from peers at the start, the money, the insomnia, heights, rocks...dare I say mountains. I want to go into the wild, one day like Chris but before then to be in nature, the thing that is real. I want to as down to earth as I can be, as in touch with my raw side as I can possibly be alive.

I don't want to be anyone else but I can really, deeply relate to Chris McCandless. Sometimes in books that go into my blood, that I love, adore, am fascinated by, I mostly do NOT relate to the people in them but Chris hit home.

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