The King's Speech.

i got a wonderful treat. My Master and i went to see The Kings Speech. It’s not a movie that i would have gone to see on my own, i was aware of the plot of the movie, that it’s about a man who is going to HAVE to be King who has a stutter and for him to give a speech, he has to go through an experience. Still, i never got excited about Colin Firth before, i’ve seen Love Actually and aside from Laura Linney i couldn’t have cared less about any of the characters or actors since then, sorry, but in the Kings Speech his performance really moved me. i am still thinking about Bertie the character he plays today.

i have always liked Geoffrey Rush who plays Bertie’s sort of therapist in the movie, since Shine where he played a brilliant pianist who had all sorts of crap to put up with ( i must watch that movie again and blub like a baby)…well many times in The Kings Speech i could have actually cried, i‘ve seen movies with characters who stutter, tv shows, there‘s always a story but the way that Bertie had been bullied into speaking but he couldn’t, the quietness and then you also get that glimpse of the storm within in Firth’s performance, the way he‘s lost hope in himself and the inspiration that you can get from seeing someone manage a stutter which is something that really affects people‘s lives and perhaps i‘m not wrong in saying this but makes men who have it feel less of a man? The scene where he gets to finally speak over loud music..this isn’t a spoiler unless you’re an idiot..he doesn’t know he spoke fluently over the loud music, he actually spoke from bloody Shakespeare,!, because he has no faith in himself, i get the feeling he hates himself quite bit because he‘s been bullied all his life and felt worthless and hated because of his stutter. It’s so ridiculous and makes me angry to think how people won’t give you a chance just because you have an obstacle in your life, they should be helping you not the other way around!

The whole movie was so inspiring, so wonderful and had me on the edge of my seat. Sure, there’s no twist but this is a movie with such intelligent direction that every step of the journey has you attentively watching and listening.

i remember i went to see The Social Network some time ago and came out thinking God that boy (Zuckerberg) is a loser, clever but the character portrayed on screen was a self destructive tosser and one note. i have met one or two people at who seem like this, i never had the chance to get to know them better to see what they are really like, they don't let you in at all.

When i saw the Kings Speech and saw this man who’s far from perfect, he’s a snob, he has really bad temper tantrums and behaves like a little boy sometimes..there was just something about Firth’s no fuss performance that made me happy. Afterwards i learned from Master that his character died not long after, and i was sad to hear that.

i really hope that Colin Firth wins best actor at especially the Oscars and that Tom Hooper the director of this movie wins best director, i will actually be rooting for them both, i haven’t cared about awards and all that for quite some time!

You can find trailer for this wonderful movie on youtube, won't let me link, it’s not an impressive trailer which is such a shame because the one for Social Network was a piece of work but it’s funny, that movie was merely okay, The Kings Speech like Firth’s performance unfussy and kind of quiet was brilliant!

The poster for the movie is spot on! And reminds me of one my all time favourites, another classy movie Quiz Show about the scandal behind a Professor from a well respected and educated family who goes on a quiz show and gets the answers given to him through his ear (wonderful tagline of 50 million people watched but no one saw a thing. Love it!)

Also, the movie has Jennifer Ehle (i wasn’t even that big a fan of Pride and Prejudice..er yeah right i was obsessed with the BBC dramatisation!) ..it must have been a weird moment for youtube video making fan girls to see her briefly with Colin Firth after that whole chemistry thing between them in P and P and Guy Pearce who i didn’t recognise straight away, yes he’s put weight on and looks better for it, most importantly gave an impressive performance with a good British accent.

i also went away from the movie sort of intrigued by Wallis Simpson. i find her a little fascinating, all that's written about her, i find that part of me doesn't think she was misunderstood, that she was controlling of her husband at least and at the same time i think the media were quick to jump on her every association and move and word as it to say, see she IS a witch and a bitch! i remember reading about Marie Antoinette and again when i saw the movie with Kirsten Dunst part of me thought yes she was this misunderstood GIRL trying to do her best and she happened to like parties and the other thought is that really her? Sometimes i wonder how exactly history is documented..i find i can't trust it and afterall an adaptation of history via a movie or tv show contains an adaptation of a character so who was this person really?

And in a world that still celebrates scandal be it all to do with the size of someone's bottom implants, why can't there be more about personalities and not who's got their tits and arse out in a sex tape? Where have all the personalities gone?

i don't normally do this, but i have to have this perfume.

i got a lovely Boudoir perfume (Vivienne Westwood) for Christmas..the bottle, the box is so girly and just nice to have in my room. Problem is i can't smell anything after 10 seconds of spraying it on. It's NICE but i went into a store to buy some plasters like you do and sprayed another tester on me, something i sprayed on about ten years ago and at the time thought i LOVE this. Well it turns out i still LOVE this scent. Unfortunately, i have to buy it. It's still on my jumper and i have been sniffing it like crazy. My birthday is not that far away but i don't think i can wait. i don't really do things like this, i have blogged about scents before and i am a scent person but i don't buy things just because i lovee them, prior to my big lottery win coming up by 2050 surely?

They sell you all sorts of crap on tv and i would say even the picture for this perfume that i "have to have" in case you missed it on the pic it's Opium Yves Saint Laurent.. is a bit far fetched. Having said that, i am buying the perfume..(provided they accept my voucher) & i'll probably start crawling about on carpets afterwards murmuring endearments.

A beautiful quote.

"Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway."

Opening yourself up to joy.

picture taken from the wonderful http://lissamatthews.tumblr.com/

i am very happy that the new season of possibly my favourite show in the world ever is starting tomorrow. GLEE. i have been teased with previews, gossip & celebrity cameos since last November and now the time has come for me to catch up with my American friends. i am super, super excited over the fact Kurt gets to go to a new school especially after the drama he is to go through the start of this season. Get this..he gets to go a school that has a zero tolerance policy towards bullying which if it turns out to be true and different to all schools which claim they have such a policy, then i will literally have tears in my eyes because it will be like watching a dream come true. GO KURT!


i was sent an email by Smashwords press who asked me as a customer to review Kitty Thomas' Guilty Pleasures. i have posted the review on their site as well as Amazon. "Guilty Pleasures is a book that i love because of the love story. It's about a husband and wife who have reached a stage in their marriage where their sex life is very unfullfilling, almost non existent. However, sparks still fly between Vivian and her husband, the issue is that they fly in what society would call very politically incorrect situations. Vivian goes through therapy and an education, we read about Dominants plural, submissives, parts of the BDSM scene as well as taboos and parts of BDSM which i will come to in a minute. There is much about role play in mainstream sex, go to a shop and buy a nurse's outfit but what about fullfillment of "fetishes?" What about actual Domination? Where a woman, a girl as termed in BDSM, is disciplined and sometimes punished with a cane, a whip and a hand..what if she enjoys it all and what if she orgasms after she is forced to? Kitty Thomas' books are about fullfillment of sexuality and sexuality can't be acted or lied about. i enjoyed her first book Comfort Food and Guilty Pleasures is no less of a book. i found a lot of strength in Guilty Pleasures, in all the characters and most lovingly in Vivian's husband. Some people talk about twists but for me it really does come down to that cliche, that it's all about the journey. It's the fact that someone won't give up, they choose not to very clearly, their endurance, strength of character and love, that is the reason i will keep coming back to this book. Also, Vivian is a decent character, there's a situation where another woman stares her down and Vivian stands up for herself with diplomacy, quickness and intelligence, it's heroines like this, it doesn't matter if they are BBW, trophy wives, whatever appearance the author chooses to give them, that make me root for them. i look forward to Kitty's next book, she is a wonderful author."

Improvements and infidelity.

Pride and prejudice.

i like having rules. i was thinking about comfort food, this time food and not the book by Kitty Thomas (reference!) and come to think of it i do comfort eat. Not in quantity but the types of food and when i comfort eat, it's wotsits and i'm sorry to on the odd occasion, macdonalds. i decided no more snacks for me. No chips when i have a sandwich outside. And no "treating" myself to a macdonalds once a while because it's not much of a treat for your body. Sure, it's not going to kill you unless you eat it every day in which case i can imagine the damage from something not nutritious at all, but that's it, it's not nurititious, i have no need for this food. It's fast, i always have the same thing so i don't need to decide what i want, i love the taste and it fills me up but i like having my stomach rumble, it improves the taste of the evening meal!

At the moment, i am having to meet someone half way with regards to food, for example there's a lot of microwaveable popcorn but i can't be finishing it off just because it's been bought in quantity for a bargain. i'm serious, this is actually an almost situation! Which means it will be wasted but i am consciously treating my body this year and my face. i intend to have night care regime (if you please) for mosturising, all of one minute,!, i intend to put foot cream even daily even though my feet aren't in sandals and i intend to eat nutritious food.

i also want to make my wardrobe more luxurious, and mine is affordable, i'm more Warehouse than Reiss, my clothes are all about the skirts, dresses, relaxed but fitted and flattering, not layering, just simple with a few eye catching items.

It is VERY difficult shopping for skirts. Dresses are far easier but i intend to utilise the tops that can go with skirts, why should i buy a black dress when i have a black top and a black skirt?

i like to have some sort of set coat for the season but i don't like restricting myself to a uniform although i can see that happening due to limitations in what is available out there after the manic sales that are over and the fact that i'm petite, skirts are too big around my middle and seem to take a size 6-12 depending on the brand!

i'm also stepping up on my heels, no more mid heels. i am looking for some black high stilletos that are sexy. i want to be as feminine as i can be, because inside i know i am and i've never really thought about my clothes or shoes portraying that but i can really appreciate high heels now, i love just looking at them in shops and i love the feel of stockings.

There also comes a time when you have to say bye to lingerie that's faded or the fact you have a few too many high legs. No one but my Master sees me in my lingerie but i want to wear sets, nice colours ALL the time. Set myself a standard. So, rules they are important to me. It's not about keeping up appearances, it's about keeping, well as trite as it sounds, me.


i was reading a bit about infidelity. It's funny, i'm sure last year after Christmas suddenly articles about the topic started appearing on the net. i don't want to say there are too many rules, i think civilisation is important, i don't want to go back to the times of racism and homophobia just because there was less political correctness back then. Infidelity is WAY different to polygamy or polyamoury, infidelity is cheating, it's betrayal, it's not just morally wrong, it is wrong period. When someone commits infidelity, and i like that phrase commits because it implies a crime and to me although it is a crime to a far smaller extent than others, it's a crime, no matter how unhappy this person is, i can not stand this idea of them being "pushed" towards infidelity, i don't believe in that, i think a person SHOULD wait for say the divorce papers to come through, so i have absolutely no tolerance to those who cheat, and the people they cheat with. i'm not talking extreme situations and i certainly wouldn't publicly mock them or show my "disgust" but i lose a lot if not all respect for them and start seeing them a different way.

Next time i see yet another female celeb talking about her weight..

i'm going to run her over and steal all her money. No, i'm going to say keep your neurosis to yourself. it's different to a regular woman talking about her weight, someone not in the public eye, but when a famous women does it in a magazine, i only want to curse the media.

The thing is it's boring. i'm only entertained if say Jlo grow an extra boob, i'm not particularly bothered about how much she weighs unlike the media with whom the weight of any female celebrity is an over obsession.

i just think it's ridiculous when you find five articles about female celebrities that are to do with weight out of ten in one day.

i don't believe that esteem comes from some actress far away in Hollywood because she will get skinny anyway and then start once again talking about..yes you guessed it, her weight.

All the media do is pit women against each other and put us down. Honestly the last magazine i read was a man's one, at least they are entertaining, none of this Heat -she's fat no she's skinny no SHE is fat and SHE is just so skinny she can't be a real woman -codswallop!

Disappointed in this crap- who is going to take anti bullying seriously?

Yes i'm one of those "idealistic" people who think all bullying must stop immediately. Why? Because lives are lost- seriously what bigger wake up call do you need? Someone who goes to school and has to put up with taunts, being invisible, stares, laughs in every class is hardly a drama queen when they don't know what else to do but do SOMETHING so the pain stops. Teachers can only do so much and some do little. More support is needed, so that people are encouraged and not just thinking this is some lost cause and people thinking oh bullying has been happening since the dawn of time and my favourite, "that's just the way it is."

i know we have some woman asking people not to bully her son for wearing dresses and she wrote a book about her son the princess,!, i mean come on this goes beyond the issue of conformity and some men wanting to be women into the ridiculous, ridiculous because girls can dress like boys as that involves wearing trousers or suits and not growing a beard and shaving their hair. Wearing a red or pink dress is fine when you're grown up but when you are going to school and actually growing up, surely it's better to be aware of dressing up but not to be put bang in the middle for other children to pick on and expect they should change their mentality and if this kid dressing up is crying because he can't wear a dress, that sounds like tantrums rather than depression to me.

Gone with the wind, esteem & a few tid bits.

i'm sort of looking forward to watching Gone With The Wind, i feel like i know it as i've been reading a lot about it last few days. i'm disappointed it hasn't been on tv, surely the past holidays would have been an excellent time especially since it's a looong film! The appeal of the movie has been summarised in what i have read- survival. i'm interested in the character Scarlett O Hara, not so much into Rhett Butler. And i love the epic-ness of it, it's not a small movie is it, it's a politically incorrect old school movie with a bodice ripping type poster and from what i read an unhappy romantic ending- Brief Encounter, Ghost World, Ryan's Daughter, ET (i know no romance- they say) i like to see realism in movies and endings and read it in books. i like escapism, sunsets, sweeping staircases, a little fantasy if they want but not endings that have cars flying in the sky.

i'm also curious about the rape..was it force or was it rape? i doubt i would get information from the movie about it so i may have to track down the book.

i watched Love Actually yesterday, i've seen it a few times before and it's probably the worst movie i have seen. Because i know Richard Curtis has done better- Four Weddings was fresh and a little biting whereas LA was inspid and took itself far too seriously. It reminds me a little of a few moments of some European movies- which are far, far better. Does someone have to talk about existentialism and philosophy for me to enjoy a movie? No way! But LA never works for me and i just cringe and laugh at it. It's a different experience than the movie The Others at least it's entertaining whereas The Others was so boring and overrated and i've pretty much seen that movie before.

Anyway, if you're in England, then Seceretary is on Thursday night!


Esteem is something that takes years sometimes, i have learned to stay at my level and not lower it and how important it is to be the adult in a situation. i can only be a better person then these people and not care about their prejudices and problems, i have to come find approval in myself and not them. This has all been helped by my submission to my Master. It has made me stronger and unashamed to be myself. i could have typed this but for the submission part a year ago and it's far from the first time i have blogged about esteem but i feel more empowered than ever..for everytime someone tries to crush me, i get such a powerful thought that more than keeps me going, it makes me happy, it's like i have been stripped and the true me is coming through the fog.

i survived.

i am so glad and relieved and happy to be back to almost normality, after tomorrow, the only holidays are the weekends! Am i crazy? No, you wouldn't understand.

& randomly, the good thing about x factor is the covers of songs make me want to listen to the original. It's the opposite with Glee but that's a whole other batch of things that go in a batch, kettle of fish etc etc

Some time ago it was Alexandra Burke singing Hallelujah that made me obsessed with Jeff Buckley's version which i just love it's both modern and soulful. This time it's Biffy Clyro's Many of Horror which Matt Cardle form X factor covered as We Collide.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gYXzDctTfk (not Cardle's cover)

And just for good times http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfUYuIVbFg0 (nothing to do with the above)

i'm trying to muster up some excitement over the fact we're in a New Year, i can't because i know sort of what to expect, that's not a bad thing, in theory it's nice to see a clean slate, in practice it's just life isn't it. What a programme like Glee touches on is the many sucky things about life but for it's few moments and times..which you have to treasure and not take for granted.

i also quite like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOCCq0gjvrE. Has anyone seen the trailer for Blue Valentine? (almost said velvet there) it's my movie for 2011, yup even at this early stage.

Like what i assume crack to be like.

i was watching Mary Poppins for the tenth time (i love everything about the movie, especially "Feed the Birds!") and seriously they could never remake it with the same George Banks. And Mrs Banks. i googled "Mary Poppins sexist" because i thought i would have a good laugh at how these old fashioned characters offend people and my how it's good things have changed. Here's what i got,

"How she destroys the self-esteem of little girls everywhere: "Surely, not Mrs. Banks!" you're thinking. "She was a suffragette. She belongs on the list of The 7 Least Sexist Disney Characters!" And you'd be right about the suffragette bit. In Britain, women with a hankering to vote went to lengths just short of terrorism for that right. Mrs. Banks come home filled with joy and excitement about women chaining themselves to the Prime Minister's carriage, and then leads the household staff in a chorus of Sister Suffragettes, including the unforgettable line, "Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid."

Unfortunately, as soon as the song ends, her husband comes home, and all that "no longer meek and mild subservients" stuff goes right out the window. She shoves away all the sashes (because she knows "how the cause infuriates Mr. Banks") before the husband waltzes in the door, oblivious to everything except the way she looks.
MRS. BANKS: Dear, it's about the children -!
MR. BANKS: Yes, yes, yes. [Turns around and walks away]
...
MRS. BANKS: They're missing, George!
MR. BANKS: Splendid, splendid.
He goes on to sing that he treats his "subjects ... servants ... children, wife, with a firm but gentle hand. Noblesse oblige." Meanwhile, his wife looks like she is about to cry. Maybe Mrs. Banks isn't the sexist character here. Maybe it's Mr. Banks. At least she attempts to make him acknowledge the sentience of his children. But she's still way too complicit in this thing. Mr. Banks lays heaps of blame on her, and she accepts that everything is her fault and all but apologizes for being a terrible, incompetent person. If her husband straight-up slapped her, she'd probably thank him for teaching her a lesson.

Unfortunate moral: Everything that goes wrong in your marriage is the woman's fault.

What would have made it better: If Winifred Banks stopped being a simpering ninny and told her husband to suck her left one once in a while.
MRS. BANKS: It's about the children, George - !
MR. BANKS: Yes, yes, yes.
MRS. BANKS: DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST FUCKING SAID?"

http://lasoubrette.blogspot.com/2009/01/6-most-sexist-disnney-characters.html

Yes i think swearing is an oh so empowering way to make your point to the man who at that time, let's face it, basically is responsible for the roof over your head.

The link above has more sexist Disney characters including the favourites Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Little Mermaid. Snow White being a good cook destroys "the self esteem of little girls everywhere" (i would have thought peer pressure, dictating and bitchiness does that), Sleeping Beauty is passive, Little Mermaid puts her man before her family.

i understand and completely support and believe in a woman's choice which means i also support that some women's choice is her home, looks and love. Women have more choices now and yet they also have to deal with the tut tuts..did she really give up her her job for him? i know women have fought and fought and fought and will still fight for their rights but for me these rights also include freedom and that means actual freedom not just the freedom granted by A section of society, be it men or be it other women. And with regards to men, it shouldn't come as a shock that not all women are forced to stay at home, they may actually want to and they may actually be doing it for a man. Now acknowledging the truth, THAT is empowering to me.

"If her husband straight-up slapped her, she'd probably thank him for teaching her a lesson." Learning fast *laughs*

The truth behind heroine hair.

i have been growing my hair out for months, it's something i have blogged about before. i'm doing it for my Master and i also would like to feel it touch my shoulders.

The reason i blog about hair is that i am interested in how other women achieve a lot better hair do than i can ever get even with a blow dry, (i let mine dry naturally and then cool dry it with my hair dryer for minimal damage?), a vent brush, a round brush and rollers. After 5 minutes,it goes flat again though it's an improvement to how it looks when it naturally dries apart from the one good hair day i have a month. Literally that's correct! i have very thick hair but that means it weights itself down, it's not volumised and fluffy in the right places thick hair. Darn it.

i have avoided putting any products in my hair as i'm told i definitely don't want to weigh it down more than it naturally is already. And i'm given different information every time i look up keeping hair in good condition or tips to encourage growth.

Hair and nails are two things i can never quite achieve the look i want to achieve with, unless i visit a salon every three times a week. Last time i asked for a tidy up and not a cut, it cost me 15 pounds without a wash or a blow dry, just a dry cutting off split ends. In most places where i live a manicure costs 20 pounds. i want to look good but i'm not willing to pay this much unless it's once a while, i draw the line!

Then there's things like lingerie, clothes and sorting your shoes out when they get scuffed to mention but a few. It takes time, effort, patience, going back and forth and a lot of money to look like a heroine let alone Angelina Jolie not that i want to look like her as i'm me and no one else.

i personally would love to have long thick glossy hair, doesn't matter if it's wavy or Nicole Scherzinger (she's so lucky!) straight not because i want what i don't have but that i have always wanted that.

And long nails..but they chip really easily! They break so i have to keep them short..i have three broken nails and they're short!

So i am far from the heroine in romantic novels and shows and movies and the truth behind heroine hair is a REALLY good trustworthy stylist. As for nails, i guess i should just be happy with good teeth.


MSN has shown a few before and after hair do's, some comments are complaints about women chopping their hair off and that the ladies looked better before. And that they shouldn't interfere with mother nature..well, no one wakes up looking like pic 2

i have posted my own little analysis below. Full steam ahead!

pic 1 Taylor Swift- looks better after!

pic 2 Scarlett Johansson- looks better after which i know men will disagree with, i don't mean that bitterly, i can just imagine them disagreeing. i actually LOVE her new look on her. There's an idea that women love it when other women cut their hair because they're less competition, that idea was made up by pigs. Moving on..

pic 3- i think Rihanna looks sexy with her tall lithe body and a mop of hair on top and that colour is vibrant and daring and her make up brings her natural beauty out more.

pic 4- Drew Barrymore. Looks better before. An example of longer hair length which i think maybe due to hair extensions not suiting everyone. i prefer the soft volume of the before to the lankness of the after.

pic 5 Emma Watson, looks better before. Was she "following the herd" before or after? And who else is tired of that expression?

pic 6 Hayden Panetieere. Looks better before, but after would look cute as an updo.

pic 7 Jessica Stroup. Looks better after.

Sense a theme? A good stylist. They know what suits a woman. Whilst i strongly and firmly believe in looking good for a man, tough if you find that offensive, i also think women should be able to express their femininity differently should they or a man want them to and that no one can accuse Audrey Tatou of not looking as feminine with her short hair as with her long hair.

Suckox.

S'cuse the title.

I've had a few things that I wanted to blog about and one of them includes botox. I personally find it very very creepy. I find it creepy that people want to look younger, as a woman I'm so used to hearing, well doesn't every woman want to look younger? No! I'm happy to grow older, okay if I had skin dangling down I would consider a procedure but I look my age, I take care of my skin but I don't have that many products and I don't obsess. If someone said have botox I guarantee you'd never get a spot ever again, I have to admit I may then consider it only if I don't look in any way frozen! Not even a little bit, 1 percent frozen! I HATE that. It's robotic, clone like and that's why I findit creepy and actually think it should be banned. It's ordering with a firm loud voice and finger point (YES I'm making the Hitler comparision!) YOU MUST LOOK A CERTAIN WAY.

‘I have a bit of Botox now and then because I’ve developed two frown lines between my eyebrows.’

Oh my God?

"I have had Botox. I was constantly frowning in the sun. I noticed crow’s feet and that’s when I had it. I don’t know a single person who has not had something done.’

Wear sunglasses? And again, what's the problem with crow's feet?

I'd love to see a celeb who hasn't had it done, I never believe those who say they don't, it's so obvious and they tend to say an awful lot whilst they're pictured looking frozen in time.

I think people can do what they want provided it's not harmful and I think robotic and clone like seeking is, "perfection" they're calling it. The procedure, the injection, whatever may not be harmful in itself but the concept is. What's next, botoxed babies? Don't be surprised, it could happen.

The other thing I wanted to blog about was burlesque. I happen to find it quite glamorous and exciting. I'm not one of those people who frown on stripping but strippers themselves have to have a certain look and I don't agree with stuff like Playboy that promotes a clone type of one look whereas burlesque whilst I'm sure the dancers are not averse to tummy tucks and boob lifts and defnitely not fake eye lashes and hair, it seems more fun and yes empowering.

Plus I love the nipple tassle things, it's a playful tease and I personally think stripping can be quite sensual (with all my experience of course- joke, thought I'd better stress the fact I'm making a joke!) but I like the idea of say Dita Von Teese in a glass, it's just playful, cute. Of course it offends people, you can't call it an art! It's just stripping! It's SOOO sexist. But I can see the art in it and I also know that if you have a scantilly clad woman a man will look, it's a fact of life so you can call it whatever you want, it's not going to go away and neither is a woman's sexuality and a woman's sexuality does depend on men. If that's politically incorrect, I say sex was never supposed to be politically correct anyway and it's more fun when that is acknowledged.

Nearly Happy New Year!

Have a peaceful holiday everyone xxx

Picture taken from http://lissamatthews.tumblr.com/

Scent.

You've heard of the words, coming home? When I smell certain scents they remind me of a place where I am happy, content, at peace and at home.

When I used to come back from holiday it was mostly really cold and snowing here in England and I remember what we called the utility room in our house which we had to walk through all the time, it had a very specific smell and at the time I used to think, oh great I'm home..but I've always remembered that smell and now I enjoy the memory and I want to be around that smell again just for a minute.

When someone close to me used to come to our house to stay for months, I was always happy and I remember when she opened her handbag, there was a specific smell..she made our house more homely.

Today I was just looking through a wardrobe and I picked up a scarf which reminded me of the smell of my Master. It comforts me, it makes me happy and it excites me. This scent was like Him, it wasn't Him but I'm thankful for it.

Scent is specific. It's unique. Artificial scents whether perfume, sometimes fabric conditioner or anything man made man, when they are mixed in with one's natural scent, the natural scent can't be beaten, you can still smell it.

Maybe scent isn't reliable but it beats visuals and noise for me. It's pure coming home and there's no better feeling than that at all.

When I watched the movie Scent of A Woman, I used to think really he's not thinking about her (any woman's) scent over eyeing up her legs or whatever though with all his "hoo ahing!" he's probably mad enough to be the one person who finds scent so powerful, however it's no lie, a person's scent is as important as their beauty, their scent is part of their beauty and allure.

There's no picture good enough as the feeling I got when I smelled that scarf today. But this picture which I found on http://lissamatthews.tumblr.com/ does sum something up.

And I like this song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7tiT4BL09g

Christmas number ones, pictures and nine and half weeks.

It's a pretty nonsensical post even for me because it's a quick one.

I do have views on the Christmas number one song- I would like Katy Perry's Teenage Dream (because they covered it in Glee to huge love from me) to be a contender as it's a fun song and I'd like Christmas to be as fun as possible instead of " a time of reflection." This isn't happening and yeah I know she has a new song out called Fire boobs or whatever and Teen Dream was yonks ago. Something that may be a possibility is Ewan Macgregor's version of Your Song which I much prefer to the Ellie Goulding's version played over and over and over and yes over and over and over again advertising John F. Lewis.

So I watched Nine and A Half Weeks. The cheesy Kim Basinger/smiley Miley Rourke movie and I've been thinking about it. I didn't expect to like it, I'd seen the "food scene" on 100 sexy movie moments lists probably a hundred times- yes I watch those, leave me alone. However, I got to see a man who really in my opinion didn't know what he was doing and was intentionally and unintentionally on a destruct mission to me. There were elements of BDSM but he was not a Dominant. He was not a good Dominant and by good, I mean someone who knows himself-Mickey Rourke's character did not know himself. The ending confirmed that for me. And I liked the ending. I'm still on the fence about Kim B's character being submissive in her sexuality, I don't agree that all women are- or maybe a certain aspect in me doesn't agree, regardless, I think that Rourke could no way dominate her. He could only break her..and break her completely, with no new formation, no metamorphisis. I better sleep soon, I'm talking shit.

The best part of the movie is where he tells her the days are hers but he will look after her during the nights with him, he will feed her, he will brush her hair, I think he picks out her clothing but he doesn't truly own her- it's a shallow ownership and it's a romantic myth that some readers of BDSM and erotica buy into. A handsome man owning you. A sense of being young again. Listen, I want reality. I do not want fantasy. I read books for the insights into character but I don't need the author to make up some movie star look a like falling in love with a) an attractive but misunderstood woman or b) the "frumpy" secretary/librarian. Know what I mean? I don't need the fairytale, I just want to know more about how she feels say having her clothes chosen for her. What's going through her mind. You don't get that in blogs, or in articles, you get that in a story with a plot, thought out personalities, someone drawing back in their own experiences or really imagining and going with their gut on what it would be like to be in a situation.

Another thing I liked about Nine and A Half Weeks was the strain in the friendship between Kim B's character, Elizabeth actually,!, and her best friend, it starts off as stereotypical "hot blonde" (she is gorgeous but enough with attractive and blonde going together like two peas in a pod) and her funny jokemaking best friend. Yuck. Then in one scene I get an insight into the best friend's character. She's at a dinner table and she tried to get someone's attention, wears a sexy dress and then Kim B speaks and all eyes are on her with her hair and dress very very casual and the friend gives up. It's real. It's a truth yet to be universally acknowledged that all "ugly" and by that I mean normal people are as primary without conditions and limitations a character than the more model-y ones.

Nine And A Half Weeks A Memoir Of A Love Affair.

"Nine and a Half Weeks is a true story so unusual, so passionate, and so extreme in its psychology and sexuality that it will take your breath away.

Elizabeth McNeill was an executive for a large corporation when she began an affair with a man she met casually. Their sexual excitement depended on a pattern of domination and humiliation, and as their relationship progressed they played out ever more dangerous and elaborate variations on that pattern of sadomasochism. By the end, Elizabeth had relinquished all control over her body -- and her mind.

With a cool detachment that makes the experiences and sensations she describes all the more frightening in their intensity, Elizabeth McNeill deftly unfolds her story and invites you into the mesmerizing and dangerous world of Nine and a Half Weeks -- a world you won't soon forget."

http://www.amazon.com/Nine-Half-Weeks-Memoir-Affair/dp/0060746394


Bring it on.


“The worst part was when she’s tied to the table leg while he eats.”

“The worst part was when he makes her crawl around on her hands and knees.”

“The worst part was when she was hanging to the wall.”

“The worst part was when she robs the man at knifepoint.” (Does he make her do this?)

“The worst thing was what it left her with – lasting dissatisfaction with sex which, for her, never again reaches that fever pitch.”

“Amazing that in the whole nine and a half weeks, with all that sex, they only came at the same time once.” (Get real).

“The worst part was when he made her masturbate in front of him.”

“The best bit is when he changes her tampons.”


Quotes are from http://www.646bc.co.uk/html/nine_and_a_half_weeks.html

Like I say, bring it on.

Oh yeah lots of people like Glee, lots of different people like Glee

There's about 500 pages of Glee in places where you wouldn't expect. I'm awaiting to see Glee on X Factor and I just heard their version of Teenage Dream today. I've made a list of ten Glee videos that I really like, including Teenage Dream which I love.

http://wickedwitchofwest.blogspot.com/2010/12/glees-version-of-teenage-dream-is.html

Guilty Pleasures by Kitty Thomas.

As you know I'm the hugest fan of Ms Thomas' Comfort Food, so I want to post the excerpt for her next book which I have taken from her blog http://kittythomas.wordpress.com/

"Vivian Delaney leads a life of privilege, but behind closed doors she feels isolated and trapped in a gilded cage. Unable to achieve sexual pleasure with her husband, she finds herself in the capable hands of Anton, a massage therapist intent on awakening her to her full sexual potential. By any means necessary.

As their secret meetings progress, she falls farther down a rabbit hole where the line between rape and illicit affair grows increasingly blurred. Anton will accept nothing short of her complete surrender as he molds and shapes her to be sold to the highest bidder."

The book will be out soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Kitty has posted a BEAUTIFUL cover http://kittythomas.wordpress.com/2010/12/05/guilty-pleasures-cover-art/

Bondage and books.

For the cakes, use your imagination x


I have a book recommendation as well. I'm not going to do a review but basically Stripped Bare by Lena Matthews was one of the first books that got to me. Over the years I have discovered authors that are on my must buy list but when I read the excerpt of SB, I remember waiting a month before the book came out and getting very excited on the day of its release, I was there buying it as soon as it came out!

The book is about posession and ownership. Back then BDSM was S and M to me, it was whips and leather and those things in itself didn't excite me but posession and ownership always have.

Another thing that Stripped Bare is about is body acceptance and esteem related to appearance. Missy the heroine is plus size but body acceptance is hardly limited to plus size. It seems a big issue amongst a lot of women even those you think, okay yeah right she can't have issues with that body. And when I read this book, it was passionate about body acceptance.

The book that I bought had a really cute cover, a heroine with glasses, hair pulled back and a lovely smile. The new book cover is sexy but I have to say I miss the old one, it's what drew me to the book but I can imagine the heroine evolving into the woman on the new cover. Or that is her in the bedroom or simply when she is with the hero.

I also had read a different excerpt in which the hero commands the heroine to "come for him" right now in his office...



Anything can happen when jokers are wild.

When visiting an adult bookstore for a bachelor party, Professor Brody Kincaid is shocked to see his former student Missy Haddan working at the counter. He’s had his eyes on Missy since she’d been his student several months ago and has been waiting for the perfect time to approach her. Fate has just slipped her into his path. Her warm personality and full-figured beauty holds him captivated, and he is determined to have her no matter what the cost.

Missy sees all kinds at her job, but never expects to see her former professor. She knows he’s out of her league, but when Brody offers to teach her to play poker, Missy can’t resist the temptation to learn, or her desire for him.

Their simple games goes further then even she could have imagined. When the ante is upped and her heart is on the line, Missy is willing to risk it all on a game of chance, but anything could happen when jokers are wild.

Copyright© 2007 Lena Matthews
All rights reserved — a Samhain Publishing, Ltd. publication

It wasn’t like her to be so free with her body, not that Brody had given her much say in the matter. He came, he saw, he conquered. Okay, so she came, but he had definitely conquered. She had been such an easy target. He had just swooped down and pounced, and all of her free will had vanished. Not that he’d done anything she hadn’t wanted, it was just that he was so overpowering.

Brody’s sexual prowess far outweighed the meager bump and grind she had experienced in her past. And after Tony, her ex, she was a little gun-shy. Which, mingled with her regular shy personality, left her feeling like an invisible mound of mush. There was no way Brody could ever be interested in her. The cute, great guy only fell for the homely, fat chicks in bad TV movies.

The door swinging open wildly sent the bell into an epileptic seizure. Glancing up, she watched in surprise as Brody strolled into the store. In form-fitting blue jeans and a gray short-sleeved shirt, he appeared as if she conjured him out of her fantasy. Every time she watched him move, she heard hot jazz music playing in the back of her head. As if she was mentally playing a song for him to strip to. The thought of him naked and shaking his moneymaker made her blush from the sheer vision of him.

“I would say a penny for your thoughts, but the way you’re blushing, I’d be willing to pay a hell of a lot more,” he teased, strolling up to her. His stormy blue-gray eyes twinkled in merriment.

Blushing brighter, Missy cringed at his knowing laugh and wished the ground would just open up and swallow her whole. The scent of his cologne drifted up to her and doused her senses with a direct hit of pheromones. The aroma, rich and spicy and with a hint of his own unique scent, soared around her, forcing Missy to grip the feather duster to prevent herself from attacking him and dragging him to the floor.

“You know stalking is illegal in the state of California,” she quipped, once she was able to gather her ability to think.

Grinning, Brody replied, “Well, if the mountain won’t come to Muhammad…”

“Comparing me to a mountain won’t get you far, Muhammad.”

“Sounds to me like someone is trying to call herself fat in a roundabout way.”

“No, I wasn’t,” she denied. “But if I wanted to, I would.”

“I wouldn’t advise it if I were you,” Brody threatened softly. His commanding tone caught her off guard, as did her urge to obey him. Something about his presence stilled her automatic response sensors.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, walking around the counter. Missy wanted to put as much distance between them as she could.

“I came to see you,” he answered, leaning against the counter. “We have some unfinished business, you and I.”

“Look, this afternoon I wasn’t myself.”

“So who was it that squeezed my fingers like a vise-grip in my office this afternoon?”

Missy’s eyes widened. She flushed, feeling the heat spread up from her breasts to her cheeks. Looking over his shoulder, Missy glanced around to see if any of the few customers who were nearby heard him.

Leaning forward, she whispered hotly, “Don’t talk about that here.”

“I can’t talk about sex in a sex shop?”

“We didn’t have sex and no, you can’t. This is my place of employment.”

“My purpose isn’t to embarrass you, Missy,” he chided softly, “but to try to get to know you better.”

“Know me better?” she questioned in shock. “You don’t know me at all.”

“Oh, I beg to differ, little one. I know enough.”

“Because I took your class?”

“No, because I tasted you.” Running his hands over the counter, he brushed the tips of his fingers against the soft flesh of her arm. “I want more than a taste now; I want the whole damn meal.”

Pulling back her arm, she looked at Brody, not quite sure what to say. There was no use trying to act blasé with him. She could no more pull off the seductress act than he could act like a choirboy. Missy was way out of her element, and she knew it.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he said, reaching over the counter for her hand. Pulling it forward, he caressed her palm as if he was trying to calm a skittish mare. “What are you afraid of?”

“You,” she said stiffly. “You’re going run all over me.”

“That’s not my intention.”

“But you’ll do it anyway. I’m not equipped to handle you.”

“What do you mean?” Brody tilted his head and smiled gently at her.

“You’re going to try to turn this into a sex thing.”

“And that would be bad, why?”

“Because look at you and look at me.”

“I am looking, Missy.”

Frustrated, she yanked her hand away and stepped back from the counter. “No, look at me, Brody.”

“I am looking,” he said firmly. “And I like what I see.”

“You’re confusing me.”

“What’s confusing about me wanting to get to know you better?” Brody asked, shaking his head in bewilderment.

“You’re going too fast.”

“I’ll slow down.”

Missy tried to read his intent with a slight frown on her face. He appeared to be sincere, but she couldn’t be sure. She was still waiting for her bullshit meter to start going off. When something appeared to be too good to be true, it was normally because it was.

“Really.” He laughed at her disbelieving stare. “We can start off as friends.”

“Well, I normally don’t let my friends finger me in their offices.”

“Where do you let them finger you?”

“I didn’t mean…” She flushed, feeling foolish and embarrassed. “I don’t let them finger me at all.”

“Damn,” Brody teased. “And here I was looking forward to the benefits of being your friend.”