Friday, 31 July 2009

Dear Diary


When I was younger I was excited. I didn't have my head in the clouds but I thought once I was out of that bubble, I would be the person I am inside.

I feel like the woman in the picture in one respect and in another, I feel she is where it's at.

I feel that by typing this I am being honest and I want to be true to myself.

All my expectations, all my hopes, all my dreams no longer exist..except I do.

I want no help. Unless it's a promise which I know can never be true, still I could even settle for a false one which could make me feel unburdened for 5 minutes.

This will always be here and I will go on, keep moving...I no longer ask when or why, I must just look for my own truth and things I love doing,

But I need an intervention I know that..though interventions don't happen to me.

And I'm a woman. I'm not a girl. It's one of the realities that I don't feel inside but they exist. Not that I don't want to be a woman. I don't want to be a girl. But there it is I'm a woman. It crept up on me, it just happened, numerically and physically.
Is it this which caused the problems to become...more? Not that I can control this or them.
(My problems are not the obvious ones).

I feel since a lot is out of control in the world around me that affects me directly, that I want to be in a position out of my control ..sexually.

Dear Diary, this is not rational, promise me that on the day when it's the worst, when the rain pours heavily and it's dark (I have this image in my head) and I am yet again in the same horrible position I am in over and over again, that it will be my last day or I have a new strength. Promise me I will see something, something simple even and you'll laugh when I say, a tree. Or metal. Something solid.

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

Nice Guy.

"Hi"

"Hi"

She walked in a little nervous he could tell. They all had something to drink at dinner and it made her normally pale skin become flushed and he was sure there was something different about her eyes too.

He stopped his actions for a moment and continued to take her in. She had black hair which in this season looked sort of brown, red, a round full face, her lips seemed almost permanently in some kind of small pout, her eyes were a deep dark brown and the less he looked at her body the better.

She stood a good foot shorter than him. Her legs which looked shapely and yet quite athletic went up to her round, full arse which he knew he just knew he would be able to cup with his hands. Hands that he would normally hate for being too big. And then her sweet slight belly and her soft, large breasts. She probably didnt realise that he found her arms so soft and ..adorable. Arms covered by her blouse but he could see her curves so clearly and her hands, small hands, the skin there darker than her slightly tan face. Hands that he dreamed about stroking his pale shaft.

She looked up at him slightly uncertainly. Maybe he made her nervous. He didnt often do that. He was the "nice guy" Yeah right. If only she knew his thoughts, his fantasies about her.

All through dinner he had to endure her sitting next to someone else. Once or twice before when he had managed to get a seat next to her, they only accompanied each other in silence. She would pass him the various plates and bowls of food and polite thank you's were exchanged and he would try and catch her eyes but she NEVER looked at him back. The only time she had done that was when they first met, he saw her come inside with a heavy bag and he offered to take it from her. She had said oh its okay thank you and smiled and they had a conversation. He asked her how her journey was and why she decided to come to this farm and she told him she wanted to do something different and he continued to fall in lust with her. He knew the first time he laid eyes on her even from a distance, she was compelling. He could not look away and he hadnt ever since. But she never stared back at him, she never got annoyed or reacted in any way. She was all politeness. With everyone. God, she treated him like everyone else!

And the more days that went past, the more he wanted to back her up against the wall, bury his face, his mousy scruffy brown hair against her body and kiss her soundly. Bury his tongue in her cunt. He wanted her so badly and he was sick of jerking off every night. He needed her submission, he needed it so bad.

"Kiss me" he heard. What? He looked at her. She was looking at him oh man she was looking at him. She stood not that close to him but he had long arms and so he managed to just touch her waist. She stood still and the whole thing, he was so crazy but the whole thing just made him so horny. He moaned and moved forward, his hand now hovering in the air near her waist, and lowered his face to hers. His eyes and hers still open, her eyes looked so dark and intent, and maybe it was just his imagination but he saw a shift as she stared into HIS eyes. It was as if she truly saw him and she had now been close enough to see the the pale blue of his eyes, nothing special because they were so pale, but the way she looked into them, it was in wonder.

His cock hurt, his chest hurt and he crushed his lips to hers. She gasped and now, only now, did the minx moved forward. He could feel her tits against his stomach, even though he was bent a fair way down, she was short enough to have her breasts not that far from his cock and all manner of wicked dirty thoughts rushed through his mind.

He thrust his tongue inside her mouth and after a second she welcomed it by stroking it with her own. That made him push her against the wall. She moaned loudly. Almost out of shock. "You didnt expect that did you?" His voice was low and gravelly and his mouth was still half in hers.

She hummed and softened agaisnt him.

"Answer me" He took advantage and broke free from her mouth to wetly kiss her neck. Kissing was fine but he needed in her. To fuck her soundly.

"Oh"

He couldnt care less for her answer, she was now his slut and his face was in her cleavage. She cradled her arms around his head as he kissed her half through her blouse. He didnt want to tear it so he reluctantly moved down to her stomach, kissing her there, softly because he knew he wasnt far from her pussy and he didnt want her coming so quickly. He did want her to enjoy him.

She was rubbing her jean covered mound against him almost wildly as he licked her through the denim. He could even now feel her lips. Fucking crazy, she was driving him crazy. He stilled her bottom with his hands and stroked her there. He was right. The full arse. Alll of it he managed to encompass with his hands and his fingers. It was a tight fit but he got it all. Then he yanked off her jeans, not caring to unbutton her and buried his face against her panties sucking her wet juices through them. "Ooh" she moaned and he heard her hand collide quite violently agaisnt the wall. He looked up though still keeping his lips on her cunt, he wanted to check she was okay.

She looked down at him and he just fell deeper. The way she was looking at him as though he was something precious, even though she was standing over him like that, he felt a tug at his heart. She shoved her pussy deeper against his lips which were open against it. Oh yum. she tasted so devine against the cloth that he pushed it aside and just delved in right then and there. She came against him with a loud uuuhhhh and he continued kissing and sucking her. Her hands were in his hair, messing it up, never pulling at it though.

As she came and came, he lapped up all of her, every last bit like the most delicious feast. And then he looked at her as she started to settle down, the most beautiful smile was upon her lips making him look again.

"What about you?" She spoke. His angel spoke. "You're still hard"

He smiled. He was and one day he would pound her breasts like the savage he really was but today, he just whispered "Nice guys finish last, you know." For some reason she found that funny and laughed and he soaked that up very gently lowering her to the ground against the wall, and both of them lying there in each others arms.



He was at breaking point just waiting for her to cover her body. She had closed her eyes and then woken up. Once she stood up there was no way he could bring her down and have his wicked way with her. And the things he wanted to do..But no she just got that determined look in her eye, kind of like that time he told her to straighten up a bit on the horse. She looked at him and then she sort of smiled with her eyes and did it. Straightend up. He felt his cock twitch and now just remembering that..what else would she do for him if he asked? Would there be an argument? Oh dear God do NOT cover your breasts. She didn't ..no she just put her top on.

"You're going braless?" He asked her.

She nodded her head yes at him. Why was she so quiet? Her breasts jiggled and he got up.

She was looking into his eyes as he was getting up. "Why? Why shouldnt I?" She asked him firmly but softly. She looked half prim school mistress, half slut.

"Because..it may encourage..people..to make out the light bits and the dark..and the way your nipples are sticking out now..You look positively wanton..like you want someone, anyone, to drag you to a wall and bury their head between your breasts through your top. Like your ..tits..are accesible to them at all times. It's just cotton. Anyone can suck you through it." He was half gasping. So was she.

"You're quite bad when you want to be" She moaned. She looked very flushed and there was a newly forming sheen of sweat on her face and no doubt between her cleavage too he thought.

"Around you." He grasped her bum and she gasped again, "I am. And I know how you love it."

"Maybe."

He quirked his eyebrow at her. Something he never did but he wanted to play baddie to her princess slut what ever the fuck term it was. He didn't care, he just wanted IN her again.
He groped her buttocks and she writhed in his hands. Could she come just by him groping and maybe spanking her arse whilst he sucked her breasts?

"I want you to beg."

"What?" He almost barked it. God she tempted him..

"I want you to beg" She repeated again, now her brown eyes were wild and her tits he noticed..oh God STRAINING straining so much.. "Beg to have my breasts in your mouth..to take them in your mouth. OOh." He now had one hand on her pussy, stroking it but not putting any fingers in. Difficult; she was SO wet!

He looked at her..not knowing if he knew at her at all..or if he knew himself.

"Please" He whispered. She blushed more if it were possible. "I want to suck you..please let me..PLEASE or I'll go mad" He knew he had a look of urgency on his face.

"Nno" She murmured. As "punishment" his fingers dug into her soft wetness. Those sweet white knickers of hers, well on one side, a sticky scrap of nonsense.

He bent his head down and tried to lick her..

Shit!

She moved away!

She took advantage of his displeasure and surprise and was out of his arms. She took off her jeans, previously resting on her (fucking sweet) ankles and her juices trickled down her leg.

He stared wide eyed.

She looked at him and started touching herself. Closing her hands over her breasts and moving her thighs against each other.

Let me do that sweetheart he thought, even in his desperate angry state he would still call her that.

She fondled and fondled and fondled. Her fingers pinching her sweet nipples. All this through her top. She was moaning gutterally.

She looked at his cock. He had fastened his jeans over but that material was stupid. It hurt. He pulled his jeans down and stroked his dick. He was only a step away from her ..but he NEEDED to come. He couldn't wait. She was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. Writhing against the wall, watching him, lips open, moaning so lowly and rubbing her boobs together. He stepped so that he was looming over her. She pulled her top up. Fuck. He stroked and stroked and stroked. Like a school boy in front of her. He was going to come on her, he bent down and jerked his dick. Once, twice and the cum went on her tits. She moaned LOUDLY "Oh yes." Maybe both of them said it he didnt know. She smashed her boobs together. She was going to..oh YEAH..she took one hand away and fucked her pussy. "Uhh" She moaned again, coming. As she came with her hand, he did with his, cum falling on her tits and some trickling on her soft belly.




"I get paid by the hour" He moaned as she kissed his chest. They were both half naked, different halves and he was getting aroused yet again.

"Perfect. I always wanted to try the 69."

He almost choked. She looked at him smiling whilst he could feel himself blushing.

"I.." What could one say to that?

She broke away looking at his face and half covered chest. She took every scrap of garment off her body and kept her eyes on his. He watched her and then took his own shirt off, then stepped out of his jeans.

He saw her aroused. Her breasts looked full, heavy, her nipples hard and ripe, brown and pink. He ran his hand over his face wiping the sweat. Moving forward, he knelt on the ground and then sat down. She followed. Now they were both sitting opposite each other. Because he couldnt resist, he leaned forward and took her mouth passionately. It was posession.

She ran her arms all over his body and even touched his cock. When she was about to stroke it, he said "Now ..or I wont be able to hold it." He could see she liked his desperate state.

Lying down, he watched her climb on top of him though not facing him. He got a good view of her ass and her even her front because it was just right there and ..open. She took a minute to get it right, with each leg on either side of his arms. He itched to stroke her calves. She then kneeled forward with her legs now longer crouched but flat, knees down on the ground and he felt her glorious boobs brush just above his penis.

She felt it too and he could see her arousal. Her wet juices..he could not wait. Finally he got his lips on her pussy. He stuck his tongue inside and she moaned. She writhed a little and postioned his cock in between her breasts. She rubbed his penis in between and he could feel himself cum a little on her nipples. "Oh yeah" She moaned. He stopped watching her tease him and went back to her juicy pussy. He never really stopped licking it, even when his eyes were on her tits. It was his total obsession to eat her out. As he did so, he felt lips, Beautiful pouty lips take in the head of his large aroused penis.

She massaged his cock with her hands, his body half supporting hers so she didnt need to do so herself and she gave it her all. Stroking, licking, massaging, fondling, kissing, "Oh God" He moaned into her pussy. He felt her hum. She was so so wet now.

He stuck his face in her, and slapped her butt. She was moving it on his face and he was in heaven just eating her out completely, starving that he was.

When he felt her whole mouth, he must have gotten her real good because she gushed heavily into his face. He licked and lapped up everything as he jerked wildly up and down into her mouth. It was his reaction to her now deep throating him.

She continued to come and he was sweating and tensing trying to hold out the bliss of being in her mouth and throat whilst listening and feeling her beautiful moans and licking her arousal all over.

Oh fuck. She was really going for it, making noises with her mouth also, now he could hear them as she had finished coming in his mouth, he slapped an ass cheek again. "Uhm" She moved forward and he had to look. She looked like a total slut. With her big round boobs on his body and her head bobbing frantically and making noises, gagging but it was too good. He slapped her again. "Fuck Im coming you slut" He moaned unable to stop his words as he came gushing and exploding in her mouth, she made oohing sounds and lovingly sucked him throughout.



“Are you comfortable?” He asked her lowly. He was exhausted but it was the best kind of exhaustion. And she was in his arms.

She nodded against him. He didn’t realise until now, she had placed one leg over his. If his eyes could take pictures, they ought to take this one.

“I’ve never slept with anyone before” It was quiet. But he heard it.

Then, he wanted to ask something but as he opened his mouth he felt her breath on his shoulder. She was asleep. It was best that he didn’t ask questions when they were this tired anyway.

All that mattered was that she was here with him now.



He missed her as soon as he woke up. He had a small feeling that she wasn’t there but strangely enough he could feel something in his arms. In his silly dreams, he was wrong.

There was a note lying next to him, in her place. Her place. Don’t dwell, he thought.

Steven, I kissed you before I left. It was soft and you were so tired. I couldn’t wake you. I will always remember tonight vividly, no matter what happens next. I wish I could help you with the stable but I know I won’t be able to, So, I’ll see you at breakfast, Thank you, Yours.

He held the paper as if looking at her. “Tell me..are you made for me?” He murmured. He couldn’t wait till breakfast...but there was work to be done and now he had some evidence that good things came to those who waited and didn’t rush in. He was no fool.

(to be continued)

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Convincing Maggie



..Her Submissive Education by BJ Wayne




This book is intense. It's an ebook available from pink flamingo publications. Now Maggie is a heroine with insecurities..isn't it fucking horrible how so many of us humans have insecurities with regards to our appearance and she is dating this absolute loser. The loser has a friend called Bryce and he and Maggie are attracted to another. Bryce is absolutely head over heels in love with our Maggie. THAT is what makes this book so special. Every single action of his is out of his unconditional and very powerful love for her.


I don't really care much for political correctness when it comes to sex. You know, don't bother justifying spanking and throwing in the word empowering..I can see your argument but I just don't need it. I love spanking. I love reading about it. I would love to be spanked.

Anyway I'll leave you with something from this intense and very erotic book which has been very rightly tagged as exceptional.
Until next time,


I remain yours very kinkily baby,


"Between Maggie's Thighs" (ooh it seems the excerpt itself has a title) "by BJ Wane, spanking and sex, Bryce gets quite a show as he watches his friend Jason punish and fuck his luscious girlfriend.

Copyright (c) 2006, All rights reserved

Bryce heard the distinct sound of the snap of leather on bare flesh before he reached the open door to Jason’s office. Even with that forewarning, he was unprepared for his first glimpse of Maggie’s naked ass bent over Jason’s desk. It was a sight he had longed to see for months now, ever since Jason had introduced him to Maggie, his current girlfriend. Her rapidly reddening buttocks were round and soft, the flesh beginning to redden as Jason applied another blow across those fleshy mounds. Her long, full skirt was thrown over her back; her panties pulled to mid thigh. Her legs were spread only as far as her panties would allow, leaving her anus protected between her buttocks but affording him a small view of her pink slit glistening with her juices. The sight of her wet arousal told him what he needed to know-that she was enjoying every lash from Jason’s belt; the pain was turning her on as much as her strapping was turning on both him and his best friend.

“Why do you do this?” Jason asked before raising his arm and landing a hard blow on the undercurve of Maggie’s ass. “You’ve gained at least five pounds. I don’t know why I keep your fat ass around.”

“Please, Jason,” Maggie cried out as he laid the belt across the middle of her ass again, causing her to jump at the fiery heat. It was mortifying the way she couldn’t help but lift her aching buttocks for more, the way his tormenting abuse turned her on. “I haven’t gained any weight, I promise!”

“Bull shit, Maggie!” The belt landed again and again, turning her buttocks a bright, fiery red. “You’re so big now you don’t even notice anymore. You’re lucky to have me, aren’t you? After all, who else would want an overweight spinster school teacher such as you?”

Bryce’s brows drew together in a fierce frown. He hated the way Jason belittled Maggie and couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he did it. While Maggie was definitely a full figured woman, she was far from overweight. Just because she wasn’t five foot eight and model thin, Jason constantly put her down for her rounder, softer build. At five foot four, Maggie had large, full breasts that were currently flattened beneath her as she lay across the desk, and full, round buttocks that he itched to feel under his hand. At six foot one, Bryce was a big, hard man, and Maggie’s womanly softness appealed to him immensely. He ached to feel her soft, round thighs wrapped around his waist, her round belly filmed with sweat, slapping against his rock hard abdomen as her hips rose to meet the hard thrusts of his cock as he fucked her.
Maggie cried out as Jason laid the belt across her quivering flesh again before catching sight of Bryce lounging in the doorway. Jason and Bryce exchanged a knowing look, agreeing silently not to let Maggie know Bryce was watching her ordeal. Friends since childhood, the two of them had shared everything over the years. As grown men in their late thirties, they had had their share of women, several of whom they had shared experiences with. In the six months Jason had been seeing Maggie; however, he hadn’t once mentioned sharing her with Bryce, much to Bryce’s disappointment. He had been holding out hope that Maggie would dump Jason because of his demeaning treatment of her, but she continued to take his verbal abuse as if she deserved every disparaging word.
As Jason dropped the belt and released his hard cock, Bryce longed to do the same to his engorged dick as much as he longed to show Maggie what an attractive, sensuously desirable woman she really was. He sensed depths in Maggie that hadn’t come anywhere near to being tapped, even with Jason’s dominant influence. Bryce longed to dominate her sexually, but in a way that brought out her sexuality, not suppressed it. With the right guidance and tutoring, she would blossom beautifully into a woman who was confident not only of herself but of all the hidden nuances of her desires.

“Spread your legs further,” Jason ordered Maggie, his hand gripping his cock.

Maggie spread her thighs farther apart, hearing the thin material of her panties ripping. Jason reached down and tore them from her thighs, tossing the silk scrap on the floor. Maggie needed to feel his cock in her cunt so bad she didn’t bemoan the loss of the expensive pair of underwear. Her ass was on fire, the heat spreading to her cunt, causing her juices to run down her thighs.
Jason reached between her spread thighs, his fingers separating her lips and soaking up her moisture. “Damn, woman, you’re sopping,” he groaned as he sank two fingers deep into her pulsing cunt. “You really liked your whipping, didn’t you?”

Embarrassed at the tell tale proof of her desire, Maggie could only nod her head and bury her face in her hands. Even after six months, she was still uncomfortable with how much his spankings turned her on. Nearing thirty, she wasn’t a virgin when she first met Jason, but damn near. His overbearing, dominant tendencies were what she had been looking for her whole life. Knowing she was only passably attractive and heavy to boot, made her willing to overlook his degrading insults.

Jason grabbed her sore buttocks and thrust his hard cock into her seeping cunt. “Yes!” she cried out, thinking this was why she put up with him, even though her friends said he was an asshole, and she deserved better. She needed his hard possession and his control, something she knew she couldn’t get from just any man.
Bryce watched as Jason drove his cock deep into Maggie’s cunt. Her wider stance afforded him a good view of her pink, damp folds and a glimpse of her tight puckered anus. How he longed to join Jason in fucking her, sending her over the edge and giving her the ultimate in female satisfaction. The sound of Jason’s cock pounding into her damn near sent him over the edge. He could feel the seepage of his pre-come leaking into his jeans, and he was afraid he was going to cream his pants like some callused youth. God help him, he’d never wanted a woman like he did Maggie. She still had no idea he was standing there watching as she thrust her hips back against Jason’s plundering cock, and as her pussy sucked him dry. Just as she didn’t know he was her late night caller, her phone buddy, that she could, and did, tell everything.

“Come on, Maggie, give it to me!” Jason ordered as he rammed into her tight sheath again and again. “I’m not going to wait much longer.”

Maggie needed no further encouragement. Reaching down, she fingered her aching, swollen clit, crying out as the orgasm burst upon her, rocking her senses, drenching her in sweat and pleasure. She didn’t even feel Jason come, her own release was so intense, so consuming. Her fingers continued to caress her slippery folds as Jason withdrew from her pulsing sheath. Catching her breath, she lifted from the desk, her skirt falling down around her as she turned.
“Hey, Maggie,” Bryce said softly as her beautiful amber eyes widened in shock before filling with unshed, humiliated tears. Bryce got a quick look at her naked, unbound breasts before she quickly pulled her bra over them and hooked the front clasp. They were magnificent, with large, still pointed nipples that he ached to feel in his mouth.

Jerking her blouse closed, Maggie rounded on Jason in righteous, shameful anger. “How could you?” she demanded thickly.

“Relax, Maggie,” Jason replied easily as he bent to retrieve his belt and loop it back through his pants. “I’ve told you often enough that Bryce and I have few restrictions from each other.”
“I thought you’d at least let me know when you were going to have him present and give me a choice in the matter,” she snapped.

“Whatever made you think that?” he asked coolly. “You have no choices in this relationship, and if you don’t like it, there’s the door. Besides, it’s not as if you’re his type. Men generally don’t go for the frumpy, overweight type.”

“Jason,” Bryce began angrily as he saw Maggie’s face pale and then redden beneath the insult. Before he could disabuse both of them of Jason’s assumption, Maggie turned and fled past him, her long, curly red hair flying out behind her. Rounding on his best friend, he demanded angrily, “Why the fuck do you treat her that way?”

Sighing in remorse, Jason watched her running down the hall until she disappeared around the corner. “Hell if I know, but why do you care? She’s just another piece of ass in a long line of them.” Jason didn’t want to admit to himself, let alone Bryce, that Maggie scared the shit out of him. Her shy, sweet demeanor coupled with her innate sexuality was a lethal combination, and his only defense against it was to constantly remind her, and himself, of what he perceived as her shortcomings.

“She’s a nice kid and deserves better than you. What makes you think she’s not my type?”

Jason glanced at him in surprise. “I know you like her, but hell, Bryce, she’s not anything like what you usually parade on your arm. Tall, leggy, and thin does not describe Maggie in the least.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t find her attractive. As a matter of fact, I do. Immensely. While you were fucking her, all I could think of was joining you. She’s got a fine looking ass, buddy.”

“Come on, let’s go,” Jason said irritably. “We can discuss fucking Maggie at the club. I need a drink.”

Bryce smiled knowingly, “Is that jealousy I hear?”

“Not hardly,” Jason replied dryly. No, he had no strong feelings for Maggie. He wasn’t even sure why he kept her around. She definitely wasn’t his usual type. But now that he knew Bryce had the hots for her, he’d have to see what he could do to give his friend a little time between Maggie’s thighs.
Bryce started to follow Jason out of the office when he spotted the scrap of black satin panties still lying discarded on the floor. Picking them up, he noted the white stain on the crotch, evidence still of Maggie’s arousal. Even though the panties were ruined, he slipped them in his pocket, his cock twitching at just the thought of them being in there."



quote from another erotica author
Sex isn’t rational, nor is pleasure, or desire or sensation. But it breathes with life and that is its virtue. It defies all measures to make it noble or moral. Sensation cannot be contained so easily. It has its own will—truly a mind of its own, if it has a mind at all. Pleasure is a formless thing, something subjective. It seems illusory, but you know it when you feel it... then it is very real, the most alive, real thing there is. Sophie & Maureen by Lizbeth Dusseau










Saturday, 25 July 2009

Dear Sir, I'm Yours by Joely Sue Burkhart


"Dear Dr. Connagher:

A simple letter probably isn’t the best way to tell you all of this, but I need to write this out as much for myself, as for you. If we talked on the phone, I don’t think I could get it all out—fear, longing, turmoil, and most of all, the agony. Every moment I’m not there with you is torture.

If I’d met you this past Friday night as we agreed, I couldn’t have sat there on our first real date and told you the truth. It’s not that you’d intimidate me, or scare me, exactly. It’s me. I lose my will when I’m with you.

I’d do anything to be with you, which scares me to death.

So this really is for the best. I know it. But it doesn’t make it any easier.

Daddy was in an accident Friday afternoon at his jobsite and nearly died. I’ve spent the last few days at the hospital, waiting with my family to see if he’ll live, how badly he’ll be handicapped. He’s never going to be the same, and he’ll have years of physical therapy and doctor’s visits. I need to stay here. I need to help Mom, try to find a way to pay his medical bills, and save his business. I don’t know when, if ever, I’ll be returning to Drury University. Finishing my degree is the last thing on my mind right now, even though I only have a few semesters left.

Every single word of that is true. However, it’s also true that I didn’t have my car loaded to come back to campus before the accident. I hadn’t decided to come back to you.

Self-preservation, Conn. I have to protect myself. When I’m with you, I want what you want. I don’t even know what I want. You hurt me in your office. You embarrassed me. And yet you made me feel incredible, too. You made me want you to hurt me. How messed up is that?

Yet I lie awake at night remembering, and it’s all I can do not to jump in my car and drive straight to you.

I know you’ll never read this. You hate e-mail. It would be better to mail it to your office. But what if someone read it by accident? True, again, but it’s also true that maybe deep down in my dark, scary place only you’ve seen, I really don’t want you to read this at all.

~ Rae"


Beautiful writing. This e book is available from Samhain Publishing and the beauty of it shines through, I particularly liked this paragraph below.

"..But if you want vanilla missionary then I'll do that too just as wildly and passionately over and over as many times as you'll let me. Because it's you beneath me Rae, I love you. I want to please you in every way you desire and half a million you havent thought of yet. I'll give you exactly what you need, every single time."

Friday, 24 July 2009

Antichrist..starring Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg and directed by Lars Von Trier.


"A couple lose their young son when he falls out the window while they have sex in the other room. The mother's grief consigns her to hospital, but her therapist husband brings her home intent on treating her depression himself. To confront her fears they go to stay at their remote cabin in the woods, "Eden", where something untold happened the previous summer. Told in four chapters with a prologue and epilogue, the film details acts of lustful cruelty as the man and woman unfold the darker side of nature outside and within."

Ok some good themes there. I'm salivating already.

And those pictures especially the close up of Dafoe's cheekbones as he fucks his woman in the shower have me horny.

I hear the movie is misogynistic and quite crap really.

Well that's a shame, it could have been brilliant ..hey maybe it is.
And pretentious? That word is thrown around. Indulgent? Who cares. I'm in.

One idea that also has me is the woman having sex whilst her child is shown dying. Now I'm not pro death but what I like about that is that it's animal. Pure animal. Raw. Nonsense.

And going with random blabberings about animals, I like provocation. Sexually speaking; only. I like to be pushed. I like nice boys who are complete bastards in bed.

There's also a vulnerability there.

Dirty, low, nonsense, unpolitcally correct sex please.

If you can't abandon all rules and go crazy during sex, when can you?

So I'll be catching this little Antichrist online..where the scent of some lonely sad old man's sex in the cinema room isn't putting me off from touching myself,
yrs Kinkily

















Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Those Two.

I waited to see if they were still there. They were always talking to each other, deep in conversation. I wanted in.

One was in his twenties I would say, quite tall, brown hair, contrast to his eyes, milky skin, lips that were noticeable. He wasn’t a pretty boy though. He'd come in bag on his wide shoulders, sweatshirt over his stained soccer kit that he wore. Until his friend arrived, not a peep was to be heard out of him. He even opened the door quietly. Sat down quietly.

His friend, probably similar age, taller, darker hair, leaner build, t-shirt, jeans, made more of an entrance though not showy. He'd come in, long confident strides towards his friend, buzzing it would seem and they'd fall into a conversation of whispers.

I KNOW they weren’t talking about work, or the books and leaflets they had open.I decided today that I would take the plunge and approach them.

I didn't care if I was made a laughing stock. I was just so horny to be honest.

"Hi" my voice came out kind of breathy and I silently thanked God. I straightened my posture, stuck my boobs out and looked them both over, I didn’t care if that looked foolish, "Mind if I sit?"

The taller one looked me over and I kept my gaze in between them both. His friend moved the books to one side, "Sure" his friend said.

I hated the taller one but I sat in between them anyway. Just to annoy. And when I sat down, I almost moaned because I was quite wet already.I fiddled with my short hair and through the corner of my eye I noticed them both looking at me.

I knew at least I had the attention of the NICE guy.

I confirmed by crossing my legs and leaning back, slowly running my eyes across his milky hand, up his arm and then into his blue, blue eyes. I felt him gasp. Just as my gaze drew closer to his lips, I heard the one on my left move his chair. I glanced over. He was really looking at me now. That’s better. I smirked ahead.

I let my hand reach over, and my long, red fingernails scrape the side of his cock through his jeans. I could feel him jerk. I moved my hand now stroking him through his jeans, he was so hard. I didn’t bother looking in his direction.

His friend, the nice one, leaned over and placed his mouth over my tits. I have always been incredibly sensitive in that area. I have large breasts, that felt as though they could burst through my top. His lips moved over the side, on top, through my top. I leaned back but at the same time kept my right hand on his friend's jeans covered cock. When I felt lips wrap around my left nipple, I moaned at the same time as the young man whose cock I was stroking. I writhed leaning back in my chair purring like a horny slut.

I didn’t care who was looking at me.

I was beyond anything at this point. I leaned on the ground, taking my tits out of the other guy's mouth and took out the cock I was fiddling with and gave him a blow job. Blunt. But I needed his big dick inside my mouth. I felt the other guy , nice guy, go down on me, his lips licking and sucking my wet pussy. I guess at some point he must have taken my jeans and thong off.

I kept sucking the taller guy’s cock, up, down, right at the back of my mouth, in my throat, porn stars had nothing on me. I knew he loved it because he was growling a little. Mmm it was soo hot and I was gonna come any minute the way the guy behind was eating me out. Fuck. I shaked my arse knowing I was very near. Ohh. The guy behind slapped me hard. I hadn’t expected this sort of behaviour from him. Oh yes I was wriggling myself very much now. My boobs smashed against the one in front’s jeans, their sides must have been poking out. I stuck them on his knees. I really need sucking badly.“Come in her" The guy in front of me said. "Come on.” He whispered. I couldn’t wait...

I attempted to beg, gagging on his dick.I heard a zipper tear but the guy behind didn’t enter my pussy, he entered my arse hole. Shit. But then he was moving and it was ok. He soothed my buttocks with his hands, I felt like he wanted to ask if I was fine. I was now. He moved faster and was fucking me actually fucking me like a savage! So good. I felt soo hot. I'm such a dirty slut baby.I looked at the guy in front, straight ahead in his brown eyes. The guy behind had lifted my body up a bit and so I tried to stick my boobs out which were incredibly heavy to tempt the guy in front. I couldn’t resist, I pinched a nipple. Shit. I almost fell over. And got a hard smack! as a result from the guy behind. Oh alright, my shoulders would have to make do I guess. I tried mashing and moulding my tits against each side of each arm of mine. “Fuck” the one in front moaned. Yes I’m really getting to him, he was going crazy.Uh I could feel he was so so close, In fact he was close ages ago but he was trying his best to draw it out. Best job of his life, I don’t blame him. Sorry but it's true.He growled and took his cock out of my mouth. Ohh shit, he stuck it between my tits. He used his hands to work my tits over his cock. Ohh that felt wonderful. Like he was sucking them but dirtier, better. He mashed them all over his long thick penis and his balls touching my softest parts. Mmm I wished my hands could be free I would have had him suck me whilst I took him back in mouth. Oh fuck, fuck I was going to come, the guy behind me was going wild, I knew he wanted to come so bad. “You two I cant take it anymore” I groaned., “Come.” They did. One deep in my arse, my body used, my pussy feeling neglected and tingly and his cum dripping out of my back hole. The other, on my tits and my throat and chin.


Im trying to think what it is that I want from those 2. I thought I wanted some sort of relationship. Well not after that encounter. Do I want to have sex with them again? Not sure. Leaning on the yes, only because I want to have sex again. I would like to see them again though. I'd like to see them watching me masturbate for them. No, for myself. But they want IT.

Maybe fucking another guy. Or making love to a woman. Its kind of a departure for me. Ive always liked nice people and from friendship and good company develops something more. Or maybe love at first sight. Romeo and Juliet have a lot to answer for. But thats not what keeps me awake at night if Im honest. I NEED. I WANT. I need to fuck. I want to be fucked. Taken. Used. And tease, oh boy do I WANT to tease. Act like the unavailable dirty slut. And this is normally unlike me. Though I am fond of the acting unavailable bit, yes I do like that thought.I want to touch myself as I remember our encounter.

The more I feel my pussy agaisnt my jeans, the more Im ready to come. I remember getting up off the floor, the guy in front of me zipping his pants up. He looked at me and I looked at him. The other guy behind, I kissed him straight on the lips. He was sweet. I walked away. I could feel them staring at me so I made sure my hips swayed more, my bum appear more pert. I had a grin on my face because I had just smeared the cum he shot all over me into my tits. Onto my neck, like perfume. I smelt so dirty and wonderful. I hadnt bothered wiping off much of the last remaining drops. I didnt care who saw me. This was my shedding my old self and saying fuck you to the world. After all, this is all I ever wanted. To be an animal. To be some force. huh! That sounds pompus. But can you imagine, I just had sex with two guys, who had quite a reputation at work for being very professional, well at last quite serious. And there they were losing it over a curvy little slut like me.

I walk into the bathroom and shut the door. I lean against the wall. I think I could have been fucked 20 different ways and my tits would still be heavy and bursting out my top. I lift my top over them, teasing my nipples and taking them in between my finger tips. cupping my breasts, loving them with my hands. And then my other hand going to my aroused pussy. I stick it under my jeans, my thong is torn anyway, soaked up the previous cum. I shaved, have been shaving and it feels even more sensitive. I stick one large melon breast up to my mouth and lick it. Almost there. This time i got my nipple. God that feels so good. Ooh. Sht i think i need a cock in me again. Two men, one fucking my pussy and another my arse hole. Or maybe just one man.. But i also need a good titty fuck. Mmm i get my other tit in my mouth. My tongue swiping the nipple. Yeah please.I writhe against the wall, my arse rubbing against it and..( maybe longer next time if you know what I mean)


I walked into his room. The taller one's. I needed to take the edge off.“Come in” He looked me over.I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic by me not knocking on his door. I couldn’t care about nice and polite around him.“I heard you caused quite a scene”

We weren’t looking at each other when he said this, I was touching his books on his desk. Neatly placed but well worn.“Mm” Was all I managed. I turned around to face him. I looked at him as I remembered the scene earlier when I started an argument with two colleagues over nothing. So?

He was looking at me and now got off his chair, walking towards me where I leant against his desk.Very very close to me, leaning forward he whispered “Bitch” in my ear.I was breathing very heavily by him being so close maybe. I didn’t know until I looked down and saw my button open. His teeth scraped over that as he had to lean down considerably, my cotton blouse not hiding my boobs, I didn’t care what anyone else had thought. I didn’t bother with a bra though I needed one.

Using his teeth, he opened the button below and the one below that. I felt a scrape of teeth against my nipple. Both my breasts were exposed to his mouth. He spent his time sucking my breasts, alternating between each one, getting both nipples nice and wet, suckling them, using teeth, mashing half of breasts with his lips, growling and groaning, not caring about me as I half near toppled over. I couldn’t place my hands on his head, run my fingers through his dark brown hair, he didn’t care, my breasts were covered with his saliva, nipples plopping from his mouth now red, hard as glass, swollen.“Uh!” He slapped my pussy. Oh please..I needed him to spank my arse. He looked me in the eyes, his mouth leaving my breasts now very very heavy and feeling unbearably round and soft.

He roughly turned me around, I almost fell over the desk, it didn’t stop him, SLAP!. "Ohh" I wiggled..he growled..SLAP he got the other arse cheek..”Still” growled roughly..”ohh” I just needed more..he spanked me in earnest now, alternating between each cheek and both of us groaning and moaning loudly. Was the door even closed?“Yyou make me crazy” Fuck he stuttered. He never does that. “I need your tits again." Oh..He was rubbing his trouser covered crotch over the back of me, “sit on me” His voice was very rough.Very awkwardly, he took me to the ground with him. He was on the floor and I on top of him. I was a grown woman on top of him. It was ridiculous and yet we were so horny..like animals..

I clumsily moved my way up to his face, my pussy now being eaten. He made lewd lewd noises. “Oh James” I soothed, running my hands over his chest. His hands mashing and squeezing my boobs.I knocked back and forwards against his face, I’m glad I didn’t wear panties and wore a skirt though not short, still “ohh FUCK!” He groaned loudly. He now pushed me away, almost off him. And he got up, taking me with him though he was actually shoving me against the wall the other end of the room. We slammed against it. He half lifted me around him, “all in” He smoothed my hair away with his own and looked me straight in the eyes as he fucked me and fucked me.“Slut” he moaned eyes never leaving mine, we fucked like animals. I was writhing and my breasts were being shoved against the front of him and occasionally he would suck them but oh man! “I’m in charge” he ordered.“Yyeah” He was.Oh fuck! We came together! We both milked very last drop out of each other and then he withdrew.

I collapsed against the wall.He shakingly and breathing like a mad man, fell onto his chair. He leaned back, brushing his now sweaty short hair away from his face, his cheeks very flushed, and looked at me almost upside down.“Next time, you deicide whether you want him AND me” He whispered. I couldn’t place his voice. He sounded peculiar…and his eyes looked a bit ..cold though they were brown like mine and it was odd considering what we had just been through.Was he jealous?I wish I could be one of those frail little bitches who men love to help. Not because I want men who love to help but because right now, inside I was frail. Outside, I know I looked the opposite. I wanted my pain to be pretty and whimpering. But it wasn't. I felt tears run down my sweaty cheeks. I got up off the ground, with my clothes stuck around me, butt sticking out, hands with carpet marks and all this whilst he watched, giving nothing away. A-hole.I felt a surge of stubborness, as if i would rearrange my clothes; fk you.

"Walking away?"

What?He had his glasses on and his head in his hands. I hated and "loved" the tormented look he had. He was massaging his head with his fingers. Not that long. I always thought his fingers long like his frame but they weren't. It made my heart make a weird beat."Next time I choose him" I said as I pinned him a look, making sure I took my time to leave his room. Especially in my slutty state.He didnt have a response for that but I noticed he slowed with the fingers, almost stopping.I didnt expect he would come running after me because I had no expectations but the fact he didnt, made my freedom bittersweet. I was free to fuck who I wanted. But whom exactly did I want to fuck?

This afternoon was intense. This morning in the library was HOT. Those two, one in my arse, one in my pussy, I could take it again. Taking care of myself afterwards, making myself come in the bathroom toilets was a small release but what we just went through now..i never felt a cock rammed that tight in me, like we were one.I wondered if this was the pitiful womans state. Developing feelings after the screw. If his friend joined us, I would have had feelings for them both. His friend was nice, cute..Why cant you come after me? I thought. Just make that gesture. And I still felt horny. I was wiped out but I needed fucking again. What about coming between my tits? What about ramming hard from behind? What about another blow job..God baby I love your cock, the fact it was his, the fact he was someone who rarely spoke but had every one hanging on his every word, the opposite of me, succesful, fucking bastard we didnt use a condom.I could imagine being pregnant with his child. I would love him suck the milk out of my breasts. Spanking my now fat butt, it jiggling as he entered me, my face in our bed, with our child still in me, using me, tying me..I almost fell over as I saw some people approaching. I didnt even have the urge to cover up and I stared at them, looking them straight in the eye and all over too as they were me.I'm fucking his colleague in front of him next time I thought. Because if he wasnt jealous I would make him so. Just for laughs.


I woke up, my head heavy. For some reason I dreamt of him. The one I fucked yesterday. So what better way to get him out of my system than fuck the other one today. Even though I was exhausted, I could stil find the energy to cackle. And its not like fucking the other guy ...or have him fuck me.. would be a chore. I thought of his broad chest, innocent eyes and hard dick.Getting ready wasn't a chore anymore. Not that I wore clothes to seduce before, no matter what I wore, my breasts always jiggled too much or my bottom looked too round, i wasnt fat so I didnt think I needed to bother with control garments no matter how much the slender girls turned their noses up at me. And my figure was always soft, accessible and oh so un lithe. I thought of going braless and knickerless, just wearing jeans and a tshirt. And guess what, I did.Walking out, I felt free. I knew where he was. I would go find him straight away. If he was having breakfast, I'd let him eat it off me. What did I care about properiety?

MMm he WAS in his office. I enjoyed looking at him. He was the prettier of the two, well the more gentle looking. If he talked more, he'd have floods of women all over him. But he was so..unassuming. And non aggresive. Well ..maybe not. I knocked."Hey." He actually smiled at me. Some how that small thing made me want to giggle. So I did."Can I come in?" I was being polite, maybe a bit on purpose. Oh I don't know..I found that sometimes I wanted to put on a slight voice and act just a bit shy and helpless. "Yeah" He said softly. He looked fucking amazing today. The light caught on his mousy brown hair, something Ive always been a fan of, and made me almost trip. "Are you alright?" He asked.

"Y..No..No I dont think I am. " I whispered. Fuck I sounded like a little girl.There was a table near the window like in the other one's room. This guy didnt have any books there though. So I leant against his desk and stuck my chest out. I pouted just a little.He got up and walked towards me. He kissed me on the lips very gently. It was just a soft slight movement of his flesh and I went wild and writhed beneath him. He was leaning over me. Looking me in the eye, he unbuttoned my jeans and .."Oh God." He moaned as he saw me bare.I could tell he wanted to..oh but no maybe he would suck my clit another time.."I'm going to fuck you hard." It was a soft voice.

"Please" I whispered.I thought I would need to suck his dick or something but as he took his trousers off and shucked away his boxers, he was fucking beautiful already."Get it in me" I moaned.He did, gradually at first both of us crying out. And then..yes..oh YES...it was SO good..he kept moving in me and i leaned further back but he had his hands on my arse and then switched to my legs lifting them up. I was surprised at his strength though now I could see his thick arms. His biceps showed."Oh more ..more" I crooned

"Fucking my whore are you?" Oh my god it was the other guy, James. I shifted against..oh fuck i didnt even know his name...James was more talkative so everyone knew him but this one..Was it just me or were James' eyes a little red? Fucking hell, what a stupid notion.."AAH more please.. please" I moaned to the other guy. He began moving in me again and I saw yes he was excited by this too. Me being fucked without abandon, just taking me in front of someone anyone it would be a crowd...or maybe it had to be James...".OH!!"As I was being fucked, my legs in the air, I saw James watch, stroking his dick beneath his trousers. "Mmm" The sound came from me. He walked closer and closer, and then he wacked his friend out the way and took me in his arms! Oh God I almost came from the strength in them and then..."Why?.." He just kissed my mouth shut.

Carrying me out of the room, I saw his friend on the floor, stroking his dick finishing himself off but he was grinning. After James finished fucking me, first him on top with me underneath making my pussy spasm so hard, on the floor which he had layed his coat and a blanket on, and then second time with him taking me from behind, fucking my anus with his finger as his cock ravaged my pussy, he came hard and rest his head on my back. So I asked him, "What does this mean?" And he said, "It means you and I and no one else." We would see about that I thought, I had plenty of desires and goals, i wanted a menage two hot bi guys, one hot woman but I kept quiet. Knowing he had stopped the the other guy making me pregnant and that James was the only person with the right to do so, I smiled and felt warm inside. The fact he was going wild over my tits didn't hurt that either.

The End. For Now.


Sequel to Those Two. (because good things cum in two's and I get really horny).

It took me a couple of days to prepare myself.

James had left for a writers conference. He almost blackmailed me to come with him. The thing he blackmailed me with was beyond deprivation. That sounds almost funny. It wasn’t. I can’t even type what it was.

Anyway, it turns out I didn’t go with him.

I think he was upset but I told him that my soul is more important than sex, some shit like that and that I would need to do all the things I needed to do over sex. He asked me if I loved him. I told him I did. Because I did love him.

He would make love to me hours on end, I’m not exaggerating, he had so much power, and he would tell me over and over that he loved me. Once when he told me this after the blackmail thing, I said that he may just be saying that because he would miss my cunt whilst he was away. He spanked me so hard..I still have the marks.

He was not an easy boy to distract myself from. He got under my skin..I know he actually had a habit of doing that with people in general.

The thing is I still had his friend on my mind too. No, that’s not why I didn’t go with James. No one would ever come in the way of my having the best time on earth.

When James was around, we would barely get out of the room, it was just him and me, just us two. I missed a week’s fill of work. I didn’t care. I had a lot of fucking to do. I WANTED to see his friend again. I didn't have a need, it was pure want. I thought about him a bit even when James was around. He gave a shit about me and he was the prettiest boy I had ever seen. Not make up, side swept hair pretty but just a little vulnerable looking, soft despite his fit body.

And the opposite to James.

I would cheat on James if I had to. My life, not that I’m making excuses for my slutty behaviour, but here’s the thing about me, I’ve never had it “normal.” I was told and made aware I would never have it normal. So I didn’t fit in life’s little boxes and categories and I didn’t stick within the rules.

Yes, I wanted his friend. I wonder if he was fucking another girl. But no girl would be like me.It wasn’t this that had been playing around in my mind for a few days, rather it was what exactly I would do to his friend. And what exactly I wanted done. (Everything). I teased and teased my body, getting myself wet, having phone sex with James, hanging up on him on purpose with him ringing me up and threatening me sexily, making me come in my white little panties, sending me explicit emails about fucking me doggy style, using my body, not caring if I came, even handcuffing me naked to a desk leaving me there and having a random one off stranger savagely fuck my breasts. I teased and I ached. But the first cock I wanted in me anywhere in me after this time was his friends.


“Where’s James?”

I walked into his friends room, wearing a smile and some new clothes. His friend basically just dismissed me in one look and a question but I didn’t let my smile vanish.

I knew I was wearing my new tan flat shoes but I didn’t think I was quite so hideous. Of course I never did in comparison the reactions of others.

I laughed. That’s what I do. “And hello to you too.” And then I added, “I hope I’m not keeping you , from a girl or something.”

“What?” He snapped.

Woah. Was he in a bad mood.

“Listen, I know you’re busy with your joyous packed life but don’t take it out on me. James has gone on his conference.”

“Actually I do have a girl.”

“Spiteful. Then go to her.”

“I already did.”

“Well, excellent,” I put on my best mocking tone, “Want to fuck?”

“No.”

“How come?”We stood feet apart.

“ I have someone” He said quietly.

“I don’t care.”

“Fine, then take your top off.”

“Smooth. Make me.”

“I’m not sure if I want to”

“Oh honey that wont work. You fucked me last week, I know you don’t find me too repulsive. I want another one. From you.”

“Work for it.”

“I’m forever working for things.”

“Fine. Then I’ll masturbate in front of you.”

“I cant hardly wait."

He went to his bed and picked something up from underneath his pillow.He threw it at me.I almost cried. Why was he being so mean? HIM? Why?

“Anime” I moaned despite myself.

“I jerk off to that every night.”

“When you don’t have a girl..”

“Listen I have a fucking girl! I just wack off to porn in the night and fuck her in the day!”

“That’s what I’d do” ( I would).

“Fuck off.” He smirked viciously.

“You’re a real bastard. I didn’t think you would be.” I whispered.I started to leave his fucking room. But I was turned on by the character on the cover. Some doe eyed big boobed Japenese slut with creamy skin and small bow lips.

“She reminds me of you” He said. He was. .Right. Behind. Me.I was torn between “get in me” and “I hate you“, instead I just stood there and felt a tear rush down my cheek.

“I’m sorry” He said and turned me around. I got his chest. He hugged me.I cried against his shirt, all my frustrations coming out.He softly touched his palm against my cheek, I looked up expecting to see something else, instead I got his soft blue eyes and all their intelligence and care.

I cant explain what happened next, except we both cried out as we kissed passionately. His tongue stroked mine, my tongue stoked his, his teeth nipped my bottom lip and I moaned loudly and then he whispered, sorry again but his lips never left mine. We tore each others clothing off, it happened so fast and I was ready completely ready for his aroused dick in my cunt.He had me against the wall and then he buried his face in my boobs

I could barely breathe. His chin, his cheeks and his lips though closed at the minute were killing me. I didn't realise I had spoken out loud until he moaned, "I didnt catch that"

"I cant control myself when you do that" It was closer to what I felt.

He surprised me by kissing me on my lips. His hands shook as they grasped my waist and nudged me even closer. He seemed half man and half skittish youth, unsure of himself and yet ..dominant.

I wanted to tell him he could do what he wanted. Like he did the first time but as I opened my mouth, he tongued a nipple.

I was gone.

He licked the tip and told me he wanted to run his cock over that. I thought it was funny something so small could have that much power and I laughed.

He bit my neck.

"Ouch!"

He chuckled.

I actually found that noise comforting but I could still feel that bastards teeth on my skin.

"Should I apologise again?"

For some reason I found our demented little relationship erotic and I couldnt resist aching my neck and kissing his lips. We snogged frantically and I whimpered. "Do something really evil" Why oh why did I say that?

I mean I just needed him in me!

He groped my boobs with one hand whilst claiming my lips again.

"Go.."He gasped, "Masturbate on the magazine."

"God"

"You're dripping."

Not a question. My pussy was dripping and he could see.

I brushed past him, both of us naked and picked up the porn. I looked straight in the eye and rubbed the front cover against my pussy. "MM" I stuck my breasts out.

He looked me all over and I saw his cock literally jerk.

I masturbated with the paper and felt it brush my very senstive clit.

I didnt touch my tits.

With both hands I masturbated against the anime porn girl on the cover and pouted and made lewd noises and I felt my nipples so hard and my breasts so incredibly swollen. I looked him in the eye all the while.

He started touching his cock. Stroking it. I looked once or twice at that as he would masturbate once or twice himself when he wasnt looking me all over and blushing.

"I'm coming"

"I'm coming Scott" He growled.

"I'm coming Scott! Im coming all..oover her. Like you wanted."

"Did I say I want that?"

"OOhhh" The sensation, his eyes, the act, my breasts, it was all too much. I came. I smiled lazily at him.

"But I'm still sensitive" I whined. He had me arms on his desk, dick entering my pussy from behind. He cupped my breasts and pinched my nipples. He murmured something and I knew what it was. In a way he was asking me if I was better ..he was too aroused to make any sense. In my own nonsense, I shoved my arse againt his powerful thigh.

"Oh!" It was both of us.

"Make me pregnant" I moaned nonsensically.

He came straight in me.



“I didn’t want you to come against her” He said. He had me in his arms but I merely lay my head on his shoulder.

“Oh?”

“Watching you masturbate in itself is so erotic. “

“I can tell you liked it”

“I love your body” He whispered, “that magazine is literally just paper. It was stupid. You’re real, not just flesh and blood but REAL”

Did sex make him more talkative or something?

“So you don’t jerk off to that girl?”

“I do but I know why I picked up on her in particular”

“Yeah I heard your story”

“Don’t you believe me?”

I shrugged.

“Your lips are small and plump like hers. A perfect bow. Your eyes are so dark I can never tell what you’re thinking. And this skin “ He softly stroked my bosom, “is so soft. So creamy. Other girls have these brown tan breasts but I find yours are special.”

I snorted. Yeah special. That old word.

“What?”

“Nothing.” I sighed against his shoulder. I wanted to let him know I liked what he said in his solemn low voice but I just stayed silent.

I was tired.

“What’s this?”

“Hmm?”

I pulled my arm away from him. He was looking intently at a particular place.I made a really big mistake looking into his eyes. He looked a little horrified.But he wouldn’t let me pull away.“

Fine. I cut myself.” I whispered.After a minute, I think I saw his lower lip tremble a little.

“It was sometime ago. Go on” I continued. He may as well ask me everything.

“Why?!” He choked out.

“I just wanted to do it. I felt pain. When I put the knife there, I felt pain on my skin and I felt I deserved it. It hurt though and I don’t think no matter how bad things get, I could ever do it again.”

When James saw my scar, he didn’t ask me. I saw him see it but I also thought I may have seen recognition. I forgot about it at that time because he had buried his penis so deeply in my pussy.

I moaned and hugged Scott. I felt some slight wetness against my cheek. He was crying.