Gone with the wind, esteem & a few tid bits.

i'm sort of looking forward to watching Gone With The Wind, i feel like i know it as i've been reading a lot about it last few days. i'm disappointed it hasn't been on tv, surely the past holidays would have been an excellent time especially since it's a looong film! The appeal of the movie has been summarised in what i have read- survival. i'm interested in the character Scarlett O Hara, not so much into Rhett Butler. And i love the epic-ness of it, it's not a small movie is it, it's a politically incorrect old school movie with a bodice ripping type poster and from what i read an unhappy romantic ending- Brief Encounter, Ghost World, Ryan's Daughter, ET (i know no romance- they say) i like to see realism in movies and endings and read it in books. i like escapism, sunsets, sweeping staircases, a little fantasy if they want but not endings that have cars flying in the sky.

i'm also curious about the rape..was it force or was it rape? i doubt i would get information from the movie about it so i may have to track down the book.

i watched Love Actually yesterday, i've seen it a few times before and it's probably the worst movie i have seen. Because i know Richard Curtis has done better- Four Weddings was fresh and a little biting whereas LA was inspid and took itself far too seriously. It reminds me a little of a few moments of some European movies- which are far, far better. Does someone have to talk about existentialism and philosophy for me to enjoy a movie? No way! But LA never works for me and i just cringe and laugh at it. It's a different experience than the movie The Others at least it's entertaining whereas The Others was so boring and overrated and i've pretty much seen that movie before.

Anyway, if you're in England, then Seceretary is on Thursday night!


Esteem is something that takes years sometimes, i have learned to stay at my level and not lower it and how important it is to be the adult in a situation. i can only be a better person then these people and not care about their prejudices and problems, i have to come find approval in myself and not them. This has all been helped by my submission to my Master. It has made me stronger and unashamed to be myself. i could have typed this but for the submission part a year ago and it's far from the first time i have blogged about esteem but i feel more empowered than ever..for everytime someone tries to crush me, i get such a powerful thought that more than keeps me going, it makes me happy, it's like i have been stripped and the true me is coming through the fog.