The King's Speech.

i got a wonderful treat. My Master and i went to see The Kings Speech. It’s not a movie that i would have gone to see on my own, i was aware of the plot of the movie, that it’s about a man who is going to HAVE to be King who has a stutter and for him to give a speech, he has to go through an experience. Still, i never got excited about Colin Firth before, i’ve seen Love Actually and aside from Laura Linney i couldn’t have cared less about any of the characters or actors since then, sorry, but in the Kings Speech his performance really moved me. i am still thinking about Bertie the character he plays today.

i have always liked Geoffrey Rush who plays Bertie’s sort of therapist in the movie, since Shine where he played a brilliant pianist who had all sorts of crap to put up with ( i must watch that movie again and blub like a baby)…well many times in The Kings Speech i could have actually cried, i‘ve seen movies with characters who stutter, tv shows, there‘s always a story but the way that Bertie had been bullied into speaking but he couldn’t, the quietness and then you also get that glimpse of the storm within in Firth’s performance, the way he‘s lost hope in himself and the inspiration that you can get from seeing someone manage a stutter which is something that really affects people‘s lives and perhaps i‘m not wrong in saying this but makes men who have it feel less of a man? The scene where he gets to finally speak over loud music..this isn’t a spoiler unless you’re an idiot..he doesn’t know he spoke fluently over the loud music, he actually spoke from bloody Shakespeare,!, because he has no faith in himself, i get the feeling he hates himself quite bit because he‘s been bullied all his life and felt worthless and hated because of his stutter. It’s so ridiculous and makes me angry to think how people won’t give you a chance just because you have an obstacle in your life, they should be helping you not the other way around!

The whole movie was so inspiring, so wonderful and had me on the edge of my seat. Sure, there’s no twist but this is a movie with such intelligent direction that every step of the journey has you attentively watching and listening.

i remember i went to see The Social Network some time ago and came out thinking God that boy (Zuckerberg) is a loser, clever but the character portrayed on screen was a self destructive tosser and one note. i have met one or two people at who seem like this, i never had the chance to get to know them better to see what they are really like, they don't let you in at all.

When i saw the Kings Speech and saw this man who’s far from perfect, he’s a snob, he has really bad temper tantrums and behaves like a little boy sometimes..there was just something about Firth’s no fuss performance that made me happy. Afterwards i learned from Master that his character died not long after, and i was sad to hear that.

i really hope that Colin Firth wins best actor at especially the Oscars and that Tom Hooper the director of this movie wins best director, i will actually be rooting for them both, i haven’t cared about awards and all that for quite some time!

You can find trailer for this wonderful movie on youtube, won't let me link, it’s not an impressive trailer which is such a shame because the one for Social Network was a piece of work but it’s funny, that movie was merely okay, The Kings Speech like Firth’s performance unfussy and kind of quiet was brilliant!

The poster for the movie is spot on! And reminds me of one my all time favourites, another classy movie Quiz Show about the scandal behind a Professor from a well respected and educated family who goes on a quiz show and gets the answers given to him through his ear (wonderful tagline of 50 million people watched but no one saw a thing. Love it!)

Also, the movie has Jennifer Ehle (i wasn’t even that big a fan of Pride and Prejudice..er yeah right i was obsessed with the BBC dramatisation!) ..it must have been a weird moment for youtube video making fan girls to see her briefly with Colin Firth after that whole chemistry thing between them in P and P and Guy Pearce who i didn’t recognise straight away, yes he’s put weight on and looks better for it, most importantly gave an impressive performance with a good British accent.

i also went away from the movie sort of intrigued by Wallis Simpson. i find her a little fascinating, all that's written about her, i find that part of me doesn't think she was misunderstood, that she was controlling of her husband at least and at the same time i think the media were quick to jump on her every association and move and word as it to say, see she IS a witch and a bitch! i remember reading about Marie Antoinette and again when i saw the movie with Kirsten Dunst part of me thought yes she was this misunderstood GIRL trying to do her best and she happened to like parties and the other thought is that really her? Sometimes i wonder how exactly history is documented..i find i can't trust it and afterall an adaptation of history via a movie or tv show contains an adaptation of a character so who was this person really?

And in a world that still celebrates scandal be it all to do with the size of someone's bottom implants, why can't there be more about personalities and not who's got their tits and arse out in a sex tape? Where have all the personalities gone?

i don't normally do this, but i have to have this perfume.

i got a lovely Boudoir perfume (Vivienne Westwood) for Christmas..the bottle, the box is so girly and just nice to have in my room. Problem is i can't smell anything after 10 seconds of spraying it on. It's NICE but i went into a store to buy some plasters like you do and sprayed another tester on me, something i sprayed on about ten years ago and at the time thought i LOVE this. Well it turns out i still LOVE this scent. Unfortunately, i have to buy it. It's still on my jumper and i have been sniffing it like crazy. My birthday is not that far away but i don't think i can wait. i don't really do things like this, i have blogged about scents before and i am a scent person but i don't buy things just because i lovee them, prior to my big lottery win coming up by 2050 surely?

They sell you all sorts of crap on tv and i would say even the picture for this perfume that i "have to have" in case you missed it on the pic it's Opium Yves Saint Laurent.. is a bit far fetched. Having said that, i am buying the perfume..(provided they accept my voucher) & i'll probably start crawling about on carpets afterwards murmuring endearments.

A beautiful quote.

"Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway."

Opening yourself up to joy.

picture taken from the wonderful http://lissamatthews.tumblr.com/

i am very happy that the new season of possibly my favourite show in the world ever is starting tomorrow. GLEE. i have been teased with previews, gossip & celebrity cameos since last November and now the time has come for me to catch up with my American friends. i am super, super excited over the fact Kurt gets to go to a new school especially after the drama he is to go through the start of this season. Get this..he gets to go a school that has a zero tolerance policy towards bullying which if it turns out to be true and different to all schools which claim they have such a policy, then i will literally have tears in my eyes because it will be like watching a dream come true. GO KURT!


i was sent an email by Smashwords press who asked me as a customer to review Kitty Thomas' Guilty Pleasures. i have posted the review on their site as well as Amazon. "Guilty Pleasures is a book that i love because of the love story. It's about a husband and wife who have reached a stage in their marriage where their sex life is very unfullfilling, almost non existent. However, sparks still fly between Vivian and her husband, the issue is that they fly in what society would call very politically incorrect situations. Vivian goes through therapy and an education, we read about Dominants plural, submissives, parts of the BDSM scene as well as taboos and parts of BDSM which i will come to in a minute. There is much about role play in mainstream sex, go to a shop and buy a nurse's outfit but what about fullfillment of "fetishes?" What about actual Domination? Where a woman, a girl as termed in BDSM, is disciplined and sometimes punished with a cane, a whip and a hand..what if she enjoys it all and what if she orgasms after she is forced to? Kitty Thomas' books are about fullfillment of sexuality and sexuality can't be acted or lied about. i enjoyed her first book Comfort Food and Guilty Pleasures is no less of a book. i found a lot of strength in Guilty Pleasures, in all the characters and most lovingly in Vivian's husband. Some people talk about twists but for me it really does come down to that cliche, that it's all about the journey. It's the fact that someone won't give up, they choose not to very clearly, their endurance, strength of character and love, that is the reason i will keep coming back to this book. Also, Vivian is a decent character, there's a situation where another woman stares her down and Vivian stands up for herself with diplomacy, quickness and intelligence, it's heroines like this, it doesn't matter if they are BBW, trophy wives, whatever appearance the author chooses to give them, that make me root for them. i look forward to Kitty's next book, she is a wonderful author."

Improvements and infidelity.

Pride and prejudice.

i like having rules. i was thinking about comfort food, this time food and not the book by Kitty Thomas (reference!) and come to think of it i do comfort eat. Not in quantity but the types of food and when i comfort eat, it's wotsits and i'm sorry to on the odd occasion, macdonalds. i decided no more snacks for me. No chips when i have a sandwich outside. And no "treating" myself to a macdonalds once a while because it's not much of a treat for your body. Sure, it's not going to kill you unless you eat it every day in which case i can imagine the damage from something not nutritious at all, but that's it, it's not nurititious, i have no need for this food. It's fast, i always have the same thing so i don't need to decide what i want, i love the taste and it fills me up but i like having my stomach rumble, it improves the taste of the evening meal!

At the moment, i am having to meet someone half way with regards to food, for example there's a lot of microwaveable popcorn but i can't be finishing it off just because it's been bought in quantity for a bargain. i'm serious, this is actually an almost situation! Which means it will be wasted but i am consciously treating my body this year and my face. i intend to have night care regime (if you please) for mosturising, all of one minute,!, i intend to put foot cream even daily even though my feet aren't in sandals and i intend to eat nutritious food.

i also want to make my wardrobe more luxurious, and mine is affordable, i'm more Warehouse than Reiss, my clothes are all about the skirts, dresses, relaxed but fitted and flattering, not layering, just simple with a few eye catching items.

It is VERY difficult shopping for skirts. Dresses are far easier but i intend to utilise the tops that can go with skirts, why should i buy a black dress when i have a black top and a black skirt?

i like to have some sort of set coat for the season but i don't like restricting myself to a uniform although i can see that happening due to limitations in what is available out there after the manic sales that are over and the fact that i'm petite, skirts are too big around my middle and seem to take a size 6-12 depending on the brand!

i'm also stepping up on my heels, no more mid heels. i am looking for some black high stilletos that are sexy. i want to be as feminine as i can be, because inside i know i am and i've never really thought about my clothes or shoes portraying that but i can really appreciate high heels now, i love just looking at them in shops and i love the feel of stockings.

There also comes a time when you have to say bye to lingerie that's faded or the fact you have a few too many high legs. No one but my Master sees me in my lingerie but i want to wear sets, nice colours ALL the time. Set myself a standard. So, rules they are important to me. It's not about keeping up appearances, it's about keeping, well as trite as it sounds, me.


i was reading a bit about infidelity. It's funny, i'm sure last year after Christmas suddenly articles about the topic started appearing on the net. i don't want to say there are too many rules, i think civilisation is important, i don't want to go back to the times of racism and homophobia just because there was less political correctness back then. Infidelity is WAY different to polygamy or polyamoury, infidelity is cheating, it's betrayal, it's not just morally wrong, it is wrong period. When someone commits infidelity, and i like that phrase commits because it implies a crime and to me although it is a crime to a far smaller extent than others, it's a crime, no matter how unhappy this person is, i can not stand this idea of them being "pushed" towards infidelity, i don't believe in that, i think a person SHOULD wait for say the divorce papers to come through, so i have absolutely no tolerance to those who cheat, and the people they cheat with. i'm not talking extreme situations and i certainly wouldn't publicly mock them or show my "disgust" but i lose a lot if not all respect for them and start seeing them a different way.

Next time i see yet another female celeb talking about her weight..

i'm going to run her over and steal all her money. No, i'm going to say keep your neurosis to yourself. it's different to a regular woman talking about her weight, someone not in the public eye, but when a famous women does it in a magazine, i only want to curse the media.

The thing is it's boring. i'm only entertained if say Jlo grow an extra boob, i'm not particularly bothered about how much she weighs unlike the media with whom the weight of any female celebrity is an over obsession.

i just think it's ridiculous when you find five articles about female celebrities that are to do with weight out of ten in one day.

i don't believe that esteem comes from some actress far away in Hollywood because she will get skinny anyway and then start once again talking about..yes you guessed it, her weight.

All the media do is pit women against each other and put us down. Honestly the last magazine i read was a man's one, at least they are entertaining, none of this Heat -she's fat no she's skinny no SHE is fat and SHE is just so skinny she can't be a real woman -codswallop!

Disappointed in this crap- who is going to take anti bullying seriously?

Yes i'm one of those "idealistic" people who think all bullying must stop immediately. Why? Because lives are lost- seriously what bigger wake up call do you need? Someone who goes to school and has to put up with taunts, being invisible, stares, laughs in every class is hardly a drama queen when they don't know what else to do but do SOMETHING so the pain stops. Teachers can only do so much and some do little. More support is needed, so that people are encouraged and not just thinking this is some lost cause and people thinking oh bullying has been happening since the dawn of time and my favourite, "that's just the way it is."

i know we have some woman asking people not to bully her son for wearing dresses and she wrote a book about her son the princess,!, i mean come on this goes beyond the issue of conformity and some men wanting to be women into the ridiculous, ridiculous because girls can dress like boys as that involves wearing trousers or suits and not growing a beard and shaving their hair. Wearing a red or pink dress is fine when you're grown up but when you are going to school and actually growing up, surely it's better to be aware of dressing up but not to be put bang in the middle for other children to pick on and expect they should change their mentality and if this kid dressing up is crying because he can't wear a dress, that sounds like tantrums rather than depression to me.

Gone with the wind, esteem & a few tid bits.

i'm sort of looking forward to watching Gone With The Wind, i feel like i know it as i've been reading a lot about it last few days. i'm disappointed it hasn't been on tv, surely the past holidays would have been an excellent time especially since it's a looong film! The appeal of the movie has been summarised in what i have read- survival. i'm interested in the character Scarlett O Hara, not so much into Rhett Butler. And i love the epic-ness of it, it's not a small movie is it, it's a politically incorrect old school movie with a bodice ripping type poster and from what i read an unhappy romantic ending- Brief Encounter, Ghost World, Ryan's Daughter, ET (i know no romance- they say) i like to see realism in movies and endings and read it in books. i like escapism, sunsets, sweeping staircases, a little fantasy if they want but not endings that have cars flying in the sky.

i'm also curious about the rape..was it force or was it rape? i doubt i would get information from the movie about it so i may have to track down the book.

i watched Love Actually yesterday, i've seen it a few times before and it's probably the worst movie i have seen. Because i know Richard Curtis has done better- Four Weddings was fresh and a little biting whereas LA was inspid and took itself far too seriously. It reminds me a little of a few moments of some European movies- which are far, far better. Does someone have to talk about existentialism and philosophy for me to enjoy a movie? No way! But LA never works for me and i just cringe and laugh at it. It's a different experience than the movie The Others at least it's entertaining whereas The Others was so boring and overrated and i've pretty much seen that movie before.

Anyway, if you're in England, then Seceretary is on Thursday night!


Esteem is something that takes years sometimes, i have learned to stay at my level and not lower it and how important it is to be the adult in a situation. i can only be a better person then these people and not care about their prejudices and problems, i have to come find approval in myself and not them. This has all been helped by my submission to my Master. It has made me stronger and unashamed to be myself. i could have typed this but for the submission part a year ago and it's far from the first time i have blogged about esteem but i feel more empowered than ever..for everytime someone tries to crush me, i get such a powerful thought that more than keeps me going, it makes me happy, it's like i have been stripped and the true me is coming through the fog.

i survived.

i am so glad and relieved and happy to be back to almost normality, after tomorrow, the only holidays are the weekends! Am i crazy? No, you wouldn't understand.

& randomly, the good thing about x factor is the covers of songs make me want to listen to the original. It's the opposite with Glee but that's a whole other batch of things that go in a batch, kettle of fish etc etc

Some time ago it was Alexandra Burke singing Hallelujah that made me obsessed with Jeff Buckley's version which i just love it's both modern and soulful. This time it's Biffy Clyro's Many of Horror which Matt Cardle form X factor covered as We Collide.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gYXzDctTfk (not Cardle's cover)

And just for good times http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfUYuIVbFg0 (nothing to do with the above)

i'm trying to muster up some excitement over the fact we're in a New Year, i can't because i know sort of what to expect, that's not a bad thing, in theory it's nice to see a clean slate, in practice it's just life isn't it. What a programme like Glee touches on is the many sucky things about life but for it's few moments and times..which you have to treasure and not take for granted.

i also quite like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOCCq0gjvrE. Has anyone seen the trailer for Blue Valentine? (almost said velvet there) it's my movie for 2011, yup even at this early stage.

Like what i assume crack to be like.

i was watching Mary Poppins for the tenth time (i love everything about the movie, especially "Feed the Birds!") and seriously they could never remake it with the same George Banks. And Mrs Banks. i googled "Mary Poppins sexist" because i thought i would have a good laugh at how these old fashioned characters offend people and my how it's good things have changed. Here's what i got,

"How she destroys the self-esteem of little girls everywhere: "Surely, not Mrs. Banks!" you're thinking. "She was a suffragette. She belongs on the list of The 7 Least Sexist Disney Characters!" And you'd be right about the suffragette bit. In Britain, women with a hankering to vote went to lengths just short of terrorism for that right. Mrs. Banks come home filled with joy and excitement about women chaining themselves to the Prime Minister's carriage, and then leads the household staff in a chorus of Sister Suffragettes, including the unforgettable line, "Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid."

Unfortunately, as soon as the song ends, her husband comes home, and all that "no longer meek and mild subservients" stuff goes right out the window. She shoves away all the sashes (because she knows "how the cause infuriates Mr. Banks") before the husband waltzes in the door, oblivious to everything except the way she looks.
MRS. BANKS: Dear, it's about the children -!
MR. BANKS: Yes, yes, yes. [Turns around and walks away]
...
MRS. BANKS: They're missing, George!
MR. BANKS: Splendid, splendid.
He goes on to sing that he treats his "subjects ... servants ... children, wife, with a firm but gentle hand. Noblesse oblige." Meanwhile, his wife looks like she is about to cry. Maybe Mrs. Banks isn't the sexist character here. Maybe it's Mr. Banks. At least she attempts to make him acknowledge the sentience of his children. But she's still way too complicit in this thing. Mr. Banks lays heaps of blame on her, and she accepts that everything is her fault and all but apologizes for being a terrible, incompetent person. If her husband straight-up slapped her, she'd probably thank him for teaching her a lesson.

Unfortunate moral: Everything that goes wrong in your marriage is the woman's fault.

What would have made it better: If Winifred Banks stopped being a simpering ninny and told her husband to suck her left one once in a while.
MRS. BANKS: It's about the children, George - !
MR. BANKS: Yes, yes, yes.
MRS. BANKS: DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST FUCKING SAID?"

http://lasoubrette.blogspot.com/2009/01/6-most-sexist-disnney-characters.html

Yes i think swearing is an oh so empowering way to make your point to the man who at that time, let's face it, basically is responsible for the roof over your head.

The link above has more sexist Disney characters including the favourites Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Little Mermaid. Snow White being a good cook destroys "the self esteem of little girls everywhere" (i would have thought peer pressure, dictating and bitchiness does that), Sleeping Beauty is passive, Little Mermaid puts her man before her family.

i understand and completely support and believe in a woman's choice which means i also support that some women's choice is her home, looks and love. Women have more choices now and yet they also have to deal with the tut tuts..did she really give up her her job for him? i know women have fought and fought and fought and will still fight for their rights but for me these rights also include freedom and that means actual freedom not just the freedom granted by A section of society, be it men or be it other women. And with regards to men, it shouldn't come as a shock that not all women are forced to stay at home, they may actually want to and they may actually be doing it for a man. Now acknowledging the truth, THAT is empowering to me.

"If her husband straight-up slapped her, she'd probably thank him for teaching her a lesson." Learning fast *laughs*