Erotic romance heroes and real life.

I've never had a thing for someone who would feature in an erotic romance novel which and whose heroes I love.

I think that's one of the reasons I subjected a part of the world (3 people probably) to my abuse of the genre, is to have a creation based on men I have known and not known so much.

It's pure selfishness. It's great!

I LOVE erotic romance and I love the heroes. I don't feel alienated when I read a book or when I read about the hero. There's a couple of things that make me roll my eyes I'll admit but then if I'm kind of in a mood that day I'll roll my eyes at Friends, you know? Do you see my point..

I love erotic romance heroes because they're pure turn on. It's the whole thing that makes up erotica, having someone push your buttons and bringing you closer to pleasure. Whether it's reading about hard asses or hard abdominal muscles or beautiful blue eyes or a beautiful sense of humour or you know anything that can capture a woman's interest, especially if she's horny, they're all captured wonderfully in erotic romances. These men come to life. Er probably because they have a personality as opposed to the one dimensional stuff I talk about here.

So how come if I encountered someone like that in real life, and I had once, it doesn't turn me on? It's probably me. Like I don't know them to the extent I get to know them in erotic romances. It's certainly not an intimidiation thing. I'm not normally attracted to people I am intimidated by because aside from the fact I'm intimidated by everyone no really, I think losers use intimidation.

The powerful boss scenario can be sexy as hell in fantasy, but I think MAJOR FUCKBUTT in real life.

I don't like men who growl at you. I don't like men who are sarcastic. Or grumpy. They come off as arseholes and I in turn hate them. In a I despise you for your lack of humanity kind of way not a I hate but want to secretly lick chocolate off your dick way.

But in an erotic romance book this Mr sarcastic grump is a hotter Mr Rochester (if you like him, I do but he's a little bitchy isn't he?) ..and in books, loner, sarc grump guy doesn't make me spit "asshole."

Oh that's interesting terminology..anyway..

There's really no real point to this post in particular. Oh actually there is, I just remembered. I bought an erotica ebook. And I really enjoyed the way he was pushing her buttons to get to know her, to get past the polite exterior one tends to put on if they don't want to end up losing their job and working as a ho, but then he started doing this thing. Talking. Oh God. The animal references. I'm more a *grunt* occasional (but please not too often)"baby" type woman, you know?

And the other non point of this post. I tend to go for nice people. Not pushovers. I hate pushovers. I hate passive aggresive people. Er probably because that would include me. But I hate that in a man. Ooh do I expect man to pay for our first dinner together? Fuck yes. It give me a little thrill. But I don't tend to go for smooth, suave men. It's just men who are polite without asserting themselves too much, who have a natural ease and charm, a smile, a hello. I go so crazy for men like that. Just being around them is enough for me. It makes my day and I can masturbate to the idea of them being kinky with me.

Actually there was one hero in an erotic romance who turned me on immensely. He himself was a turn on as opposed to what he said, which was also a turn on but as I'm a huge fan of dirty talk, it becomes a bigger turn on than the actual man himself. If animal references aren't used and the "baby" isn't abused, dirty talk = SEX on fire.

So my future fantasy husband was a teacher. And funny. And intelligent without reminding me of a dreadful Sherlock Holmes movie I once saw. And not too sophisticated, you know not Rochester worldy. He's a little too weary for me. So back to teacher. He was a man in touch with his sexuality but only had eyes for her, without calling other women bad names. Though he did say something but I'll forgive Mr Kincaid that. God even the name was sexy.

As much as I like Go Fug Yourself

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/10/fug_or_fab_rachel_bilson_1.html

If only for starting off with phrases like My Cousin Fugly,

but NO Justin Bobby from The Hills is not like Ethan Hawke's character in Reality Bites. That's more offensive to me than Rachel Bilson, not a bad actress, playing Winona Ryder's character. Rachel Bilson is not nor ever will be Winona Ryder.

If you don't get that then you didn't get Mermaids. And you didn't get Heathers. And you didn't get why every teenage girl looked up to Ryder. She was the awkward, deep, beautiful inside and outside girl. Bilson is bubble gum to her.

Justin Bobby is more like that Pratt Spencer than Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites. He may think he's like him but he's not. At all. The only similarity is the grungey thing. But Hawke's Troy is like some God hero compared to that twit Bobby. Troy was honest and earnest. He was having one night stands with the occasional groupie type because he was waiting and torn apart for his love for Winona Ryder's character. I can't spell her character's name. He was ten million times the man Jblah will ever be. Okay that was harsh but did you even watch Reality Bites? Did you even watch Dead Poets Society?! But seriously, NO. Anyone who knows more about Hawke other than Uma Thurman and dps, will know I'm right.

Go fug yourself, go fuck yourself.

You ruined my amoretti biscuit aftertaste.

"Changing ourselves to meet someone else's expectations."

Yesterday I was watching this programme about skin lightening. I have to admit it was sort of weird because actually I didn't think anyone still bought into that stuff.

Over here in England we get less sun and 20 years ago the whole pale English rose thing was embraced. It's English people's natural colour. Now..I think they are darker than me. I'm Indian.

Fake tan is a MASSIVE industry here. "Sexy" people have fake tans. "Geeky" women have pale skin. Unless they have excellent bone structure. And it seems tanned men are more popular with women and the erotic romance genre than men with pale skin. Personally I always loved the milky skin look on men. When Todd Anderson in Dead Poets Society's jumper exposes his mlik white neck, I'm in licking mode.

Tmi..

But even more so, I have always loved someone's natural looks. I'm not into men who fuss over their hair or wear makeup. Or fake tan. But then I do understand the need to look one's best. The trick is to not make it into a need.

So on the one hand you have pale people tanning.

Then you have people with brown skin tones using skin lighting cream. People in the asian community who actually would prefer to look like "corpses" (not my word)..meaning the lighter the better.

It's westernisation. It's movies where the movie leads have the lightest skin. It's parents and relatives saying, if you're dark you better be good at something because no one will marry you for your looks. I know it's bloody shocking. But it exists.

In my own experience as someone who has a light olive/wheatish skin tone, read "yellow" and sallow, and as a girl who likes her red lipstick, I think the going two shades darker route would delight certain people around me. Do I care? No.

When it comes to what skin is the most physically appealing, would it seem the ladies with darker skin get the interest of gents with lighter skin?

And do those with similar skin tone to Chery Cole get the interest of all?

And do those with similar skin tone to Beyonce Knowles capture the interest of men with darker skin than hers?

Why I ask is just to point out that yes there are people who are specific in that they like what they like and know what they like. Then there are people who are just plain narrowminded. And these people exist amongst strangers and apparent loved ones.

That you can make your eyes more feline using mascara and eyeliner but there is a difference in doing that and going to have them done by a surgeon. Underneath the make up unless you subscribe to the Pamela Anderson school of thought, you look like you.

The programme made one very excellent and true point. Some of us are changing ourselves to meet other people's expectations. We are becoming someone we are not. We are losing our individuality.

Of course when one looks in the mirror and looks like what is liked and or what they themselves like, logic and reasoning flies out the window. They don't care so much about damage to their skin, their HEALTH, when they look that like that. Because looks DO have too much importance based on them in this world. Instead of women having amazing personalities and strengths and looks not mattering, it's the women who have the personality and strength and the looks who seem to be more valued.

I say "seem" because I don't think they truly are. You see value and worth comes from inside. If it comes from outside, it's a quick fix. If it leads you to someone who will cherish you forever, then it's possible they do actually cherish you (listen to me kids, I know it all) but your looks got their attention first. However, I have my doubts over such a relationship.

They say "ugly" people are the ones who think the most about these issues. And use marks for that word. I sort of have this thing where I think everyone thinks about these issues. Because they are there for everyone. However some people may get a better deal than others purely for the way they look.

I don't envy those people. I never fell for someone over their looks. For me that whole..just something about them. A pretty person captures my interest for less than a second. But it's something in that person which would make me obesses over them.

The more you have to work to make ends meet, the more you see everyone is human. That the world is full of obstacles for everyone. Isn't it better to show some spirit than be a portrait? Because the reward for spirit is better than those for looks. It's happiness that can't be touched. It may be brief. Or may it be long. It may take time to get it. Or you may get it in bursts every day. But it's TRUE happiness.

I don't want to live a false life.

Sexy at the movies.

So I'm watching The Way We Were. I don't find this movie sexy. It's powerful and sad and that's thanks to the chemistry and relationship between Redford's character and the inimitable Barbara Streisand (I'm a fan).





And Robert Redford..I'm the only woman in the world who just finds him too..blonde. Didn't he originally have red hair? Or was this a joke as opposed a "rumour?" Leave it to me to ponder the important questions. But the guy has more than enough charisma that he could have been the first red haired male star. I mean in Indecent Proposal he made Woody Harrelson come off as a damp squid. And that guy is larger than life. Okay Harrelson's character was such a wussy type anyway.





Anyhow, whilst watching Indecent..no I mean The Way We Were, I got a rude awakening. I switched channels and saw Harrison Ford yelling at the American President in Clear And President Danger. OH MY. I never dug him before, but he is SO HOT. Giggle giggle shut up shut up.





Pity he isn't naked in that movie all the time.





And that crooked lip thing when he's angry or smiling...





But he should take that earring out.











So let me do a top 5 sexy movie list. Why not?





1. Training Day. *sigh*





2. Kiss The Girls. Ashley Judd plays some bad ass good ass and I'm a very weird and disturbing person because the violent scene between her and Cary Elwes..now it's not so much what he's doing to her and what he's saying, girl is covered in blood thanks to him- I hate blood- and he's trying to rape and abuse her..that's not what is erotic to me.





It's just the high tension. I have a thing for movies with mentally and physically fit females in mostly male environments using their physical and mental excellence..Clarice Sterling, Dana Scully.





Lara Croft- NO WAY. (And even Angelina Jolie in that movie she was in with Ethan Hawke and they had wild passionate wordless sex..God he's hot..NO WAY).





Kiss The Girls - best watched last thing at night before you slip completely naked under the quilt.








3. French Kiss. Kevin Kline with I thought a terrible french accent (you probably loved it , didn't you.. He probably won awards for it, didn't he)..but he plays such a different character to that piece of shit Meg Ryan is going out with in that movie.





Oh My God her piece of shit boyfriend is exactly what's wrong with the world. Along with paedophiles. Rapists. Bombers. Pscychopaths. OKAY but vomit piece of shit boyfriend is so typical!





And Luc Kline's French guy just does not care. But he's got a sense of humour and drives very badly. Oh he's just one of the best romantic comedy guys ever. If not THE best.





4. Legends of The Fall. Brad Pitt's hair. And when he makes love to Julia Ormond.





5. Dead Poets Society. Boys. In Uniform. Okay don't call the police. Said boys are over 16. They act like they are. They look like they are. And I have a thing for Robert Sean Leonard as the doomed, intense but cute in personality too Neil Perry. And Todd Anderson. That's one sandwich I'd like to try. "Oh my!"





6. Please? Basic Instinct. Oh I barely lasted that movie. *smile*








And yes I saw Secretary..and it was so romantic. I love that movie.

An excerpt my friends from Unleashed. Unapologetic sexy scene.

(Copyright © 2009 Saskia WalkerAll rights reserved — a eXcessica Publishing publication)

Molly stared at the pen in his hand, immediately aroused and self-aware. The key to her kink was right there in his hand. She liked to be written on-in fact it aroused her to the point where she could come from that act alone. This was the time to show him, then she could see how he would react.

She took a deep breath. “Tell you what…” Her voice sounded shaky, and she hated that. She didn’t want this to go wrong. She wanted him. Badly. “Why don’t you give me your number? It’ll be better that way. Really, I promise.”Before he could question her, or show doubt about why she’d said that, she shoved her forearm out across the counter between them, pulling up the sleeve of her top. She ran her finger up and down the soft, sensitive skin on the inside of her forearm. “Write it…here. Please.”

Would he laugh at her? One corner of his mouth was still lifted and stayed that way. He toyed with the pen, his eyes assessing. Her breath was trapped in her throat. A moment later he slowly moved one hand and held her wrist down on the counter with it, while he began to write on the spot she had indicated with the other.His hand around her wrist was warm and strong, sure. And then-oh. The pressure he applied through the ballpoint on her skin made her nerves leap, the sensation chasing itself up her arm and through her body, flooding her with arousal. She bit her lip.He looked up from the place he was writing and back at her. She could tell he’d sensed this wasn’t just about exchanging numbers.

A needy moan escaped her lips.He stared; one eyebrow lifted, the pen, also. “Did I hurt you?”“No.” She could barely get that one small word out, and when she did, it was with a breathless, relieved sigh. “I like it.” She shrugged. “It makes me really hot. I’m wired weird. I just wanted you to know. Up front.”She snatched her arm away, bracing herself for the disbelieving laughter, the snide remark. Tension hung in the air between them, seemingly endless. Then he looked down at the countertop. What was he thinking?He glanced up.

“Kinky girl, huh?”She stared him directly in the eye, her heart beating fast as she braced herself for rejection. “Does it bother you?”“Quite the opposite,” he replied, and flashed her a grin. “If I know what turns you on, it gives me power… and it just so happens I like to be in charge.”Oh, that made her hot.

It was so far from what she had expected him to say, so direct. And then he moved. In a heartbeat, he levered himself over the counter, jumping lithely down onto her side of it. For the first time, he had breached the physical divide between them-and he’d brought the pen with him. Holding it raised in his hand, he put his free hand on her shoulder and walked her through the rails of plastic-covered clothes, backing her toward the wall behind those rails, out of sight of the shop front. He cornered her up against the wall.Her body pulsed with the thrill of his actions.He grasped her two hands easily in one of his, and lifted her chin with the pen under her jaw, an action that shot sensation down her neck and chest, right into her hardening nipples. She gasped for breath, her eyes closing and her head moving back to lean against the wall.“Oh yes, it really does it for you, doesn’t it. How bad is it?”He still had of the pen under her jaw, controlling the position of her head and where she could look. Could she tell him? Her eyes were shut and she kept them that way.

“I need it.” Her voice was a mere murmur. “It’s crazy, but I can’t come any other way, not the way I do if…”When her voice trailed off, he moved the pen just enough to apply pressure to the sensitive flesh beneath her jaw. Her eyes flashed open.“Is this making you wet?”“Yes.”

And a link to Pink Buttercream Frosting by Lissa Matthews. Because I read two sexy books today. http://www.mybookstoreandmore.com/shop/product.da/pink-buttercream-frosting

I hope that when I fall in love I don't fall in love with love.

Love shouldn't be a distraction. Or a feeling that you love feeling.

To me, love is when you are so involved with a person. Of course logic can fly out the window so I suppose the term being crazy about someone is okay. Yes I permit you. As long as you are crazy about them.

I just see this word being used so much. When it comes to people, I think it's dangerous. Oh boo hoo you say. Ah, well it can fuck someone up you know? I don't talk from experience but I know certain things. I've seen them.

Of course being crazy about someone and it be unrequited is not great but it's what I imagine love to be. No point in using the phrase true love. Love should be all of it. The true bit shouldn't have to be there. There shouldn't any love which is not true.

And if your love is unrequited, then I believe that you can free yourself from it. Yes I'm half quoting but I value that quote. Time is a great healer. You just have to believe in time no matter how lengthy it seems. I believe you can go past a certain point because you are tired of being tired and you can have something upon you and still live your life.

I'll be a little mean and say I don't see the great deal in love. Love isn't the only feeling that makes you feel you can do anything. All you need is love? All you need is life. Love is a part of life but I don't think it is the be all and end all. Of course I write erotic romance but I know I will write some which do not have the traditional happy endings. I write them because I am interested in self discovery as well as relationships between people.

I suppose I believe more in being really fond of as well as wanting to tear someone's clothes off because it's them.. rather than being in love. Personally I think love grows. I understand your knowing he or she's the one. I completely understand that. I get Romeo and Juliet's feelings. I'm not sure why and it doesn't have to make sense, but the sometimes you just know thing- yes I believe that. And I believe it's not just instinct.

However, love? I just think it grows between two people.

But of course if someone tells me they have fallen in love and they are glowing about it, not just talking but you can see it in their face, I will be happy for them. Kind that I am. And I'll them they should go for it. Hearing my say it, they sure will. Ahem.

I just won't be converted into thinking love makes you fly without wings.

No picture posted as what sums up love?

Damn I wish I was your lover.

I wish I was your lover

When I see you with a girl

I imagine you with me

Your passion shows in the way you talk about her

I lean closer

Closer and we'd be touching

Damn

I wish you could feel me burning up

I melt

The words you say are for me when I imagine

Being your lover

I know how you would be

Touching my thigh

Caressing my neck

Licking my lips

Stroking

Please,

Do what you want to me

Stay always near

I want to hear your thoughts

Those words make me imagine low,

Hungry and sexy, the way we would be

I wish I was your lover

I wish you fucked me.

Looks and humans.

I don't normally do this but is this for real?

The woman I see nowadays has a very different body type from this..and from me.

How did she manage to get such a streamlined, angular face? Because here no cheekbones are showing and she has the definition of a full face.

Since I've lost weight, I noticed my cheeks have flattened but I still have a full face. The cheekbones are more visible ..only if you look closely.

I'm just kind of ..not shocked..but wondering was this the highest weight she's been aside from when she was pregnant (let's not go there)? Was this to be considered her "unhealthy" phase? She looks fine to me but of course a comment accompanying this photo was, "this is the fat photo I've been looking for." Not even "fat", just fat.

Was she on some medication at this time?

The reason I wonder all this is if she looked like this now do you think she would have the same persona?

And regards to the medication comment, would you consider this photo normal?

If it was just any woman, would you think she was fat?

How about if it was an actress..forget it's Jolie just another a new actress, a fresh face, do you this woman is fat? Be completely honest. Do a first opinion, second opinion, first glance, second glance type thing.

The reason for this is I just want is to be out in the open. I'm not asking if I myself am fat because I do not care about normal and fat...I just think in the world we live in where there are so many unhealthy relationships between food and humans and lifestyle and humans and men and women..we should be more honest about everything.

I think too much is covered up. There are too many big fat lies.

So back to Angelina, do you think she would have the same persona she is known for? Let's not even start on success. Just think about the whole sexy thing. Or would she have considered been the less pneumatically hourglassed version of Jennifer Tilly had she looked like the photo above?

And if Jennifer Tilly is considered an ideal woman in the sense of her figure and her little girl voice, why so? What happened? Centuries ago this wasn't the case..or have they been covering something up, was it?

And I wonder about the whole sexy thing. What does it mean to you? Is it the same as "hot?"

Do you think sexy and self worth are linked and if so, how much are they linked?

Personally as someone who is described as pretty or even in an extreme case beautiful, but never sexy, I don't need someone else to think I am. That truly comes from within and I'll be honest, unless I'm in my lingerie, or naked, I don't actually think I'm sexy. I certainly don't dress sexy. I don't emphasise my boobs or my waist or my bottom. Or my legs. I dress to be warm, smart and I like pretty colours and jewellery. My self worth could be better but is still intact regardless of how sexy I think I am.