Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Story of O. And questions regarding Return to the Chateau, of the non did Pauline Reage write this variety.


Yes she wrote Return and I wrote O to piss my mother off.

So there we have it.

One thing that I can't get out of my mind, is when O is on the boat to a party, wearing an Owl mask with that beautiful music and the moonlight and wind on her body covered by a simple garment. O looks so free, so graceful, so submissive. I must have mentioned the word free a few times whenever I talk about O, or even submission in general, I suppose by free I mean non repressed, not oppressed. I can't speak about whether she is free because she is no longer human as quoted from someone and also because she is a sexual slave now and she has disengaged from herself. I need to go back to the book and this post is about a few of my thoughts regarding the movie Histoire De O.

Critics talk about glamourising. Movies glamourise guns and they glamourise drugs. Things that are not supposed to be glamourised. But they also glamourise prostituion and sex. O is not about prostitution no matter what a critic will say,and like I have said before no one in their sane mind watches Pretty Woman and then joins a hooker agency.

But there is no reason BDSM should remain seedy. Or "wrong." As if it is like shooting someone or taking heroine. Or even infedility. So if BDSM is glamourised, so be it. For me the movie has moments of beauty and a style that is glamourous no doubt but certainly we see O's pain when she is whipped. When she shakes her head, that comes across as real. I don't feel it is selling BDSM, but the ending of the movie, taking it further than where O is at Sir Stephen's total command and will at the party in her owl mask, and contuining on to her talking to Sir Stephen about Jacqueline's induction at the Chateau ..it goes back to the love theme. I quote from someone else, in love are we, any of us, the Dominant or the submissive ever free?

And it seems like O is more palatable if it is a love story. She is doing this for Rene and then Sir Stephen. She wouldn't just become a sexual slave "just like that," it must be for love! But I'm not going to take issue with the author's idea and with the film maker's ending or even the reason the story of O came into existence.

I enjoyed the movie but for Jacqueline. I think the actress who played Jac has probably the most exquisite bone structure and facial features that I have seen on screen but she was dull. Now perhaps she is like that in the book but I watched this movie called The Image which is based on a somewhat classic BDSM book and the young woman there is a model, a pretty object and a submissive, but the actress who played her was quite good. I just couldn't care less about Jac. One thing I liked was the fact she was no questions asked submissive and I took that in that way rather than the fact that her face just couldn't show us any emotions if it tried. Sorry to sound bitchy but come on O is a little in love with Jac..I as the audience shouldn't be left to wonder how the heck this could possibly be, it would be like falling in love with your favourite Barbie. There's no depth and O I could relate to despite what the critics of the story say, as a woman of depth.

My favourite parts of the movie are the ending I'm on the fence about even though adaptations should have their freedom and the beginning of the movie. The two beginnings. O's journey to total submission and obeying her lover Rene. The beginning and end mark the two points in her journey so far where O has evolved into a sexual slave.

There's a philosophy, another one, that total posession is to give away because you know you can do that, that O is Rene's property, he possesses her completely so he can give her away..to Sir Stephen. Baring in mind, Stephen is no stranger to Rene.

So no more questioning motives, why is O doing this, why is Rene doing this, who is Sir Stephen beyond the older male and Dominant figure, what is the story of O really about...I watched a movie about a woman's journey into becoming a sexual slave. I don't know how accurate it is but I know it wasn't inaccurate and that the actress who played O had grace and charisma. And there was style mixed with substance. It's not like the book, the book is grittier but it wasn't a stupid movie. I liked it as much as The Image because it wasn't The Secretary, because O and The Image is about submission in terms of slavery, in terms of slavery over love in the sense they are both not conventional stories and I'm bored of The Secretary and I'm bored with even the lesser conventional love stories. I'm no cynic and I believe in love, I will fall in love fully I know it, but I'm worried about the importance people place on it, as if we have no worth without it, but that's for another time.

Now, I am interested and curious about Return of Chateau. I have read reviews which say it's more disengaged, the author of O can not have written this! But, I am all the more curious to read a book which is about sexual slavery. Perhaps O is not written well...perhaps the author thinks she has no personality because she is a sexual slave..oh that just makes me more curious because I really have to read it and see a journey of a sexual slave. How has O changed in her personality? And I want to believe that what has been written is that O has changed in her personality but the world has misunderstood a strong sexual slave girl for an disinterested, bored left over of a character. I want to believe someone wrote a sequel in which they gave an account of sexual slavery, full with imperfect characters except the character of O, who knows who she is and will carry on in her mission and the world unless they live it will continue to relate abuse to sexual slavery and unworthiness. As for Sir Stephen, does he leave O? And is this the book that has the "other ending" to O? Where she kills herself seeing as she is no longer Sir Stephen's slave.

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Now I'm taking a step back. My book Slow burn is available from Amazon Kindle


My job is done now.

Here are the links if you are interested. You should be able to get a preview/excerpt/sample on amazon if you click on send sample. IF not there is a link to an excerpt on Lulu and on my facebook page and on this blog. I'm very sorry there is no image for this book. I did try my best as you know.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0046A9MFE

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0046A9MFE

Thank you for your interest and that's me done with regards to Slow Burn. I have material for a sequel but I will only publish that if there is enough interest in this book. I can rest my eyes a bit now!

Vampires cheer me up.

I should make myself a tshirt that says that.

In between having a strange bug virus and looking at amazon first thing in the morning thinking oh I don't have the strength just now (regarding my book) I've been in need of something other than Story of O. (I'll come back to that another time).

I want to watch a Hammer Horror movie. I want to see Christopher Lee and his numerous nymph vampirises. I want to see red, red blood and sharp teeth poking out of a mouth just after Lee says something in a dead posh voice!

There was a time I could watch such a movie or even.. Countess Dracula. There was a softness and sensuality even in the harshness and the women had personality in their looks, some had pencil thin eyebrows, nearly all had heaving bosoms and big hair and they were a million times better and than the all too knowing imitators today. I could sense the vulnerability and I could sense the evil in them.

Just before I went to sleep yesterday,I was listening to that song Flightless Bird American Mouth. I always feel how fittingly it is used in Twilight and how fitting it is to the characters Bella and Edward. It's atmospheric, powerful and playful all at the same time. Twilight takes care of some of my need for sensual vampires. I'm not into The Vampire Diaries although I will give True Blood a chance, I at least like the kooky vibe to it.

"No one will surrender tonight. But I won't give in. I know what I want."


"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

What a stupid lamb.

What a sick masochistic lion."

Bella is the fragile human and Edward the dominant vampire. There are so many metaphors and subtext in Twilight that never fail to make me smile. The conversation about the lion and the lamb. The knowledge that Edward could easily destroy Bella. In fact, in Twilight it just so happens Bella's blood is the most potent to Edward. He has to struggle against that all the time, suppress his need to just break her. And no doubt he could break her. When I read their first sex scene in the Twilight series, I literally went back again and again to where the bed Edward fucks Bella in is destroyed, the wood, the pillows, the quilt, the sheets, unusable again; Edward is suppressing his violent need to fuck Bella to the extent she's no longer human. Hmm, it's delicious. I don't know about love, but Stephanie Meyer has managed to more than sneak in posession and its power to even the superficial, shallow youth today.

Monday, 11 October 2010

Excerpt from Slow Burn.



Available to buy for two quid from http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/slow-burn/12994621

Excerpt from Slow Burn

Mel walked through the corridor hearing whispers of “oh my god that new police man” and “he’s fit“, snorting to herself. The girls in their twenties at this college became 14 year olds for any idiot in trousers.

“What do you think Melinda?” Sarah got right in her face and laughed. “Would he tempt the sweet innocent little virgin here?” She crooned mockingly.

“Not after you get your grubby paws on him. And my name is M E L A N I E.” She spoke each letter clearly and loudly treating Sarah like the idiot she was.

Sarah laughed. It was a dumb imitation of a witches cackle. But then again dumb imitation was all Sarah was. Mel ignored her and straightened her body.

“Virgin” What a joke. If anyone really knew what she was like..if anyone took the time to get to know her they’d be shocked. She…oh but she couldn’t get into that now.

The Headmaster came out of his room. He was talking with another guy..oh hello..

“Melanie..a word please.”

Shit what now! Why the fuck was everyone so against her? She kept to herself but was always in some sort of trouble.

“Hi” It was the police man person.

It took her a substantial effort not to say it back. She looked ..by accident..straight into his eyes. They were big and grey..just stunning. She felt her pulse speed up but she ignored him. Not even giving him a smile. It’s not like he perved over her but she wouldn’t be a bimbo. Not now anyway.

“Take a seat.” The Head said to her. He was such a prissy thing. He was a tall guy, quite broad too and he knew some of the girls liked his build but she hated him. You know it stopped being cool to soak up female attention like a pathetic bitch quite a long while ago. But then judging by his hair he was still living in the 80’s.

She was surprised to see police guy come back in this room. He brought a chair with him.

“I’m Detective Stevens” He extended his hand towards her. Closing her fingers around his hand, he shook it gently and she did the same to his. He was firm, gentle, strong. Fucking best handshake ever.

“Melanie Hawes.” She caught his gaze on her. She could imagine him being pretty popular. He had charm. It wasn’t in your face..he just seemed.. nice.

She saw him sit down. He had quite a sturdy body, his uniform was neatly put together but he still looked cool. He had curlyish brown hair, his features somehow strong and gentle at the same time. Well, she wasn’t a poet..I suppose you could say he was kind of “hot.”

She looked at his badges as the Head asked her something about fitting in.

They had this conversation twice now. Yes SHE really should do more to fit in blah blah blah.

She looked at the prude..some men faked being sexy and some were just naturally sexy. Detective Stevens ..she could tell he was just in touch with his sexuality. She just knew.

“We’ve been asking other students this,” Detective Sexy smiled at her, “Melanie, where were you last Friday after your last class?”

Say my name against my neck as you screw me against the wall. Yeah she really did think that. It almost made her giggle. Fucking giggle.

“Melanie?” So he was persistent. She would have to use firm and gentle again.. and throw in intelligent to describe his voice.

“Ermm“ Let’s see “I went to the library after Chemistry class and I must have been there till ..6 I would say..then I..went to my locker..and then I went home.” She didn’t exactly know why she drew that sentence out that much.

“I’ve been hearing rumours to the contrary” She heard Head Master Weird-Fuck move his chair forward.

Have you indeed?

“Yes Sir?” She kept her tone professional.

“You were seen walking the corridor just after 7.”

“Just after 7?”

“7-15 to be precise.”

Oh screw him. And not in that way either.

“The doors close at 7.”

“No.” The idiot said condescendingly.

“Yes they do. “ She said passionately. “I had to wait for my ride outside once bang on 7.”

“Not on a Friday.”

Fuck.

She was confused. How could this happen? “Seen walking in the corridor at 7” ??

“Could you leave us two?” It was the Detective. He said it to the Headmaster. She would have smirked had this not been serious.

She looked straight ahead at the Detective who was watching the Head walk out. She saw he was being professional, wanting to keep this private. She saw every flicker of his eye..as the door handle clicked..he only now looked at her.

She didn’t feel angry with him. Nor uncomfortable. But she was confused.

“I’m sorry about this.” He said to her. Sorry? Was this normally how Detectives spoke?

“Are you going to lock me up?” Shit. Why the fuck did she say that?!

He laughed.

“Not even if you’re guilty…and that won’t be my job” He winked at her. It wasn’t sleazy from him, just friendly.

He got up. She saw him lift his chair slightly. He walked towards her side of the desk carrying his chair. She saw the veins in his forearm. She saw he actually wasn’t that tall. That must have been why she looked into his eyes as she walked past him earlier.

“When you finished Chemistry did you go to the library straight away?” He asked her.

“Yes.”

“And you stayed in the library for how long again?”

“I would say until 6.”

“You wear a watch?”

“Yes.”

“May I see?”

She stretched her arm out. His fingers stayed on her wrist slightly as he saw the face of her watch.

“Thank you.” He said as he moved his fingers away.

Rest your arm she thought.

“After the library,” He cleared his throat “where did you go?”

“I went to my locker.”

Fuck. She had the full force of his gaze on her face. Why was she feeling hot and wet from just this?

She looked at him and blushed. It was just a reaction she guessed. And Holy God almighty he blushed too. It wasn’t just the top of his cheeks. It didn’t make him look any less manly but it did make her start breathing heavily.

She didn’t know how to breathe when he asked her “What did you do at your locker?”

“I collected my books for the weekend. Mathematics and Physics.” Normally her memory was pathetic but all this adrenaline or whatever rushing through was making her mind work like a miracle.

“Say that again.”

“Ssorry?”

His eyes went to her lips. “I couldn’t quite get you the first time. Say it again.”

But her voice wasn’t that breathy..considering the circumstances.

“I collected my Mathematics and Physics books for the weekend.”

She heard his breath hitch because for some reason she had actually moved her chair towards him.

“Melanie, what did you do next?” His voice was lower. It was.

“I closed the door of my locker” She meant to sound cheeky. “I turned my key” She leaned forward. “I waited until it made a click.”

“Then?” He wasn’t phased. And it was spoken against her face. His lips almost touched hers.

“Then..” When she moved her lips she could have taken his. She could have leaned further forward..”I dropped my books..I bent down. To pick my books up.”

“What did you do after you picked your books up?”

Damn.

“I..walked along the corridor. I walked to the door. I left the building.” She whispered.

“Did you see the time?”

“No. Sir. But it would have only been till up to quarter past 6 at the most.”

“Call me Michael.”

Damn. Cute name but he didn’t pick up on the “Sir” either.

“That will be all Melanie.” He leaned forward even more ..almost as if he meant to kiss the top of her head.

She didn’t kiss him as she wanted to. She just wanted to kiss him, it was inexplicable really. She wanted to do a whole lot fucking more to him but he was a stubborn one. He would have to make the first move. She would have to change her panties every time at this rate, so hot wet and sticky was she from his interrogation.

But he sat watching her, not even moving. She got up and saw his gaze go up her body. He really could have just kissed any part of it that he wished. Any. Especially..

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She felt like some Goddess with him looking at her so earnestly like that.

“Tomorrow? Why?” Her voice sounded a little ragged.

“It’s standard procedure. “He then got up and she saw him straighten his clothes. No matter how cool and comfortable he was, he had some trouble tying to be professional she thought.

She could have complained. So she did. “Why is it standard procedure? Or is it just for me?”

He stopped straightening his shirt.

“I just need to know more details. From everyone. We’ve ran out of time today. You should get to your next class anyway.”

She looked him over. Liar. But she didn’t say anything. Instead she smiled the sweetest smile she could, “What time tomorrow?”

“You’ll be informed.”

She walked up to him. His eyes literally sparked. Dumb word but it was a fucking spark.

“Tomorrow then, Michael.” God this felt good. Fuck reality, she would play bad girl to his detective. She walked out the door, to put it bluntly she needed to touch herself imagining his eyes on her but she wouldn’t go to the bathroom. She WOULD go to class.

Buying Slow Burn on e book whether on computer or kindle

Here's the thing,

If you go on Lulu publishing and do a search for Slow burn (or Slow Burn) Pallavi Agarwal under ebooks you will get my book. I only have a copy and paste link and am unable to upload any click and buy tab here on my blog or a clickable link.

http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/slow-burn/12994621

Although the price of the book is now 2 uk pounds - it may still come up as 2.99 on the search, which is incorrect.

I have tried my utmost best to put a preview on there but it's just not happening and why should you buy the book if you don't have an excerpt? I have contacted the publishers and am waiting a response. Meanwhile, I have put a link on my product on lulu to a blog post where you can read a preview for Slowburn. (The post above this one).

I have a facebook page, search pallavi agarwal new erotica author and there is a preview, image, proper price, everything there. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pallavi-Agarwal-new-Erotica-writer/160033077360005

Either tomorrow or day after, if you go on amazon, if you go on the kindle section, and do the same search, amazon uk or international, you should be able to buy Slow Burn for 3 US dollars and the appropriate UK price (they calculate according to the US price). I have tried to put an image but no luck there. I will try again and then send amazon an email. I will put up the link only once it's available to buy with or without the image. You're just going to have to imagine a sexy man and woman for now!

It was very easy to upload my ebook but it took me hours daily on both sites to try and get the small details such as excerpt and image and when it doesn't happen , one wonders if one should just bang on a Big Company's door and risk "you must tone this down" or editing to lose what you like. It's been a headache with no benefits so far, initially I was happy my book was out there, now I know no one has bought it even though they said they would and my facebook page has had some interest (I sent out invites lol)and I started with this book as I had received messages saying I am amazing/they can't stop thinking about the book.

However does self publishing work?

I do so love it when thoughts are provoked.

"The pressure put on men to be initiators, yet avoid seeming creepy or aggressive leads to an unpleasant double bind. After all, the same gross cultural pressures that make women into objects force men into instigators; how many women do you know who proposed to their husbands? So how can a man express hi...s sexual needs without being tarred as a creep? After all, the point of promoting sex-positive attitudes is for everyone to be able to be open about their needs and desires, right?"

Unfortunately it's a big bummer that I can't read the whole article due to a tech hitch but this has been taken from literotica. I got an update from these people. I actually posted them a story but I don't think in the 5 years that have gone by it's been published on Lit. *throws rattle* Or it has and my username was something so casually perverted, I can't remember it and therefore searching for the story (the title being something very casually perverted) would be too much for me.

Now, there are some men, and I have seen this, who will look at young girls in a short skirts and just look, I have actually watched them looking and they continue to be on their little mission.

I'm not saying that as soon as we reach 18, hey it's okay, we're women, we know it all, pretty much this is a developing thing and there are girls who are mature for their age, genuinly not just putting on an act, but there is something in me that says, okay under 18 with a man say in his twenties even, a little creepy. That's probably the societal conditioning in me and yet I won't glare at such a couple and act all wronged for the whole of womankind, afterall individuals are indviduals.


"There she is; short skirt on nice legs, tight blouse and a pretty bra, "fuck me" heels and a smile. She's dancing around in the room, with a real wiggle.

She looks great.

But when a chap "rises to the bait" of this provocatively-dressed female, he can be accused of all manner of things unpleasant, sometimes in Court, and it is often quoted that what the female wears has nothing to do with it. He thinks she's giving "Come and get me" signals. She says "No it ain't".
This causes no end of confusion and has led to some weird trials in the UK."

If I were to put on a short skirt, tight blouse and wear a pretty bra and I did it just for me and with no intention of attracting male attention, just for argument's sake, it's incredibly naive of me to assume that no man wouldn't be just a bit more into me. Like it or not, intentional or not, you put your body on display in some sort of way and I mean that as a compliment and not as some grandma tut tutting, then you're going to get male attention to an extent. Men are going to want to look at you and thinking about you in sexual situations. They're probably going to want to feel you up sooner or later. Of course if a man just walks up to you and starts to pinch your arse, he is a creep. Why? There are boundaries.

Some men will say wearing a short skirt and a tight blouse means you should expect to be raped, as if you have comitted the crime whereas obviously it's only the man who has raped you who has comitted the crime.

There is a strong line and you know when that line has been crossed but a real creep doesn't care about that at any point. No remorse. No nothing.

Then, there's a desire from some women to have a man in their lives who is alpha and dominant. People say in fiction these men are heroes whereas in reality, they are creeps. But are they? I think about certain things I have read in fiction, and put myself in that situation, imagining it. I would feel the same as the heroine, angry. But in the story the man shows plenty of humanity, there is actually no rape. So, the men are alpha and dominant and their actions are left of center, not conventional but they are not creepy men.

It's become a thing to just call a man who eyes up a woman in a short skirt, oh "creep," "pervert." But you have to wonder when another man walks past the same woman, if he hasn't noticed as much of the woman's legs as the men beforehand.

There's also this thing of look but don't touch. I'm not big into sticking your tits in someone's face and then shoving em away and say uh uh uh. That's a total sex tease. That doesn't justify rape. Nothing justifies rape but in society, it seems we can have a naked woman on a magazine with gigantic boobs and sticking out her arse doggy style and it's okay to "express your sexuality" by reading a magazine, but that's all you should do? I'm also not big into saying ooh yeah I just sang a song called Hit Me Baby or Don't Cha (lol; sp!) and I feel so empowered.

There is a way to talk to women, not these mythical creatures as it turns out, but human beings also with a sex drive, also with wants, needs, different sides, personalities amomgst us, flesh and blood, feelings and thoughts, submissive, dominant or neither much, all of us are different, which does not require manipulation, an act of any sort.

I believe men and women SHOULD be honest about their sexuality though it's fucking hard to be so sometimes, and they can be if they develop a sense of humour but most of all have some manners. You don't have to feel like you're too nice for women. Just don't bother with the women and if it seems most women aren't into you, it's not your time. Write. Live. Do something but don't become bitter and start calling women bitches or sluts.

Sunday, 10 October 2010

I'm going to go through this criticism of Story of O bit by bit

Because when submissive women are called passive and bdsm is likened to some "matryric" abuse and flagellation, then i have a lot to say.

"Woman as Victim:
Story of O

The Story of O, by Pauline Reage, incorporates, along with all literary pornography, principles and characters already isolated in my discussion of children's fairy tales. The female as a figure of innocence and evil enters the adult world--the brutal world of genitalia. The female manifests in her adult form--cunt. She emerges defined by the hole between her legs. In addition, Story of O is more than simple pornography. It claims to define epistemologically what a woman is, what she needs, her processes of thinking and feeling, her proper place. It links men and women in an erotic dance of some magnitude: the sado-masochistic complexion of O is not trivial--it is formulated as a cosmic principle which articulates, absolutely, the feminine."

O already has a cunt, the story is about the fullfillment of her cunt. I will talk more later about this.

I agree the complexion of O is not trivial and that's why I am writing this. Whereas the critic is writing from one side, I hope to bring another side.

"Also, O is particularly compelling for me because I once believed it to be what its defenders claim--the mystical revelation of the true, eternal, and sacral destiny of women."

I personally although I know there will be women into bdsm who are from a different point of view, do not care for the anything mystical. Whether Story of O is a mystical revelation, is beyond me. I simply read it as a story of one woman's journey and although I am a fan, I'm not O and my journey will be quite different because no other woman but O herself is O. All women in O although they are slaves, they are all different personalities, none of that disappears so I don't believe Story of O to be any comment on women's destiny of any sort. To me that would reading too much into it.

"The book was absorbed as a pulsating, erotic, secular Christianity (the joy in pure suffering, woman as Christ figure)."

Oh please. I remember in the movie Dead Poets Society, the character Neal wears a wreath on his head and some people said oh he's a matyr, a Jesus figure. No he wore a wreath because we just saw him in a play where his character wears a wreath and he loved acting as much as living and wanted to hold onto that. I know some people get joy in pure suffering but what if some people do not get joy from THAT? When O suffers, that's part of her bdsm journey, it's not because her motivation was to suffer. Again, I think this is reading too much into it. The story reads as a journey, I don't even get how you can see the author making a comment about O as a Christ figure.

"I experienced O with the same infantile abandon as the NEWSWEEK reviewer who wrote: "What lifts this fascinating book above mere perversity is its movement toward the transcendence of the self through a gift of the self . . . to give the body, to allow it to be ravaged, exploited, and totally possessed can be an act of consequence, if it is done with love for the sake of love." 1 Any clear-headed appraisal of O will show the situation, O's condition, her behavior, and most importantly her attitude toward her oppressor as a logical scenario incorporating Judeo-Christian values of service and self-sacrifice and universal notions of womanhood, a logical scenario demonstrating the psychology of submission and self-hatred found in all oppressed peoples. O is a book of astounding political significance."

If a book is "merely" perverted, why can't that just be the case? If we are not allowed to even write out our perversions, which are not politically correct, there are many grey areas, then that's sad.

The book is about love but I also believe it's also about conditioning. Love is a feeling but being captive and possessed can lead to feelings for the captor and the Dominant and Master. You give your body to them, you're sharing your soul with them. I actually don't believe you're giving away your soul to them. I don't think the Dominant is the oppressor, I think they're the opposite of that word unless they are a bully and there's a line between acts of bdsm and bullying which a true Dominant will understand fully no matter their emotions and hardships as human beings themselves.

Self hatred? Picture this. A woman with passions in her life and in love with her boyfriend. Same woman decides to explore bdsm. Boyfriend is not an abuser. Simple as that.

It's not about saying hurt me. Whip me because you want to treat me like SHIT. It's about saying I will take on anything for you. I will explore the whipping because I want to know. I want to know more than the sexuality I am experiencing at the moment. I don't understand it some times but I believe in experience, exploration, knowledge. I also believe in giving myself fully not as some form of dead meat to be sacrificed because I'm a human with a living, beating heart but because I believe in giving my body to my Dominant fully.

"This is, then, the story of O: O is taken by her lover Rene to Roissy and cloistered there; she is fucked, sucked, raped, whipped, humiliated, and tortured on a regular and continuing basis--she is programmed to be an erotic slave, Rene's personal whore; after being properly trained she is sent home with her lover; her lover gives her to Sir Stephen, his half-brother; she is fucked, sucked, raped, whipped, humiliated, and tortured on a regular and continuing basis; she is ordered to become the lover of Jacqueline and to recruit her for Roissy, which she does; she is sent to Anne-Marie to be branded with Sir Stephen's mark and to have rings with his insignia inserted in her cunt; she serves as an erotic model for Jacqueline's younger sister Natalie who is infatuated with her; she is taken to a party masked as an owl, led on a leash by Natalie, and there plundered, despoiled, raped, gangbanged; realizing that there is nothing else left for Sir Stephen to do with her or to her, fearing that he will abandon her, she asks his permission to kill herself and receives it. Q.E.D., pornography is never big on plot."

O is asked if she wants this, she's also warned, she's asked are you sure. She says yes. Of course if she is hell bent on self destruction, she would say yes but you have to differentiate between a victim bent on self destruction and a woman who WANTS bdsm. O is going to cry at the whippings and say no when they're hurting her, what would you expect her do? Laugh like she's posessed, brain washed? Again, bdsm is not brainwashing and the condiotioning element is not brainwashing. O is not saying yes, whip me harder because like I say it's not about "hurt me please."

O is a sexual slave, not an abused junkie, a sexual slave who has given her body to be possessed by as Dominants and Masters see fit. She's not a woman who is walking down a dark alley metaphorically and literally. And she's not pushed to a wall and raped by a gang and if she happens to enjoy it that makes her more of a dirty slut to those men. She is taken because she is a slave. Her enjoyment comes from the fullfillment of her purpose, what she signed up for; to become a sexual slave.

And when Sir Stephen is to leave her, and he is her Master, as a slave, she WILL ask for consent to her death. It's not ultimate sacrifice, it's ultimate posession and now that Sir Stephen is leaving her, she is not posessed by him and therefore no more. This is a philisophy of bdsm and O is a book which is fiction and fantasy but anyone in the real world training to be a slave will know why O asks for consent to her death, it's as I have explained. This does not mean it's happening now as we speak all around and neither does it mean that men want to kill women.

I thought you said Story of O is more than pornography? You can't just call it pornographic when it suits you.

"Of course, like most summaries, the above is somewhat sketchy. I have not mentioned the quantities of cock that O sucks, or the anal assaults that she sustains, or the various rapes and tortures perpetrated on her by minor characters in the book, or the varieties of whips used, or described her clothing or the different kinds of nipple rouge, or the many ways in which she is chained, or the shapes and colors of the welts on her body."

Well you have just done it and in a very trivial way. Sure, if O sucks 100 cocks, then she sucks 100 cocks talking about it in any way doesn't change that but in the book it's not written like that nor was I counting the number of cocks. She is pleasuring the men.

At Roissy, the place where is she training to be a sexual slave, there are numerous men so of course she is to suck their cocks and the minor characters in the book have different personalities and the tortures are applied to them fittingly in the sense of if they have done something wrong or they are to be whipped as part of their training.

I will describe her clothing it is graceful, flowing and easy access. The clothing of a submissive and a slave girl.

Why so many different whips? They all have different strengths, stings, lengths.

O is chained in different ways as as her Dominant, Master sees fit. It's not about mutilation. It's about being bound and yes there will be helplessness in that. Vulnerability is not evil in my opinion. There is a line in bdsm between praying on vulnerability like a bully and testing the woman, pushing her.

"From the course of O's story emerges a clear mythological figure: she is woman, and to name her O, zero, emptiness, says it all."

If so, it's because she's being remade. Remade into a slave. She's not going to be punished for say a passion for photography, she's going to be punished if she doesn't follow her training obediently. Differentiate between losing one's personality and sexual slavery.

"Her ideal state is one of complete passivity,"

I disagree completely. We're talking about O.

And a true Dominant doesn't want a plastic blow up doll. They want a woman of complexities and a woman who can completely submit. O is that type of woman.

"..nothingness, a submission so absolute that she transcends human form (in becoming an owl)."

I thought that was about having wings and being a creature of the night?

"Only the hole between her legs is left to define her, and the symbol of that hole must surely be O."

Yes. O is her cunt. O is a cunt. She is her woman genetalia. But she's her Master's cunt.

"Much, however, even in the rarefied environs of pornography, necessarily interferes with the attainment of utter passivity. Given a body which takes up space, has needs, makes demands, is connected, even symbolically, to a personal history which is a sequence of likes, dislikes, skills, opinions, one is formed, shaped--one exists at the very least as positive space. And since in addition as a woman one is born guilty and carnal, personifying the sins of Eve and Pandora, the wickedness of Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia, O's transcendence of the species is truly phenomenal."

I think this is running with one argument. If you want to believe that about the book, if I can'r read into it like that but you can then that makes us different as people and readers and I won't criticise that but I think this argument is sort of running with one theory really and not having time for other sides. Some will say yeah but, K, isn't that what arguments kind of are.

"The thesis of O is simple. Woman is cunt, lustful, wanton. She must be punished, tamed, debased."

Punished for being lustful or wanton? Tamed and debased for having a high sex drive? Or, exploring her lusts and desires and wants? And punished, tamed when she is not obedient in the training she signed up for as being a slave girl. That's how I see it.

"She gives the gift of herself, her body, her well-being, her life, to her lover. This is as it should be--natural and good. It ends necessarily in her annihilation, which is also natural and good, as well as beautiful, because she fulfills her destiny:

As long as I am beaten and ravished on your behalf, I am naught but the thought of you, the desire of you, the obsession of you. That, I believe, is what you wanted. Well, I love you, and that is what I want too.


Then let him take her, if only to wound her! O hated herself for her own desire, and loathed Sir Stephen for the self-control he was displaying. She wanted him to love her, there, the truth was out: she wanted him to be chafing under the urge to touch her lips and penetrate her body, to devastate her if need be. . . . 3
. . . Yet he was certain that she was guilty and, without really wanting to, Rene was punishing her for a sin he knew nothing about (since it remained completely internal), although Sir Stephen had immediately detected it: her wantonness. 4
. . . no pleasure, no joy, no figment of her imagination could ever compete with the happiness she felt at the way he used her with such utter freedom, at the notion that he could do anything with her, that there was no limit, no restriction in the manner with which, on her body, he might search for pleasure. 5
O is totally possessed. That means that she is an object, with no control over her own mobility, capable of no assertion of personality. Her body is a body, in the same way that a pencil is a pencil, a bucket is a bucket, or, as Gertrude Stein pointedly said, a rose is a rose. It also means that O's energy, or power, as a woman, as Woman, is absorbed. Possession here denotes a biological transference of power which brings with it a commensurate spiritual strength to the possessor. O does more than offer herself; she is herself the offering. To offer herself would be prosaic Christian self-sacrifice, but as the offering she is the vehicle of the miraculous--she incorporates the divine.
Here sacrifice has its ancient, primal meaning: that which was given at the beginning becomes the gift. The first fruits of the harvest were dedicated to and consumed by the vegetation spirit which provided them. The destruction of the victim in human or animal sacrifice or the consumption of the offering was the very definition of the sacrifice--death was necessary because the victim was or represented the life-giving substance, the vital energy source, which had to be liberated, which only death could liberate. An actual death, the sacrifice per se, not only liberated benevolent energy but also ensured a propagation and increase of life energy (concretely expressed as fertility) by a sort of magical ecology, a recycling of basic energy, or raw power. O's victimization is the confirmation of her power, a power which is transcendental and which has as its essence the sacred processes of life, death, and regeneration.

But the full significance of possession, both mystically and mythologically, is not yet clear. In mystic experience communion (wrongly called possession sometimes) has meant the dissolution of the ego, the entry into ecstasy, union with and illumination of the godhead. The experience of communion has been the province of the mystic, prophet, or visionary, those who were able to alchemize their energy into pure spirit and this spirit into a state of grace. Possession, rightly defined, is the perversion of the mystic experience; it is by its very nature demonic because its goal is power, its means are violence and oppression. It spills the blood of its victim and in doing so estranges itself from life-giving union. O's lover thinks that she gives herself freely but if she did not, he would take her anyway. Their relationship is the incarnation of demonic possession:

Thus he would possess her as a god possesses his creatures, whom he lays hold of in the guise of a monster or bird, of an invisible spirit or a state of ecstasy. He did not wish to leave her. The more he surrendered her, the more he would hold her dear. The fact that he gave her was to him a proof, and ought to be for her as well, that she belonged to him: one can only give what belongs to you. He gave her only to reclaim her immediately, to reclaim her enriched in his eyes, like some common object which had been used for some divine purpose and has thus been consecrated. For a long time he had wanted to prostitute her, and he was delighted to feel that the pleasure he was deriving was even greater than he had hoped, and that it bound him to her all the more so because, through it, she would be more humiliated and ravished. Since she loved him, she could not help loving whatever derived from him. 6
A precise corollary of possession is prostitution. The prostitute, the woman as object, is defined by the usage to which the possessor puts her. Her subjugation is the signet of his power. Prostitution means for the woman the carnal annihilation of will and choice, but for the man it once again signifies an increase in power, pure and simple. To call the power of the possessor, which he demonstrates by playing superpimp, divine, or to confuse it with ecstasy or communion, is to grossly misunderstand. "All the mouths that had probed her mouth, all the hands that had seized her breasts and belly, all the members that had been thrust into her had so perfectly provided the living proof that she was worthy of being prostituted and had, so to speak, sanctified her." 7 Of course, it is not O who is sanctified, but Rene, or Sir Stephen, or the others, through her.
O's prostitution is a vicious caricature of old-world religious prostitution. The ancient sacral prostitution of the Hebrews, Greeks, Indians, et al., was the ritual expression of respect and veneration for the powers of fertility and generation. The priestesses/prostitutes of the temple were literal personifications of the life energy of the earth goddess, and transferred that energy to those who participated in her rites. The cosmic principles, articulated as divine male and divine female, were ritually united in the temple because clearly only through their continuing and repeated union could the fertility of the earth and the well-being of a people be ensured. Sacred prostitution was "nothing less than an act of communion with god (or godhead) and was as remote from sensuality as the Christian act of communion is remote from gluttony." 8 O and all of the women at Roissy are distinguished by their sterility and bear no resemblance whatsoever to any known goddess. No mention is ever made of conception or menstruation, and procreation is never a consequence of fucking. O's fertility has been rendered O. There is nothing sacred about O's prostitution.

O's degradation is occasioned by the male need for and fear of initiation into manhood. Initiation rites generally include a period of absolute solitude, isolation, followed by tests of physical courage, mental endurance, often through torture and physical mutilation, resulting in a permanent scar or tattoo which marks the successful initiate. The process of initiation is designed to reveal the values, rites, and rules of manhood and confers on the initiate the responsibilities and privileges of manhood. What occurs at Roissy is a clear perversion of real initiation. Rene and the others mutilate O's body, but they are themselves untouched. Her body substitutes for their bodies. O is marked with the scars which they should bear. She undergoes their ordeal for them, endures the solitude and isolation, the torture, the mutilation. In trying to become gods, they have bypassed the necessary rigors of becoming men. The fact that the tortures must be repeated endlessly, not only on O but on large numbers of women who are forced as well as persuaded, demonstrates that the men of Roissy never in fact become men, are never initiates, never achieve the security of realized manhood.

What would be the sign of the initiate, the final mark or scar, manifests in the case of O as an ultimate expression of sadism. The rings through O's cunt with Sir Stephen's name and heraldry, and the brand on her ass, are permanent wedding rings rightly placed. They mark her as an owned object and in no way symbolize the passage into maturity and freedom. The same might be said of the conventional wedding ring.

O, in her never-ending role as surrogate everything, also is the direct sexual link between Sir Stephen and Rene. That the two men love each other and fuck each other through O is made clear by the fact that Sir Stephen uses O anally most of the time. The consequences of misdirecting sexual energy are awesome indeed.

But what is most extraordinary about Story of O is the mind-boggling literary style of Pauline Reage, its author. O is wanton yet pure, Sir Stephen is cruel yet kind, Rene is brutal yet gentle, a wall is black yet white. Everything is what it is, what it isn't, and its direct opposite. That technique, which is so skillfully executed, might help to account for the compelling irrationality of Story of O. For those women who are convinced yet doubtful, attracted yet repelled, there is this schema for self-protection: the double-double think that the author engages in is very easy to deal with if we just realize that we only have to double-double unthink it.

To sum up, Story of O is a story of psychic cannibalism, demonic possession, a story which posits men and women as being at opposite poles of the universe--the survival of one dependent on the absolute destruction of the other. It asks, like many stories, who is the most powerful, and it answers: men are, literally over women's dead bodies."

Self hatred and wounding on O's part is because she loves Rene so why is she able to get pleasure from another man? It's because the man is training O and thus treating her is his sexual slave, her body to get pleasure when HE says and wants, that's what giving your body away fully, having it possessed is about.

The book is yes about posession and power exchange but I don't believe it's about evil or abuse although there is evil and abuse in the book but that is not the main concept of O. The main concept- bdsm. Sir Stephen and Rene are neither the perfect heroes nor the conventional ones, O is not conventional Erotica. Does bdsm only have room for perfect men as Dominants or Masters? No, but it does allow them to evolve into perfect Doms and Masters.

Implying Story of O is some kind of wicked candy luring women is the kind of bullshit where you just can't believe in anything you don't understand. Yes it is provacative and controversial but I see things in the story and in bdsm that once I read about them, talk about them, live them I grasp an understanding.

O is NOT a prostitute. She is not prostituiting herself and neither is she giving her cunt away for a price, though there is a price to pay in a lot of things, she's not asking for her death when she signs up at Roissy.

The critic is going with her argument and running with it and talking about matyrs, demons and religion. I don't agree with this side. So I will leave this at my final point, addressing freedom and objectivity. Freedom for O comes from choosing to submit to Rene. She is also attracted to Jaquline and through her training, gets the courage and method to explore that,to be able to be powerful enough to explore it. O's freedom comes from exploring sexuality through her Dominant's terms which are also her terms. There are things new to her and when she is branded and the initialof her Master, as someone who is going through bdsm, I know what is like to feel something AFTER you feel the pain. When I hit myself on a table, I don't smile later on. When I submit to Sir, I know what has gone on, I know what I have given, what Sir has taken, I know why, I know how he sees me, we're in constant communication, I have full knowledge. I have been taken somewhere. I could be in chains and I am free.